Monday, September 18, 2017

Yo, but am I annoying tho' ?

Annoying people exist. They are everywhere and they come in different shapes and sizes. They can be people you meet for only a minute or they can be living under the same roof as you. Annoying people exist and they are as real as it gets.

I am an only child so I have always been used to spending a lot of time by myself. When I was young I used to enjoy being social and making a lot of new friends. I was never a cliquey person because I liked to have different groups of friends. Different groups of friends meant diversity and I liked (still do ) diversity. I never liked boring. I was like this up until my adult life until shortly after I became Muslim. When I first became Muslim, I wanted to meet as many sisters as I could and I became super social and wanted to attend gatherings. The revert-zeal I guess you could call it. But then things changed and socializing became exhausting.

Lately, I had an epiphany and realised though I may be a sociable being who is outgoing, at the end of the day I prefer to be alone. I am a sociable, outgoing introvert. Is that an oxymoron?

In Islam, good character, and manners are the keys to success in this life and the next. The importance of good etiquette and good manners is something highly valued in Islam. 

Growing up, I never really had good character or manners because the household that I am currently living in, never really showed me otherwise. Though I was told to have good manners, I was never shown good character and manners. There is a big difference between the two, especially if you are young and impressionable and vulnerable to your surroundings. You are basically copycatting what you see around you! So I just copied what I saw and called it a day. I was not born with good character and so this has been something I have been working hard on to improve. Especially now being around my family, I feel like I have to work even harder to not fall back into the way I once was!

I have struggled to try my best to tolerate and accept annoying people and try to put myself in their shoes. I think to myself, " maybe they are annoying for a good reason! "  It usually has a lot to do with upbringing and lack of confidence or TOO MUCH confidence. I guess parents have a lot to do with why a person is a certain way or why they aren't a certain way right? Afterall, look at me!

Then I think to myself, what if I am annoying and I just don't know it? What if what I see in others, others see in me (and don't take this the wrong way as in I don't exercise husnl dhun lol) ? Well, I guess that is why I prefer to be an observationalist rather than to be that overbearing individual who doesn't let anybody speak or who has to rebuke anything and everything someone says! Or those who seem to always talk about nothing else but themselves and anytime they ask you a question, and you answer, they totally disregard what you say and then talk about themselves. Or the super sarcastic individual who (enter sarcastic joke that is out of context and makes no sense -here) makes some comment and you are just thinking to yourself "HUH??". Oh, and don't forget the judgemental type! You can't eat or sleep without being judged. And those who meddle in your business and make you feel awkward. Or those who are way too open and speak everything on their mind and tell you flaws about yourself that you never asked them to bring up - thanks a lot.

I mean, I am sure I fall into these categories of annoying people from time to time and it is always important to reflect upon my own actions and hold myself accountable and ask myself, " was I annoying today? Was I being that overbearing controlling conversationalist who wouldn't let anyone speak and I only talked about myself?" I am sure I have been THAT  person on several occasions and when I think about it, I think to myself "ew." and head back to the drawing board and figure out what it is I need to work on.

I guess that is why I have become such an introvert and prefer to be alone. It gives me time to reflect. Even though the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer who mixes with people and patiently bears their annoyance will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and patiently bears their annoyance” (Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2035), I prefer to be alone because I enjoy quiet and too much noise around exhausts me. Don't get me wrong, as I mentioned before, I do like to socialise and I am considered outgoing, but at the end of the day, I do prefer to just relax in my room and engage in some hobbies that allow me to enjoy time with myself. I think it is important that we all take the time to ourselves and reflect upon who we are today and who we want to be at the end of the day. We focus too much on others but we really need to focus on ourselves and make it a point to work on our character and manners. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have only been sent to perfect good characteristics.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad(273) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (45). 
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about that which will admit most people to Paradise. He said: “Fear of Allaah and have a good attitude.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2004); he said it is saheeh ghareeb. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi

I decided to blog about this issue because it is something I have learned on my journey thus far living back home and in Canada. I have been able to meet a lot of new faces and new personalities alhamdulillah! Since I was in the US for a while, I could only meet people online. When you are physically with a group of people, it is very different. Annoying people are a big test and I feel a lot of the time Allah sends us people who we can't stand, in order to increase us in patience and to help us develop better character. When we meet people who are annoying (and by the way, the term 'annoying' is totally subjective, because the type of people I find annoying, other people may love and vice versa) we can either talk bad about them behind their backs (which obviously is haram) or we can take it upon ourselves to NOT become like that and work to better our characters and manners. 

I think because I am an introvert, and an only child, my tolerance for certain types of individuals are much shorter compared to those who have many siblings and are extroverts. I am not used to big crowds and big groups of people and I tend to become an observer rather than an engager. I know writing about this really has no benefit to anyone who is reading this but as most of you know (those who actually read my blog lol), writing helps me explore and organize my thoughts and it works as a release and so that is why I write what I want and what I feel. If anyone benefits from the expression of my thoughts than alhamdulillah! 

I think at the end of the day, we should never get TOO comfortable with ourselves and with people. Once we develop that sense of complacency, we forget the way we treat others and we forget the way we should treat others. Though annoying people exist and some of them will never leave us nor will they ever change, we need to work on our character and manners and remember to treat others how we wished to be treated. 

