One Chinese Muslimah !

Many Canadian Muslimahs are now faced with an issue. We all know that we do not want Harper to be re-elected into office because he is not only a bigot but he is an Xenophobe and an Islamaphobe! I have seen countless Harper supporters on Facebook and the amount of ignorant comments that are being made are ridiculous and angering! But the sad thing is, I don't see ANY Muslims defending Islam or speaking out to clear up misconceptions and misunderstandings! Surely, we do not want to raise debates or arguments ! Of course not! But sisters, we can not just sit back and allow these ignorant people to be drowning in their Harper fever!? I am not into politics because it really does not concern me but as a Canadian citizen and living in Canada, I can't fathom the fact that there are so many ignorant Canadians who are misinformed because of the media yet we are not doing anything to educate them or answer their questions or reply to their uneducated responses! I know sometimes it is better to stay quiet and let them drown in their misery but with all the misunderstandings about Islam and with all the news about this niqab debate, we really need to step up our game and speak out to defend our religion and our rights. It all starts with your voice. Show the people your good manners and your patience and what Islam teaches you and educate the ignorant masses because if you don't then they will continue learning from the news and letting Harper dictate to them what Islam is and we all know, he clearly does not know a thing or two about Islam and Muslims. He hates them and he wants to see them fall! If you have Facebook or if you have seen anyone speak out wrongly or falsely about Muslims, please, do your deen a favour and educate them with the manners of rasulullah sallalahu aleyhi wasselam!

and just for the record :

Testimony

It is permissible for a woman to uncover her face when she is giving testimony in court, whether she is a witness in a case or is there to witness a deal, and it is permissible for the qaadi (judge) to look at her in order to know who she is and to protect the rights of all concerned.

Shaykh al-Dardeer said: “It is not permitted to give testimony against a woman in niqaab until she uncovers her face so that it may be known who she is and what she looks like.” (Al-Sharh al-Kabeer li’l- Shaykh al-Dardeer, 4/194)

Ibn Qudaamah said: “The witness may look at the face of the woman against whom he is testifying so that his testimony will speak about her in specific terms. Ahmad said: ‘He cannot testify against a woman unless he knows who she is.’” (Al-Mughni, 7/459; al-Sharh al-Kabeer ‘ala Matan al-Muqni’, 7/348, bi haamish al-Mughni; al-Hidaayah ma’a Takmilat Fath al-Qadeer, 10/26).

V – In court cases

It is permissible for a woman to uncover her face in front of a qaadi (judge) who is to rule either in her favour or against her, and in this situation he may look at her face in order to know who she is and for the sake of protecting people’s rights.

The same rules that apply to giving testimony or bearing witness also apply in court cases, because they serve the same purpose. (See Al-Durar al-Mukhtaar, 5/237; Al-Hadiyah al-‘Alaa’iyah, p. 244; Al-Hadiyah ma’a Takmilat Fath al-Qadeer, 10/26).

From time to time, I will receive quite a few e-mails from my lovely sisters in Islam who are looking for some advice and support (and that is why I started The Big Sister Little Sister project- be sure to check out the info here!) . What I noticed is that majority of them are from our youth! Many young sisters seeking advice about issues that are really affecting the adolescent today as well as sisters who are just looking for someone to talk to (and I loveeee these e-mails! Please keep them coming insha'Allah!)

As we try to catch up to the technology in this fast paced 21st century world we live in, we can't help but to fall into the powerful waves of fitnah which drowns us and brings us down to the bottom. We lose our self identity, our self respect and our longing for our Creator. I know how it feels to be living as a youth in today's world. I have been there, done that..and I know what the youth of today are facing. What was different with me was that I was not a Muslim during most of my youth so I was very lost. Often confused, and living life without a purpose, I chased the dunya as fast as I could. I chased, and I chased until I realised I could no longer keep up.

During my youth, I had very low self-esteem and this resulted in me doing things to always try to "fit in" and try to find that sense of belonging. I was often teased during middle school because of my weight and because of the teasing, in high school I suffered from a mild eating disorder ( Alhamdulillah, it did not become severe but I was VERY obsessed with self image) and I went through many identity crises and I seemed to never be content with myself, like, EVER. I thought I found my identity when I started to become OBSESSED with fashion. I ate, breathed, lived VOGUE magazines and I knew all the fashion designers by heart! I had dreams of become a designer myself and I started drowning myself in the materialist lifestyle. I even wanted to become a fashion model! Though I did some modelling for some local Toronto photographers, I had bigger dreams of hitting the runway (even though I am WAY below the minimum height requirement- Alhamdulillah Allah saved me from such oppression!) but those dreams later died out when I realised that I just could not live up to the 'druggie-anorexic' lifestyle. IMPOSSIBLE! I was always obsessed with body image and because I was overweight during my youth, I developed a true love for health and fitness. I joined countless gyms and became addicted with working out. The gym life was something else and it was just as dark and dirty as the fashion industry. Like most fashion models who do a lot of drugs, many people in the gym were no better (how ironic right?). Most of the men and women were "genetically modified" (lol) and I was naive to think that all personal trainers lead a healthy lifestyle. Most of them did not practice half the things they preached, i kid you not! I started to see all the ugly things that went on behind the scenes and I just felt so cheated and disgusted. I tried to escape the fashion industry because in my eyes, it was something too unrealistic for my lifestyle and I didn't expect that the "health and fitness" industry would be just as bad (if not worse)! I felt deceived. I was so let down because I had such high expectations of the worldly life. I expected the dunya to give me the same things I saw on television. Everything on television just seemed so perfect and I wanted to live that reality. I thought chasing the materialistic things of life such as money, body image, relationships, and latest fashion trends were THE things that were most important and the way to seek happiness. Was I ever wrong?!

