The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look at who he takes as a close friend.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 8433; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 4046

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace." 
(Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Hadith 314)


 “And keep yourself content with those who call on their Lord morning and evening, seeking His Countenance, and let not your eyes pass beyond them to those who seek the pomp and glitter of this life...” (Al-Kahf 18:28 - interpretation of the meaning)

Since I rarely leave my home (Alhamdulilah) , the only way to build my sisterhood is online. The big online ocean with the plethora of sisters swimming around waiting to be caught and sent to me by Allah. I've met a many variety and I am witnessing a constant pattern.

Many sisters who fear Allah and truly you can sense their sincerity over the computer, many sisters who go out of their way for you and to give you sound advice, many sisters who treat you like their own family, many sisters who are kind and gentle with their words and their akhlaq, many sisters full of pride, pointing fingers at others when they need to look at themselves (surely, we all fall into this category including I, but at least I admit it and am trying hard to work on it bidhniAllah). I've met many sisters who claim they follow the correct path yet their actions speak louder then words. I've met many sisters who wear the niqab yet their actions and words do not represent any sort of modesty or fear of Allah (Subhana'Allah). I've met amazing lovely sisters, who truly fear Allah and love one another for His sake and His alone. I've met many sisters who speak out of ignorance due to their lack of knowledge in the deen and their emotions that they don't know how to control. I've also met sisters who backbite me and act friendly to my "face (computer screen)". I've also met many sisters who are just plain arrogant and ignorant with their actions. I've also met many sisters that I just don't get along with. Subhana'Allah .. I've met many sisters ?!

It is merely through my experiences , my many trials & errors through meeting sisters, that I am writing this post, and warning, and advising you. Showcasing just how important it is to find a sister who fears Allah and follows the CORRECT teachings of the Qur'an and Sunnah (and not just make claims that they do). It's hard to tell during the first few months, but with time, as people grow, you will see for yourself their true colours (and asking Allah for His guidance).
It may take as short as days, months and as long as years for you to see what kind of friendship you have and if it is based solely out of the love for Allah's sake of if it is based on your own nafs and ignorance.
I sit at home most of my days, busy trying to unite the sisterhood and what is left of it (at least online) and I've learnt that, building a friendship online (without any sort of voice communicating) is a bit difficult and at times can cause much misunderstanding between each other. But it is only out of the fear and love of Allah that you are able to develop forgiveness and throw away your pride issues and make your sisterhood strong. Subhana'Allah. I think about all the relationships I have had with many sisters, and I continue to reflect. I am able to see how much I have grown, what I need to work on with myself, and what Islam teaches about sisterhood:

Learning to forgive, learning to put away your pride, learning not to belittle people through your own ignorant comments, learning to NOT start a senseless debate because you want to prove your invalid valueless point (based on your own emotions), learning to IGNORE people who make you angry or upset, learning to leave a situation that does not concern yourself, learning to seriously NOT backbite, learning to control your temper and attitude when a sister attacks you and oppresses you with her pride, learning to walk away from the situation fearing Allah, learning to treat all your sisters like they are your good friend, learning to not sever ties due to your own nafs and shaitan (but sometimes certain sisters CALL FOR having to cut them off permanently), learning that the "block" and "delete" button can also become your "best friend", learning how to maintain good character and manners ALL THE TIME, learning to properly balance your time with your other priorities, learning to prioritize your time and not over exert your efforts with sisters, learning to NOT feel guilty just because you know you're right yet people make you feel wrong, learning your RELIGION ( so you don't get manipulated, brainwashed, weakened into thinking that the path you are following is wrong), learning to take time to yourself and to not spend too much time wasted on sisters who don't care about your Akhirah, learning that the most important quality to look for in a sister, is her fear for Allah, her GENUINE fear for Allah. If she fears Allah, she will have good akhlaq and good adaab. She will always greet you with the proper Islamic greeting no matter what. She will be happy to encourage you with all your affairs especially related to DEEN. She will not confuse you with her own ideologies and she knows that the Qur'an and Sunnah are the absolute two things that must be followed in order to be successful in this dunya AND the Akhirah. She will never make you feel lower than her. She is genuinely interested in your Akhirah. She never opens the door for debates or confrontations. She is gentle and kind with her words. She respects you and you respect her and there is always a mutual understanding between the two of you. Quality OVER quantity.

Having good companions who are on the correct upright middle path is one of the most important things in Islam. A person who constantly reminds you of Allah instead of stresses you out and a person who brings out your good qualities instead of your bad ones, is truly a good companion. When she reminds you always about Allah and you can tell her sincere, gentle tone is very genuine. Those who remind you about other than Allah, do not consider them as a close companion. Those who always mention Allah in their speech (online, on phone, in person) are the ones that you should hold onto. Remembering Allah is not only in the heart, but it is from the tongue and the actions as well. I have realised that over time, the search for a true companion still prevails. Never attach yourself too tightly to anyone, for it may not bring you any good to do so. With time, people grow, people change. Attach yourself to Allah first and foremost and if that person turns out to be someone you didn't expect them to be, take it as a blessing from Allah that He saved you from harm or that He has someone better for you insha'Allah.

While writing this post, I was able to truly reflect upon the person that I have become since Islam. I have a definite long way to go. I realise much of my faults and my shortcomings that need to seriously be addressed and it is only through distancing myself with people, that I can really focus on correcting myself. I noticed a pattern that surfaces over and over again, and it is that if we expect good from someone or something, if we expect the world to change, or an individual to change... WE must START with OURSELVES. The key to success in this dunya: REMEMBER ALLAH FIRST AND FOREMOST before ANYONE or ANYTHING else and FEAR HIM LIKE YOU NEVER FEARED ANYTHING OR ANYONE IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE! Educate yourself with seeking knowledge, apply it, and share it. Once you have established your firm, solid foundation then insha'Allah this is only when good friendships begin and last, resulting in CHANGE within the Ummah.

If I have ever wronged any of you or made you feel oppressed due to my own shortcomings and ignorance, please forgive me. May Allah continue to guide us all and keep us grounded with humility and never let our own pride be the reason we go to the Hellfire (NAUDHUBILAH).

My last two piece of advice (well not really advice but amazing reminders) :

The great Sahabi Abu Darda (radiallahu 'anhu) used to say: “Shall I not tell you about something that is better for you than charity and fasting? Reconcile between your brothers, for hatred diminishes reward.” (reported by al-Bukhari in Ad-Adab al-Mufrad)




May Allah forgive me for anything that I've said that has offended you, anything good I've said is from Allah and anything bad is from my own self and I seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan the accursed. Ameen!