Many times I get lost in my struggles and I lose sight of who I am. Even though I converted to Islam four years ago, it is safe to say that I feel like I just starting my journey as a Muslimah . Sure, I learnt quite a bit when I became Muslim and I would write and write about endless topics that were stressing the Ummah, but until I was put in my own predicament, until I was the one struggling with my own hardships and trials then that was when the real learning began. I admit, I did not handle my situations the best as I could, and still to this present day I struggle and fight with my own nafs. I try my best not to complain but weakness overpowers me at times and I stumble. I realised just how weak I truly am and I finally understand what it is to be tested and how it feels to preserve with patience (or lack thereof). Patience is something very valuable and it is something that does not come naturally or easily for mankind was made to be hasty. I have probably failed miserably countless times because of my lack of patience. I always find myself feeling guilty after and realising I must have lost all the rewards of a test of a trial because of my lack of patience and reacting right away! I know I am not the only one! 

I have to constantly remind myself that I am being tested and Allah wants to See how patient I will be! He wants to reward me and yet I fail each time! My emotions sometimes overpower me and I just lose control and forget the whole purpose of my tests !

As I sit here writing, I reflect upon myself and my weaknesses. Do not get that confused with sins because some people have asked me "why are you exposing your sins online" when in reality, and Allah Knows Best, I am not exposing any sort of sins. It is not wrong to admit that we are weak and that we have faults. I know I am not the only one who suffers from countless weaknesses and I know many people can relate with me. I just wanted to write this post to remind myself and others that we should always try our best and keep fighting through the trials and the difficult times.

I wanted to give up so many times yet I kept telling myself NO, this is just a test and I must get through this and Allah will reward me accordingly! It is not easy being patient, truly it is one of the hardest tests we all have to face. But while we try to be patient we should also reflect on the blessings we DO have and not to dwell on the things we don't have. I find every time I am surrounding myself too much with social media and I see how people always post themselves with their perfect lives, I always end up comparing myself to them and then I end up feeling miserable and so depressed! Subhana'Allah! Allah already tells us that we should always look to those who are less than us so that we will always be grateful! How wise!

I am going through a lot of things right now that are truly testing my patience and though it may not be hard for someone else, this test and struggle is catered perfectly to me and my abilities according to Allah and His Wisdom! I know that many of you are going through some tests and trials in your lives and even though they are not big to someone else they are to you and that is what matters! We should keep making duaa and ask Allah to make a way out for us and to increase us in patience and don't be afraid also to talk to someone who actually cares!

A lot of the times we go to people for advice but many of them just brush it off and tell you the generic advice "don't worry, just have patience and make duaa".. (just like what I am telling you hahah!) but seriously, though that IS the best advice and the advice i give to myself, I don't know what you are going through but whatever it is, just know that it is really meant to shape you into a more resilient, positive and beautiful Muslimah!

Our trials and hardships are meant to bring us closer to Allah and to help prepare us for Jannah insha'Allah! Just look at all the non-Muslim historical figures and the Muslims ! They did not get to where they were/are today overnight! They suffered, struggled, fell many times but they kept getting back up and kept going. It is so easy to give up but the best of those are the ones who get back up and keep going and keeping reminding themselves that this is all from Allah and that He WILL help me get through this since He put me in it in the first place! Let us reflect on the following verses about patience and the rewards Allah has promised! I hope that we can all encourage each other to strive harder and to never give up and help each other during times of hardship and ease! It is amazing you will find out who your true friends are when you are going through hardships. Some people just end up smiling in their glory because of your sufferings (astughfurAllah) and then there are some who truly care sincerely for you and wish to help you along your journey! Seek the latter and get rid of the prior because ain't nobody got timeeeee for that!!!! Please keep me in your duaas my sweetlings and I pray to Allah that He helps me and you through the hard times and the easy times and to never ever remove from us the blessings He has given us and to protect us from His Punishment! Ameen!!

Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, "When (will come) the Help of Allah?" Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!

[Surah Baqarah 2:214]

Testimony

It is permissible for a woman to uncover her face when she is giving testimony in court, whether she is a witness in a case or is there to witness a deal, and it is permissible for the qaadi (judge) to look at her in order to know who she is and to protect the rights of all concerned.

Shaykh al-Dardeer said: “It is not permitted to give testimony against a woman in niqaab until she uncovers her face so that it may be known who she is and what she looks like.” (Al-Sharh al-Kabeer li’l- Shaykh al-Dardeer, 4/194)

Ibn Qudaamah said: “The witness may look at the face of the woman against whom he is testifying so that his testimony will speak about her in specific terms. Ahmad said: ‘He cannot testify against a woman unless he knows who she is.’” (Al-Mughni, 7/459; al-Sharh al-Kabeer ‘ala Matan al-Muqni’, 7/348, bi haamish al-Mughni; al-Hidaayah ma’a Takmilat Fath al-Qadeer, 10/26).

V – In court cases

It is permissible for a woman to uncover her face in front of a qaadi (judge) who is to rule either in her favour or against her, and in this situation he may look at her face in order to know who she is and for the sake of protecting people’s rights.

The same rules that apply to giving testimony or bearing witness also apply in court cases, because they serve the same purpose. (See Al-Durar al-Mukhtaar, 5/237; Al-Hadiyah al-‘Alaa’iyah, p. 244; Al-Hadiyah ma’a Takmilat Fath al-Qadeer, 10/26).