(please take a few minutes to watch this quick clip and click CC for caption!)

You see my dear sisters, nowadays, we strive for things that are easily disposable. We think that looking beautiful and dressing fashionable are more important then what's on the inside. If we could take a selfie of our heart, how beautiful would it look? Most of us spend too much time worrying about how we look and which guy will notice us today, or tomorrow, or never. But how often do we think further than that? This life is not meant to please the guy at school, or trying to get married to Adam Saleh or Mohammed Zeyara. I have seen so many sisters throw themselves at brothers and it breaks my heart because if they only knew how sacred and beautiful their modesty was. Most men do not want girls that are freely throwing themselves (sometimes literally) at them. The women they want to take to their mom are the ones who are humble, shy, and modest. They want the mother of their future children to be good role models who can teach their children good morals, self-respect, and humility.

Chasing the worldly life will not bring us anywhere except down and it will only hurt us in this dunya and in the akhirah. I say this because I truly have been there, and done that. For my readers who follow me, you know I write a lot about my past life and I try my best not to expose my sins from my past because I know Allah conceals all our sins and we should not expose them , but I am only doing it merely for the sake of daw'ah and to let you all know that the things that you cherish now (romance novels, sad love songs, haram relationships, etc.) ...these are all things that are meant to deceive you and harm you in this life and the next. These very things are the tool of Shaytan and it is his way to lead us all astray (may Allah protect us all!)

“(Iblees) said: ‘Because You have sent me astray, surely, I will sit in wait against them (human beings) on Your straight path. Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You)’” (Quran, Al-Aaraf: 16,17).

". . . and follow not the footsteps of ‘Shaitan’ (Satan). Surely he is to you an open enemy" (Quran, Al-Anaam: 142)

No revert is particularly proud of their past life before they became Muslim but many of us have been able to experience the life of darkness and deceit before Islam and we realise just how truly blessed we are that Allah guided us. I often tell my readers, over and over, that the worldly life is just not worth the chase! It is so easy to become deceived because when you see everyone doing something, you become desensitized and you think that it is ok just because fulanah and fulanah are doing it! Well, remember my sisters! Just because sister a,b,c,d,e and the whole alphabet is doing it, it doesnt make it right and you should never justify their actions as being correct and in accordance with the Qur'an and Sunnah! Deep down, you know it is not right and it is not what pleases Allah. So be the leader and not the follower! You are strong and you are beautiful and you do not need random men and women to validate that! Know your worth and try to use your brains instead of your beauty to make it in this world! Be that successful Muslim doctor, that successful engineer, or a successful teacher who will touch the lives of many ! Be that successful mother who will raise righteous, well-mannered, modest children which this Ummah is lacking! Be the change you want to see in this world. We feel sad when we see what is happening all over the world and we cry and ask Allah to change the condition of this Ummah ! But when will we change our own conditions first before we expect the things around us to change? Do not attach yourself to this dunya, work hard to leave a legacy, something that will benefit you while you are in your grave. When you die, nothing will go with you except your deeds so make sure you strive your hardest to attain the comfort and spaciousness in that grave that you deserve! Imagine meeting Allah on the Day and He is pleased with you! All that hard working in the dunya and finally, alas! You have succeeded! You eternal abode is the highest level of Jannah! Seeing the Face of your Rabb! Just imagine this day and ultimately strive for this day of success !

Know that the life of this world (dunya) is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children… the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment. (Al-Hadid 57:20)

Verily, the Promise of Allâh is true, let not then this (worldly) present life deceive you, nor let the chief deceiver (Satan) deceive you about Allâh. (Luqman 31:33)

If we were given a beautiful gift like a pair of diamond earrings or a brand new luxury sports car, by default, we would like to show the world what we have. When there is something given to us, normally we do not just keep it hidden and stored away from others so nobody can see it! We want to share with people and show them the beauty of what we own! Similarly, once we are blessed with the gift of Islam, we should feel the urge to share this huge blessing with everyone we know and don't know!

