Sunday, March 3, 2013

The prideful , backbiting, angry sisters.

Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatu,

This post is dedicated to all of us (myself included, first and foremost), who are ignorant in many avenues of the religion. This post is written bidhni'Allah so that we can reflect upon ourselves and be better, weaker servants of Allah, The Almighty and to treat our sisters in Islam a whole lot better (keeping in mind that, kindness, forgiveness, understanding and humility towards one another is SOLELY to earn the Pleasure of Allah, and Him alone). I know there are many sisters, including myself, who have been oppressed, disrespected, and talked about behind their backs and I just wanted to say to those victims... "I FEEL YOU SIS" and don't worry, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Hearing, All-Seeing and He is MOST JUST. If those sisters who have wronged us, have not apologized to us whilst continuing in their ignorant ways, and following their own desires whilst putting their pride before Allah, then just remember, Allah will deal with them in this dunya and the Akhirah. They, Alhamdulilah, are not our problem! They will earn whatever it is that they deserve in this dunya and the Akhirah. May Allah guide them and continue to guide us and keep us steadfast and upright upon His beautiful, loving, gentle deen. Ameen!

Let us explore.

Pride:   What expelled Ibless from Jannah? His PRIDE, ARROGANCE, and IGNORANCE. We all have a dose of pride in ourselves, some of us may have more negative pride than positive. The negative pride, is the one that stems from jealousy from another sister ( I'm talking about the, "but I'm better than her, why does she have that and I don't" attitude) and also the kind that makes you feel superior above all and the "I wear niqab, therefor I am super religious and (think) I have all the knowledge in the world-yet I don't even know what basic Akhlaq and Adab means- nor do I know what Aqeedah and Minhaj are." You refuse to take advice from others and you think that you are right in everything that you say, do, and feel. Terrible is the one who carries such a heavy burden on themselves. If you are one of these sisters, May Allah guide you, because this kind of attitude will not get you anywhere, and it will stop you from earning the Guidance and Blessings of Allah. I've witnessed with my own eyes, that some sisters are so caught up with their own pride, they won't even let you think, speak, talk and they are set in their ways and believe that they are ALWAYS right. Their pride has caught up to their throats and it has even stopped them from seeking knowledge because they think they " know so much" with their deen. We might even feel this way about ourselves (which is a good thing- self realisation is the first step to becoming a better Muslim). Anyhow, if you Fear Allah, then you will truly reflect upon the below and strive harder to Please Allah, and Him alone.:

614. Haritha ibn Wahb said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'Shall I tell you about the people of the Fire? All those who are coarse, domineering, and arrogant.'" [Agreed upon]

620. Salama ibn al-Akwa' reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, aid, "A man will continue to be arrogant until he is written among the tyrants and what strikes them will strike him." [at-Tirmidhi]

Allah Almighty says, "That Abode of the Next World: We grant it to those who do not seek to exalt themselves in the earth or to cause corruption in it. The successful outcome is for the godfearing," (28:83)

The Almighty says, "'Do not avert your face from people out of haughtiness and do not strut about arrogantly on the earth, Allah does not love anyone who is vain of boastful," (W31;17; H31:18)

Backbiting: We are all guilty of this. Even if it was before we knew about the verses in the Qur'an or in the Ahadith, we have done this at one point of our lives. Understandable. We are human beings and we are not only weak by nature, but we are heavy sinners as well. We have to realise though, that just because we wear Niqab, study Arabic, or we are a Hafidh of Qur'an, this does NOT entitle us to backbite, or gossip about sisters without them knowing. Seeking knowledge is deemed useless if we do not act upon what we have learnt. I have had many sisters backbite me and they thought that it would never come back to me, but you know, Allah always exposes the wrong doers. Without a doubt talking behind a sister's back is haram and we are only human, so if you have done this to a sister that you knew/know, repent RIGHT AWAY for this is a big sin! You'd definitely DON'T want to die in this state of having your dirty mouth and dirty heart un-cleansed by Allah's Mercy and Forgiveness before you are in the grave for your questioning period.