Sometimes we need to just retract and take a little time out for ourselves and think about life and its annoying people and ask ourselves, "Am I one of them?" 

Friday, September 8, 2017

Tasnim Collections - My HONEST Review

My honest review for my abayat from Tasnim Collections is long overdue! I have two from Tasnim that are pretty much my go-to for daily wear. I have one in the Grape Burgundy and Dark Teal and both are lightweight material. I also had a batwing one which I gave to my friend because I couldn't stand the hiking up of the sides every time I wore a jacket/coat or a cross over shoulder bag. It really annoyed me and I couldn't roll the sleeves up to make wudhu! If you don't care about all those things then go for it! But the batwing abayas are NOT for me. I have not tried the medium weight material but the light weight material works best for me. It is flowy and breathable and the material is very good quality.

I am able to throw it in the wash as often as I like AND I can put it in the dryer without any pilling, snagging or shrinkage. Compared to other online places I have purchsed from, the material of my Tasnim abayat seems to be quite durable. I also LOVE the pockets ! This style of abaya is thrown over the head and then there is a zipper in the middle that starts maybe about mid chest level. I do suggest that the zipper could zip up a little lower from the neck because I always find the neckline riding up too high on my neck when zipped (lol). Also, I would recommend that the sleeves have some sort of controlled lycra/spandex cuff because sometimes the wrist part will ride up exposing some of my wrists. It IS wudu friendly, though (depending which abaya you get). I had a batwing abaya from Tasnim back in 2013 and the wrist part was cuffed but not with an elastic material so making wudu WAS a problem because the sleeves could not roll up. Not sure if they fixed the issue but I do recommend that they look into that.

I have also a black long hijab from Tasnim and so far the material is lightweight and has not snagged ( I don't know what will happen if I wash it- I usually wash my hijabs in a pillow case because let's be real, who has time to handwash all our hijabs?) I love the coverage and length of the hijab! It is very flowy and does not feel slippery.

I highly recommend Tasnim Collections as one of my top go-to places for modest wear. Every time I wear my abaya I have gotten at least one person asking me where I got my abaya!

Below are the PROS and CONS as well as a picture of the abaya I currently have and the description and measurements from their website. I really hope to try the Khadijah jilbab someday, the only thing stopping me right now is paying $40 for shipping and shipping time can take up to 3-6 weeks. The tailor takes 7-20 days to finish the product and then an additional 3-15 days for shipping (of course this all depends on where you live). BUT I do love how it is handmade from Morocco, so you KNOW you are getting your garment made with care and attention.

If they can have some sort of incentive deals like, buy 1 get the other 50% then I will consider paying for shipping. Other than that, the items are affordable and very good quality and very durable. Oh and something definitely worth mentioning is GREAT customer service. The sister who is the owner of Tasnim is very kind and accommodating! I remember when my batwing abaya was too transparent for my standards, she offered to send me an abaya free of charge. She will try her best to cater to your needs and she is also very honest and humble. May Allah bless her and make her better than I think of her ameen!

- lightweight
- durable (can be washed and put in the dryer)
- no pilling or snagging
- many different colours, a nice variety
- pockets
- perfect length
- handmade from Morocco
- great customer service

- the elastic on the wrist is too loose
- I would like the XL to fit like an XXL
- the zipper is too close to my neck, could be longer and lower
- though items are affordable, shipping is expensive because it is based on weight so it all adds up once you check-out
- the batwing abaya you CAN'T wear a coat or a cross over shoulder bag because the abaya will hike up and show your ankles.
-I'm not a fan of the batwing abaya and you can't roll the sleeves up to make wudu

Taken from their website:

A classic piece that needs to be in every sister's wardrobe. The must-have abaya with elastic sleeve, pockets and a zip suitable for nursing mothers. The Sarah abaya is made in light weight polyester fabric with a lovely flow.
Wear preferably underneath a jilbab or with a khimar for full coverage.
For a good fit, please follow our size guide below and measure to be sure you choose the right size.
Do you need a larger or smaller size? Don't hesitate to contact us and we will do our best to help you get an abaya matching your needs.
For more information about our current colors please visit our color guide, please note that fabrics and color shades differ a little from time to time.

Size chart - length (for guidance only):

Abaya length:Your length in cm:Your length in feet:
125-130 cm / 49-51 inches150 cm4ft 11 in
130-135 cm / 51-53 inches155 cm5 ft 1 in
135-140 cm / 53-55 inches160 cm5 ft 3 in
140-145 cm / 55-57 inches165 cm5 ft 5 in
145-150 cm / 57-59 inches170 cm5 ft 7 in
150-155 cm / 59-61 inches175 cm5 ft 9 in
155-160 cm / 61-63 inches180 cm5 ft 10 in

 Size chart - width (for guidance only):

Bust52 cm / 20.5 inches56 cm / 22 inches60 cm / 23.6 inches64 cm / 25 inches
Waist54 cm / 21.3 inches58 cm / 22.8 inches62 cm / 24.4 inches66 cm / 26 inches
Hip60 cm / 23.6 inches64 cm / 25 inches68 cm / 26.7 inches72 cm / 28.4 inches
Please note: This product is handmade, therefore slight differences might occur.