When I became Muslim four years ago, I was so full of zeal and joy that I wanted all my family members to know that Islam is the truth! Coming from a Chinese background where I was raised as a Christian, who later was forced to become a Buddhist, I wanted my parents to know about Islam so they would understand how true the religion is! Of course Allah guides whom He wills and giving dawah to my parents and family members truly was not as easy as I thought it would be. Rather, it was very difficult. I do admit though, my ignorance added to the challenge of conveying the message to them. I was trying to tell them about Islam instead of showing them Islam and what you need to know about me is that prior to Islam, I had bad manners and was a very rude person. I was very selfish and I also would go through many different phases in my life. My parents thought my reversion to Islam was just another phase but I wanted to prove them wrong! My uncle had been feeding them a lot of lies about Islam and he was always saying rude things and turning my parents against me. I know he was just worried about me but he did more harm than good. Subhana'Allah Allah took his life a few months after I had reverted and it brought me closer to my parents and from then on was when my journey to giving dawah to them truly began.

Prior to my uncle's death, I would often just preach about Islam and try to send them things that would tell to them about Islam and how Isa (Jesus, aleyhi salam) was not the son of God and I even tried to make my father read the Qur'an in Chinese ! All of this did not work and it only caused more problems between us. After some time, I moved away to America to be with my husband and the distance made my relationship with my parents much stronger. I started learning more about Islam and how to preach by good manners and good deeds instead of just with speech as Allah says in the Qur'an :

"And who is better in speech than he who (says: 'My Lord is Allah (believes in His Oneness),' and then stands straight (acts upon His Order), and) invites (men) to Allah (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: 'I am one of the Muslims.'" (Quran, Fussilat: 33)

"Invite to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided." (Quran, an-Nahl: 125)

I remembered that Allah often mentioned the importance of treating parents with kindness and gentleness and that was something I had never done before with my parents. I never had a close relationship with my mother because she sort of just had this "I give up on her" attitude with me because of all the things I put her and my father through. I was a true rebel before Islam, so I tried really hard and asked Allah for assistance to help me with my manners towards my parents. I asked Allah to soften my heart towards them and Alhamdulillah, some how , some way, I started to treat my parents with more respect and good manners. As Allah says in the Qur'an.

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor.'(Qur'an al Isra 17:23)

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” (Quran Luqman 31:14)

So I really tried to exercise these verses whenever I had to deal with my parents. Every time I went home to visit, I would try my best to go above and beyond and show them with my manners what my religion has taught me. I would bite my tongue (sometimes literally) to keep my mouth from talking back or saying rude things and I kept telling myself there was no room for failure because I am trying to represent the deen of Allah to my parents. I kept thinking that one wrong move, and they would change their perception of Islam forever. I am representing Islam and my actions and speech are crucial. Although this put a lot of pressure on me, I knew that good things don't come easy and I really needed to work hard to change their idea of me, and Islam. I kept working at it slowly and steadily and by the Permission of Allah, I saw my parent's attitude towards me slowly start to change. They became more pleased with me and happy with me! Something that was very rare in my non-Muslim days. We argued less and even my mom is more careful with her words around me. I can even wear abaya and hijab with them and go out in public with them and my mom tells her friends how proud she is of me with my huge change. This is not to boast, Allah knows best my intentions, but I wanted to share this as an example to let other knows that it IS possible for our parents to accept us and our religion, it just starts with us and our actions. We must be wise and learn how to deal with our parents.

My relationship with my parents has change a complete 180 and all because of Allah the Almighty. How important it is to read the Qur'an and reflect upon the verses and to truly know what is expected of us as Muslims? Had I not come across these verses and reflected upon them, I would still be treating my parents with an attitude that was displeasing to Allah. The key to giving dawah to your family is not just through speech, because our parents always have this "talk is cheap, actions are louder than words" mentality so we should show them through our actions because they hold a heavier weight. Making lots of duaa and being sincere to Allah and understanding the importance of spreading the deen in a kind, gentle way is something that must be done in order for success. I still struggle with my attitude sometimes , and that is normal since I am only a human being, so do realise that you are not perfect and you will have your moments where you slip, but ask Allah for forgiveness and tawfeeq and get back up and keep going. This journey is not an easy one but hopefully our parents will see the beauty of Islam and decide to follow us together to Jannah insha'Allah.

" Surely my prayer and my sacrifice and my life and my death are for Allah, the Lord of the Worlds." (1:162)

Before Islam, I never really put much thought into what my purpose of life was. I only cared about living the moment, and I didnt care who it was for as long as i did it for me, myself, and I! I didn't know there was a deeper meaning to life and I definitely didn't think of living my life for someone or sacrificing any part of my time and effort for anyone. But that all changed when I became Muslims. Everything suddenly had a purpose. It didn't all fall into place right away but as I learnt more about my religion, the more I started to understand the true meaning of life.

I chose this verse because it reminds me of my purpose in this life. Whenever I forget or I am finding myself buried too deep into this dunya, I remember this very and it brings me back to reality. It reminds me that everything I do is for Allah alone and that there really is no point of existence or doing anything when it is not done for Allah and His Sake.

Many people try to find their purpose in life and they will go to lengths to find it, even if it means doing things that could harm their bodies, mind, and soul. Some people think life is all about money and status, others think it is all about doing humanitarian work and raising money for charity organizations and trying to make a difference in the world. Surely, there is nothing wrong with the latter, in fact, it is highly encouraged, but it means nothing when you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Imagine doing even the smallest of deeds such as smiling or giving salams to a sister? Or doing a bigger deed like raising money for charity or feeding orphans? In Islam, you get rewards for every small and big deed you do if it is done for the sake of Allah alone. This verse is powerful and a beautiful reminder and it also preaches tawheed. It is one of my many favourite verses and it really makes an impact on my heart every time I read it. Alhamdulillah for the gift of guidance, the gift of Islam, where everything you do, has it's sole objective and that is to worship Allah alone, seeking His pleasure alone.