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful." (49: 12)

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you know what gheebah (backbiting) is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “Saying something about your brother that he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said, “If what you say is true then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.” 

"I asked the Messenger of God : Who is the best Muslim? The Messenger of God replied, "He is the one from whom Muslims are safe from the evil of his tongue and hands."(Muslim)

Prophet Muhammad  said : "Who protects his tongue from unlawful utterances and his private parts from illegal sexual intercourse, I shall guarantee him entrance into Paradise."(Bukhari and Muslim)

Being Angry:  This is JUST as common as backbiting. How many times have we gotten so angry at our sisters because they said something that did not please us? How many times have we gotten angry at a sister because they were just being honest and telling the truth for the sake of Allah? I'm sure we can ALL admit to this. But how exactly have we handled the situations when our emotions take over our rationality? Anger is from shaitan and he is of the jinn, and we know that the jinn is made from fire. The best way to extinguish the flames of fury is by seeking refuge in Allah, making wudhu, and STAYING SILENT. But sadly, we let our emotions get ahead of ourselves with the help of shaitan, and we fall into unnecessary sins. THIS IS A BIG CHALLENGE ! Especially for us sisters who tend to put our emotions before our rationality. Of course, we are all works in progress and this is something that will only change over time. The next time we fall into a disagreement or an argument, if the sister on the other end either leaves the conversation or has remained silent, let her be, and this is probably why: (And perhaps we can learn a thing or two from these provided proofs)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised us not to 

speak when we are angry. He said: “If one of you gets 

angry, he should be quiet.” [ Musnad Ahmad 

"The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allâh ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend." (The Noble Qur'an - Fussilat 41:34)

#1317. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The person who is strong is not strong because he can knock people down. The person who is strong is the one who controls himself when he is angry." ( Sahih Bukhari   )

Well, that is all I have for this post. Insha'Allah I will try to cut my posts to a minimal length. Speaking for myself, I don't bother reading long posts and usually end up skimming them (unless they catch my attention), so I will continue adding on to this list insha'Allah, because sadly, it is never-ending, as you always will find many issues with people when meeting them online (I'm sure meeting sisters in person is a totally different thing to write about...but until then) . 

If you have WRONGED a sister and know that you have followed your emotions before your rationality, and you know that Allah would NOT be pleased with your behavior, THEN REPENT AND SEEK FORGIVENESS FROM HIM and maybe you should reconcile between the ones that you have harmed and oppressed. LEARN YOUR RELIGION. Just because you wear Niqab, or full hijab and abaya, or gloves and the whole works, DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING. Just because you think you are educated in one aspect of the religion, does not mean that you are "religious." If you claim that Niqab makes you feel more "modest", "closer to Allah", and "more righteous"...then insha'Allah you will take this post as a blessing from Allah and use it to your advantage. Educate yourselves on the proper Akhlaq and Adab and know the basic fundamentals of Aqeedah. 

Our time on earth is never guaranteed  and we die with this big burden on our bad deeds scale, then just remember, there is NO turning back and the ones that we oppressed, harmed, and hurt in this dunya, well, they will see you on the Day of Judgement and it will be too late by then to even try to make things right. If we are all true Muslims, who say we "love each other for the sake of Allah" to our sisters, then NOTHING will get in the way of our sisterhood. NOT even our dirty pride, our evil desires, and our messy emotions.
Allahu Akbar. 
We say we are Muslims, lets start acting like one. 

I will leave you with this Hadith as a reminder and a warning: 

1322. Aslam said, " 'Umar ibn al-Khattab said, 'Do not let your love be a total infatuation. Do not let your anger be destruction.' I asked, 'How is that?' He replied, 'When you love, you are infatuated like a child. When you hate, you desire destruction for your companion.'" (Sahih Bukhari)

May Allah forgive me for anything that I've said that has offended you, anything good I've said is from Allah and anything bad is from my own self and I seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan the accursed. Ameen! 

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