Sisterhood.

June 17, 2015

The Prophet said, “The dearest to me among you and the nearest to me on the Day of Judgement are those who have the best character.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 2018)

As I reconnect with some old friends from high school, I try to let them see how much Islam can change a person; Islam can change one's morals, character, and manners. Alhamdulillah I am blessed with many sisters who have beautiful character and manners and they truly show me what real sisterhood in Islam is. They make me feel like I have entered into a religion that truly does preach unity, peace, and kindness. It is safe to say that I can count my closest friends on one hand and these are the sisters who have been riding along side with me during my journey as a Muslim. Islamic sisterhood is something sacred and beautiful, IF it is built upon the purpose of pleasing Allah and if it is done for His Sake alone. Islam teaches us how to treat our sisters with care and respect. A simple message to greet her and ask her how she is doing, or a friendly visit to bring her a gift are some of the beautiful things I have been able to experience as a muslimah. Many sisters go above and beyond to really make you feel cherished and appreciated and it is something that I never experienced during my life as a non-Muslim.

As I write about the good, sadly, I must also bring attention to the not-so-good. There has been a trend in this Ummah these days and it is the lack of akhlaq and adaab within the Muslim community. I have noticed that the good manners and basic etiquette of giving and even returning salams have become something very rare. I have been a Muslim for nearly 4 years now by the Mercy of Allah and I have begun to notice that a lot of non-Muslims are more polite and supportive than Muslims and this is something that is very troubling. Our religion teaches us to be supportive of each other and to treat each other like we are sisters of one another and Allah has promised us His Shade on the Day of Judgement for those who love each other for His Sake,

It was reported from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“There are seven whom Allaah will shade with His shade on the day when there will be no shade except His: the just ruler; a young man who grows up worshipping his Lord; a man whose heart is attached to the mosque; two men who love one another for the sake of Allaah and meet and part on that basis; a man who is called by a woman of rank and beauty and says ‘I fear Allaah’; a man who gives in charity and conceals it to such an extent that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives; and a man who remembers Allaah when he is alone, and his eyes fill up.” (Agreed upon, narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 620; Muslim, no. 1712; and others)

I really do not know where this "attitude" stems from but I think it is something that we all really need to reflect upon. We tend to forget the importance and value of good character. Having good manners and good character will only bring about good. It will only increase love between one another and it is something that pleases Allah. So why can't we put our arrogance and difference aside and treat each other in a way that Allah Loves?

When asked about the best of the believers, the Prophet replied, “They are those who have the best character and manners.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 1162; Sunan Abu Daawood: 4682)

Good character and good manners are signs of a true believer, and the amount of reward that can be sought just by having good manners is better than those who do the voluntary prayers and fasts!

The Prophet said, “No deed that will be placed on the scale of deeds [on the Day of Judgement] will be heavier than good character. Indeed, a person with good character will attain the rank of those with a good record of voluntary fasts and prayers.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 2003)

One thing that really attracts people to Islam is the good manners and character of Muslims. Of course, we can not speak on behalf of ALL the Muslims but wouldn't it be such a beautiful thing if we could be in the category of Muslims who practise and preach good manners and good etiquette? Exercising good manners and good character could not only attract non-Muslims but also encourage Muslims who are not necessarily practicing, to find Allah and return back to the deen! Many of us forget the important sunnah of having good character, it really does not take a lot to smile and send Salams to your sister in Islam or to send her a random message asking her how she is over e-mail or what's app. Let us always try our best to remember our manners the next time we are online or out in public. No matter how hard it is to be polite to a rude person, remember that the upper hand is better than the lower hand and your reward and efforts will not go overlooked by the Almighty (I know it can be so difficult and I speak from first hand experience, and still I am struggling to this day!) May Allah bless us with good akhlaq and be a leader of good rather than a follower of bad. Ameen.

I would like to know your experiences that you have had with good manners and bad manners, and how did you overcome your struggles and how you deal with rude people.

When the Prophet was asked about which act leads people to enter Paradise the most, he replied, “Piety and good character.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhee: 2004; Sunan Ibn Maajah: 4246)

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Assalamualaikum, please be mindful about what you are about to write. Think about it before writing and make sure it is something positive and beneficial, otherwise it will be deleted and ignored. JazakiAllah kheyr ! Sisters ONLY! xo