What is your favourite ayah ( i know there are more than one, but one that really sticks out to you and why?)

The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) has said: "Convey from me, even one verse." (Bukhari)

When I was living in my world of ignorance, I knew nothing about Islam. For nearly 20 years of my life, I never had a clue about Islam or who Muslims where. I thought that most hijabis were all Indians or Pakistanis and that they all were hindus or sikhs! I was trapped in my ignorant bubble and my life only revolved around the gym and social parties. I was completely clueless about Muslims and I had never spoken to one in my life (or so I thought). Had Allah not put my husband in my path, I feel like I would have been living my life full of ignorance (Allah Knows Best) not knowing what the true religion of Islam was. As I look back, I realised that I must have known a handful or more of Muslims (by their names and ethnic background) but I never knew a thing about Islam because they never outwardly showed that they were Muslims or because they just never talked about it. Perhaps they were afraid that if they mentioned Islam, I would have turned my back and fled (because of 9/11) or maybe they just did not know the importance of spreading Islam and conveying the message of truth.

So here I am, writing to you all about the utter importance of spreading the gift of Islam. After Allah guided me to this beautiful religion, I realized just how important it was for me to share this beautiful gift with others. I think that educating non-Muslims, and even Muslims about the true Islam is extremely important. Not only are there many people who do not know anything about Islam and Muslims but there is also a huge misconceptions about the religion which has been circulating the world (thanks to the media). Many non-Muslims learn the religion through watching unreliable news channels and reading anti-Islam websites on the internet. But the only way others can learn about Islam is from Muslims who understand and practise the religion according to the Qur'an and Sunnah! Therefore making it very important that we must continue always educating ourselves about our own religion and to lead by example through our character and manners.

“Invite (mankind, O Muhammad) to the way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Revelation and the Qur’aan) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided” [al-Nahl 16:125]

The only way that Islam spread through to the lands and reached us today is because of the dedication of the Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu aleyhi wasselam). Him (sallalahu aleyhi wasselam) and his companions (radiaAllahu anhum) worked day and night to spread the beautiful message of Islam. So we have no excuse. We should not be afraid of society and the media and we should never have to water down the deen or cater to the non-Muslims and keep quiet. There are many individuals out there (like how I once was), who are trying to seek the truth and find that true religion. Many individuals already believe in one God, they just need to learn about Islam so they are able to find Allah and turn to Him alone. I really encourage all the Muslims who practise Islam and who follow the Qur'an and Sunnah with the understanding of our pious predecessors, to take dawah more seriously and to reflect upon the countless rewards that Allah promised to the one who guides one to Islam (by the Permission of Allah).

With regards to the reward, the Prophet (sallalahu aleyhi wasselam) has said: "Whoever guides (another) to a good deed will get a reward similar to the one who performs it." (Sahih Muslim) Also, "By Allah, if Allah were to guide one man through you it would be better for you than the best type of camels." (Bukhari, Muslim)

As a revert, I truly understand the importance of spreading Islam and showing others this beautiful gift. I see how my parents and old friends who are in such darkness and truly they lead a life full of worry, despair and unhappiness. It really makes me feel sad to know that one strives so hard for this dunya and that in the end all their efforts are being wasted because they do not know their purpose of life. I know many reverts can relate to me because they see how their family suffers in their ignorance. That is why it is really our duty as Muslims to show others Islam through good manners and kind words and insha'Allah Allah will guide them just like how He guided me because of someone else's good character and kind manners.

"Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?" (Qur'an 29:2)

It has been nearly 4 years now since I took my shahadah in March of 2011 and I must say, it has been QUITE the journey! I have encountered more tests and trials now than I ever did when I was not a Muslim. Subhana'Allah! I am not going to lie, but it's been a struggle. A struggle to stay patient with things that come my way, a struggle to live as a Muslim in the West (mainly America) and not be judged for the way I dress, a struggle to find that balance and middle path, a struggle to not become complacent and too relaxed with my Islam. Everything has become a struggle. I never faced such hardships prior to Islam, probably because I would just run away from my problems and drown myself with things that were temporary and harmful. I never faced my problems when I was a non-Muslim and I chose to always rush things and run away from them at the same time. I have learnt a lot in the last 4 years and the S T R U G G L E is real.

Lately, I have been really struggling with my niqab. With all that is going on around the world and all the Islamaphobia, I can't help but to feel like a victim. Living here in the US has not been easy for me, especially since I am in a small remote town where Muslims are few and if there are Muslims, well, let's just say, they aren't the type of companions I would like to keep. I didn't know what to expect when I moved here. A small town in the South where there are no masjids or any halal restaurants or markets! The only masjid is 30 minutes away and that masjid is NOT welcoming AT ALL (with the exception of one or two older ladies). Perhaps it was my niqab that made them feel like I was an "extremists." These are the type of sisters I am referring to in my previous post "Sisterhood" where I talked about the good sisters who always make you feel loved and welcome, and then the other ones who just ignore you and pretend you are not there and because of this, I refuse to go back to the masjid (another reason is because the men and women love to congregate at the front of the masjid after ever Jummah prayer?? Like what ? Are we in high school on lunch break? Allah Must'aan). This was NOT what I expected. Poor innocent me 4 years ago, thinking that ALL Muslims were friendly, loving, caring, and welcoming *eyes widening* ...I was sooo wrong. And I write this because I want all born Muslims and reverts to know that YOUR actions, YOUR character, YOUR manners MATTER. Allah has not stressed the importance of GOOD MANNERS for no reason. Your good manners makes or breaks a Muslim's heart and I speak from experience.

To born Muslims and converts who are reading this, please PLEASE please, whenever you see a niqabi sister, a half-hijabi sister, a sister who isn't dressed very modestly at the mosque LOOK AT HER AND SMILE AND SEND SALAMS. Even if they don't respond or they look at you weird, send them SALAMS and do yourself a favour! Anyway, so because I don't have any Muslim support here, it has been very difficult to keep my emaan strong. Sometimes I feel extremely pressured to take off my niqab because of the constant uncomfortable stares and all the negativity it brings. Now, when i first started wearing niqab, I followed the opinion that it was fard but with some more extensive research, I follow the opinion that it is mustahab (highly recommended). Some of you may say "ohhhh, she is not 'Salafi' anymore! she became so relaxed and secular" (LOL!) well to those who think this way, May Allah guide you on the straight and moderate path and give you all a better understanding of the deen ameen, AND, before you judge others, judge yourself first because on the Day of Judgement, Allah will do the Judging, not YOU. Sadly, I shouldn't even have to explain myself but with the amount of extremism out there these days, you really need to clarify yourself or else you will be called an innovator and a modern Muslim!
Anyhow, do not get me wrong, I love the niqab and I think it truly is liberating and makes me feel free, none of that changed, but ironically enough, it is not my niqab that oppresses me but it is the non-Muslims (and even some Muslims) and this society we live in that really oppress me. I feel sad most of the time when I wear my niqab in public because people automatically look at me with evil eyes and total disgust. They look at me like I am filth thus it is extremely difficult to try to give them da'wah. Yes, you can smile through your eyes and say "hello, how are you," but the type of americans here, already have a preconceive notion about "people" who are dressed like me, and the door is automatically closed before it can even be open. Maybe I am wrong and others have had different experiences, but for me, this is what I have experienced and this is how I feel because I first hand experienced it with people. Alhamdulillah, Allah sends me one or two rare gems from time to time who are extremely friendly and intelligent and who actually treat me like an actual human being . I write my true feelings about how I feel with my niqab mainly because I know there are many sisters out there who struggle with the same issues. Depending on which state or country you live in, it is very difficult and many of us face extreme challenges with our niqab. Surely, we can definitely say that we feel like strangers and instead of detracting attention from ourselves, we are in fact attracting more attention to ourselves! I know there are many sisters out there who have the "I don't care what other people think" mentality and I truly commend these sisters and wish I had their courage. I used to have this courage, but as I spent more years here in the US, without many companions to help encourage me, without any halqah circles to help me increase my emaan, and without any strong support from Muslimahs (because there just aren't many here at all who follow the Qur'an and Sunnah) you kind of just become complacent and lose that zeal you once had. The struggle is real.

I know many sisters struggle with the same feelings I have and even though there are many times you feel like giving up, just remember to push on a little bit more and remember that Allah is with the patient and He WILL reward us! There are manyyyyy times I felt like giving up, and I admit, I feel like giving up daily because I feel like my situation will never change and I will be stuck here forever, but then I remember, nothing is forever and Allah is most Wise. We do not know what Allah's Wisdom is but we can only try our best to trust Him and continue to struggle and hope for the best. It is hard to stay positive in today's society - no kidding! Muslims are always being the target and the media is trying to turn the whole world against us! They will never win, Allah is our Wali and they have no protector. I need to keep reminding myself first and foremost before I can even remind any of you! I felt the need to document my feelings and experience in this post because I really needed an outlet to express myself! I just wanted to remind myself and all those sisters who struggle, that there is hope and there is always light at the end of the tunnel! Patience is the key to success (but exercising patience is so hard right?! Subhana'Allah). If we do not continue to proceed forward then we will never find that light, so we must keep going and keep pushing through. Often there are times I just lose hope and feel despair with all the things I struggle with. I feel as if nothing will ever change and that I will not be blessed with good news with any of my affairs. But then I think about all the small blessings and then I think about the Mercy of Allah and how He chose Islam for me and that this life is only a test. It is only temporary and whatever struggles and hardships we struggle with, it is only temporary and it will pass. Even though we may feel like it will never pass, Allah's Promise is always true and as my favourite saying goes ..." This day shall pass"! Just keep reminding yourself that the struggle is worth your akhirah and we all want to be neighbours in Jannat al-Firdaus and Allah will never burden us with more than we can bear.. Allahu Akbar!

Allah tests all His servants with tests that are specifically catered to the individual and their weakness. Tests are not meant to destroy us but they are supposed to help bring us to a level that we were not once able to be at. Tests are supposed to bring us closer to Allah because He loves to hear His servants beg to Him for His Help, His Guidance and His Mercy.

So I leave you with these inspirational verses from the Qur'an and I hope that you can choose a few and read them each day over and over and write them somewhere and post it on your wall:

"O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient" (2:153)

“So lose not heart nor despair…” [Al ‘Imran 3:139]

"O you who believe, persevere and endure and remain stationed and fear Allah that you may be successful " [Al ‘Imran 3:200].

“…Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.” [az-Zumar 39:10]

“…and be patient. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” [al-Anfal 8:46]

“…but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere – who say, when afflicted with calamity: ‘To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return’ – they are those on whom [descend] blessings from their Lord, and Mercy and they are the ones that receive guidance” [al-Baqarah 2:155-7]

“We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient).” (Surat al Baqarah, 155)

“Or do you think that you will enter Paradise before Allah tests those of you who fought (in His Cause) and (also) tests those who are As-Sabirun (the patient)?” (Surat A’le Imran, 142

“You shall certainly be tried and tested in your wealth and properties and in your personal selves, and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you from those who received the Scripture before you (Jews and Christians) and from those who ascribe partners to Allah….” (Surat A’le Imran, 186

“And fear the Fitnah (affliction and trial) which affects not in particular (only) those of you who do wrong (but it may afflict all the good and the bad people), and know that Allah is Severe in punishment.” (Surat al Anfal, 25

“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: ‘We believe,’ and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars….” (Surat al `Ankabut, 2-4).

“Who has created death and life that He may test which of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving.” (Surat al Mulk, 2)

The Prophet said, “The dearest to me among you and the nearest to me on the Day of Judgement are those who have the best character.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 2018)

As I reconnect with some old friends from high school, I try to let them see how much Islam can change a person; Islam can change one's morals, character, and manners. Alhamdulillah I am blessed with many sisters who have beautiful character and manners and they truly show me what real sisterhood in Islam is. They make me feel like I have entered into a religion that truly does preach unity, peace, and kindness. It is safe to say that I can count my closest friends on one hand and these are the sisters who have been riding along side with me during my journey as a Muslim. Islamic sisterhood is something sacred and beautiful, IF it is built upon the purpose of pleasing Allah and if it is done for His Sake alone. Islam teaches us how to treat our sisters with care and respect. A simple message to greet her and ask her how she is doing, or a friendly visit to bring her a gift are some of the beautiful things I have been able to experience as a muslimah. Many sisters go above and beyond to really make you feel cherished and appreciated and it is something that I never experienced during my life as a non-Muslim.

As I write about the good, sadly, I must also bring attention to the not-so-good. There has been a trend in this Ummah these days and it is the lack of akhlaq and adaab within the Muslim community. I have noticed that the good manners and basic etiquette of giving and even returning salams have become something very rare. I have been a Muslim for nearly 4 years now by the Mercy of Allah and I have begun to notice that a lot of non-Muslims are more polite and supportive than Muslims and this is something that is very troubling. Our religion teaches us to be supportive of each other and to treat each other like we are sisters of one another and Allah has promised us His Shade on the Day of Judgement for those who love each other for His Sake,

It was reported from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“There are seven whom Allaah will shade with His shade on the day when there will be no shade except His: the just ruler; a young man who grows up worshipping his Lord; a man whose heart is attached to the mosque; two men who love one another for the sake of Allaah and meet and part on that basis; a man who is called by a woman of rank and beauty and says ‘I fear Allaah’; a man who gives in charity and conceals it to such an extent that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives; and a man who remembers Allaah when he is alone, and his eyes fill up.” (Agreed upon, narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 620; Muslim, no. 1712; and others)

I really do not know where this "attitude" stems from but I think it is something that we all really need to reflect upon. We tend to forget the importance and value of good character. Having good manners and good character will only bring about good. It will only increase love between one another and it is something that pleases Allah. So why can't we put our arrogance and difference aside and treat each other in a way that Allah Loves?

When asked about the best of the believers, the Prophet replied, “They are those who have the best character and manners.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 1162; Sunan Abu Daawood: 4682)

Good character and good manners are signs of a true believer, and the amount of reward that can be sought just by having good manners is better than those who do the voluntary prayers and fasts!

The Prophet said, “No deed that will be placed on the scale of deeds [on the Day of Judgement] will be heavier than good character. Indeed, a person with good character will attain the rank of those with a good record of voluntary fasts and prayers.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 2003)

One thing that really attracts people to Islam is the good manners and character of Muslims. Of course, we can not speak on behalf of ALL the Muslims but wouldn't it be such a beautiful thing if we could be in the category of Muslims who practise and preach good manners and good etiquette? Exercising good manners and good character could not only attract non-Muslims but also encourage Muslims who are not necessarily practicing, to find Allah and return back to the deen! Many of us forget the important sunnah of having good character, it really does not take a lot to smile and send Salams to your sister in Islam or to send her a random message asking her how she is over e-mail or what's app. Let us always try our best to remember our manners the next time we are online or out in public. No matter how hard it is to be polite to a rude person, remember that the upper hand is better than the lower hand and your reward and efforts will not go overlooked by the Almighty (I know it can be so difficult and I speak from first hand experience, and still I am struggling to this day!) May Allah bless us with good akhlaq and be a leader of good rather than a follower of bad. Ameen.

I would like to know your experiences that you have had with good manners and bad manners, and how did you overcome your struggles and how you deal with rude people.

When the Prophet was asked about which act leads people to enter Paradise the most, he replied, “Piety and good character.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 2004; Sunan Ibn Maajah: 4246)

“A believer eats in one intestine (is satisfied with a little food), and a kafir (unbeliever) or a hypocrite eats in seven intestines (eats too much).” (Bukhaari)

As the blessed month of Ramadan rapidly approaches us, we begin to prepare for it in many ways. Some have already written out a "game plan" for the 30 days of fasting and their intense worship they want to do, others have decided to start increasing in good deeds, and some, well, they have only started to prepare for nothing but a schedule for iftar gatherings with recipes of savory and sweet meals. Yes, breaking your fast is very important and a must, but we should remember that Ramadan is something more than just fasting the entire day and then meeting with friends and family to do nothing but feasting. Since I reverted to Islam, I have met a fair share of born Muslims who are very cultural. Surely there is nothing wrong with incorporating your culture into your daily life but it should never supersede your religion and it should never be the driving force for your actions. Islam is a complete religion and it is a way of life. The Qur'an guides us and the Sunnah helps us understand how to live our daily lives. We all know that Islam is a religion of moderation and that Allah does not like extravagance and those who waste.

The Prophet (pbuh) said:

“The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to eat a few morsels to keep him alive. If he must fill it, then one-third for his food, one-third for his drink, and one-third for air.” (al-Tirmidhi –saheeh by al-Albaani)

The month of Ramadan is no exception. In fact, during this blessed month, we must remember that it is a month to purify ourselves and our intentions and to strengthen our relationship with Allah the Almighty. Our priority should not be counting down the minutes until Maghrib and then rushing over to our friend's or family's home to stuff our faces at iftar to the extent that we are so full that we can not even stand and pray taraweeh. Ramadan is about fasting, not feasting. In Ramadan, we should be loosing weight (not intentionally) and we should not be gaining weight. We should be gaining spiritual guidance and purity.

During Ramadan we should focus on taking selfies of our character instead of taking selfies with our food. We should be thinking of ways to help the needy and poor during and after Ramadan. We should reflect on how blessed we are to be given another chance for Allah's Mercy and Forgiveness to be showered upon us. We should remember that there are many starving people all around the world and we should not overeat and waste food. I never realised how many Muslims waste food until I met some who eat and eat and eat and then waste and waste and waste! Can you imagine how many poor people all the wasted food could feed? If you can't finish something, pack it home and eat it the next day, even if you aren't a "I don't eat leftovers" kind of person, at least think about the blessings Allah has blessed you with and do it for His Sake. Also, remember that because you wasted so much food, Allah could easily test you with hunger and poverty somewhere in the near future.

“And eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allâh) likes not Al-Musrifûn (those who waste by extravagance)”

[al-A‘raaf 7:31]

The blessed month of Ramadan is a month where we recharge our emaan battery and to pick up on certain obligatory acts and worships that we were not able to during the year. Fasting is something that is done solely for the sake of Allah and it should be done sincerely. If we really want to earn reward and please Allah, we will remember that once we break our fast, we should not overindulge and stuff our faces until nothing but belches come from our mouths.

Abu Juhayfah (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

“A man burped in the presence of the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) and he said: “Keep your burps away from us, for the one who eats his fill the most in this world will be hungry for the longest time on the Day of Resurrection.” (al-Tabaraani–Saheeh)

Let us remember what the purpose of Ramadan is and let us work hard and strive to not waste food and to overindulge in extravagance. As we want to take that extra bite of food, let us remember that extra bite may hinder us from making a long sujood which could earn us the Forgiveness of Allah, the Almighty. Let us remember, before throwing away that plate of food, those who are fasting all year around because they are too poor to eat a warm meal every day.

Remember that Ramadan is a month of giving and not taking. Ramadan is a month for us to change what is within ourselves and to turn back to Allah and seek His Mercy and Forgiveness. Ramadan is a month where we learn to give up bad habits and try our best to come out fuller and stronger, not with food but with emaan, wisdom, and taqwa.

Ramadan is a month of fasting, not feasting.

Abu Hurairah relates that the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "He who observes the fast during Ramadhan out of sincerity of faith and in hope of earning merit will have his past sins forgiven him" (Bukhari and Muslim)

May Allah bless us with many opportunities to fast during Ramadan and may He give us success and a chance to change for His Sake and to come out of this Holy month, better, kinder, wiser, and adhering to the Qur'an and Sunnah. Ameen!

Abu Darda (RadiAllahu Anhu) reported that Rasulullah (Sallalahu aleyhi wasselam) said, “Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one’s good manners.”(Al-Bukhari)

As we spend countless hours standing in front of the mirror, combing our beards, making sure our pants are above the ankles, fixing our niqab's and making sure our abaya's are clean and ironed, we tend to forget about fixing what is inside of us. Surely, trying to follow the Qur'an and Sunnah to the best of our abilities is important and highly encouraged, but sometimes we focus too much on our outer appearance and we neglect our inner appearance. Though nobody can see the colour of our hearts or can read our thoughts, Allah Knows everything that lies within ourselves.

Many of us worry too often about our physical, outer Islam yet neglect the inner, intangible Islam. Surely, the physical aspect of Islam is important and our physical worship is extremely valuable and does help us become better Muslims, but until the inner part of us is clean and pure, then only will our outer Islam be sincerely for the sake of Allah. Allah, the Almighty looks more to the hearts and our sincere actions more than anything else and it seems these days, many of us forget this.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather He looks at your hearts and actions.” ( Sahih Muslim 2564)

Since I reverted to Islam, I have met many wonderful sisters online and offline who have shown me countless times of the beauty of Islam through their manners and good character. They always greet me with a smile and send me a random message and to let me know that they were thinking of me and wanted to say Salam. They genuinely want to talk to me and they never message me just because they need something. They try to follow the manners and etiquette of the Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu aleyhi wasselam) and it just makes me feel so special and that there are some sisters who truly do love me for the sake of Allah. Unfortunately, I can only count a handful of these lovely sisters on one hand, may Allah reward them and continue to beautify their character. It seems these days many sisters place more concern with their exterior appearance and neglect the inner. Many of us may look like a Muslim but the way some of us act online, in public, and in secret are unacceptable. Islam is about good manners and there is a lot of reward for those who show beautiful manners and etiquette (while of course implementing the Qur'an and Sunnah).

Abu Hurairah (RadiAllahu Anhu) said, “I heard Abu al Qasim (Rasulullah (Sallalahu aleyhi wasselam)), say, ‘The best among you in Islam are those with the best manners, so long as they develop a sense of understanding.” (Al-Bukhari)

Of course this is a reminder to myself first and foremost, as I truly feel this is something that I struggle with on a day to day basis. As I delve deeper into the true teachings of the Qur'an and Sunnah and learn more about our beloved prophet Muhammad (sallalhu aleyhi wasselam) and how he had the most beautiful character and dealt with people with the finest of manners, I can't help but feel compelled to follow his footsteps. Coming from a background where good manners and etiquette were never really practised in my culture, it really is a challenge. Some people were born into good manners and others, not so much. I consider myself the latter and I have learnt just how important it is to practise what we preach. We should all be working hard on beautifying our character and walking on this earth with the best of manners. We should be showing the non-Muslims the beauty of Islam through the way we carry ourselves and as well to those Muslims who are far from the deen. Just because our exterior is beautiful and it physically portrays Islam, it does not mean that we have the right to be rude to people, not send Salams, curse and backbite, and other acts that are disrespectful and not part of the deen.

Abd Allah ibn ‘Amr said, “Rasulullah (Sallalahu aleyhi wasselam) was never obscene or coarse. Rather, he used to tell us that the best among us were those with the best manners.” (Al-Bukhari)

What is more beautiful than a Muslim sister who knows the importance of beautifying her heart so that her deeds would be sincere and purely for the sake of Allah? When I see a sister with beautiful character, I can't help but want to emulate her actions and it really motivates me to want to focus more on my inner character so that it will shine through on the outside. Having the most expensive abaya or dressing in all black does not mean anything if you will continue to treat others without respect while looking down on them. Just because you wear the niqab and cover your face, it does not mean that you have the right to judge others who do not dress the same as you. How do we call others to Islam if we can not even show to them the kind manners and good character of a believer? We must always remember,

Rasulullah (Sallalahu aleyhi wasselam) said: “The most beloved of Allah’s servants to Allah are those with the best manners.” (At-Tabarâni and Albani authenticated it in Silsilatul-AHaadeethis-Saheehah

How easy it is to attain the status of one who prays the night prayer, and how easy it is to be granted al-Jannah just by exercising good manners towards one another (and of course fulfilling the obligatory before anything)!

Abu Hurairah (RadiAllahu Anhu) said that Rasulullah (Sallalahu aleyhi wasselam) said, “If one has good manners, one may attain the same level of merit as those who spend their nights in prayer.” (Al-Bukhari)

Let us all reflect upon the beautiful manners that our beloved prophet (sallalahu aleyhi wasselam) had and let us follow in his footsteps and those after him. We should take care of our outer appearance but we should also remember never to neglect what is in our hearts because that is truly what Allah cares about the most! Remember to always keep your intentions clean and to remember not to put your outer appearance before your inner. With a clean heart and the right intentions, our manners should cloak our outer appearance with beauty. May Allah bless us all with good character and manners and keep our intentions purely for His Sake and may Allah give me and all of us the tawfeeq to practise what we preach ameen!

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