Wednesday, August 31, 2011

MY First Ramadhan.

My first Ramadhan and Eid experience did not live up to that of the Twitter and Facebook status updates. I will share with you my experience and what I thought about this blessed month. The month where The Holy Qur'an was revealed, the month of extra worship, the month of fasting.

I wasn't sure what Ramadhan would entail since it was my very first one. My husband told me in his country, they make it more of a huge event than it really is; feasts, food being wasted, large family gatherings, and weight gaining are part of the Ramadan starter pack. Many individuals would eat before praying Maghrib and many would also experience weight gaining at the end of Ramadhan. AstughfurAllah! The Holy Month of Ibadah (worship) has turned into, for some, the holy month of eating!  Also, during Ramadhan, the part-time Muslims were hard at work, and once Ramadhan ended, they would be back to their full-time job with shaitan. I chuckled at the thought of this.

First of all, how is it even possible to be a part-time Muslim? Well, it is very possible and it happening everywhere in the world today.
Secondly, since when did Ramadhan become a social event? I thought the main purpose was to worship your Creator and show Him your gratitude!?
Thirdly, what ever happened to sticking to what Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) taught?

I am not sure how most of the Muslim's Ramadhan went, but my Ramadhan went a little something like this:

It was quiet and extremely simple.
I had much time alone to reflect on my relationship with my Creator.
I didn't have any big Iftar parties.
I blogged a lot.
I prayed a bit more than I normally prayed.
I took more naps than usual.
I learned how to cook two new dishes.
I thought about ways to work on my Iman.
I truly thought about death and truly dreaded the Day.
I was able to envision in my mind the day the Angel of death came to take me away
I thanked Allah continuously for the opportunity to live each day to worship Him and only Him

As you can see, my Ramadhan was uneventful and quite "boring" compared to most Muslims, but I have to say that I preferred it to be that way rather than loud, hectic, and distracting. It was nice to spend it by myself and with my husband.

I had a lot of time to reflect about my new life and how I never ever want to go astray. I had much time to really think about what it would be like in my grave when I die. Really envisioning the confined space, with nowhere to go, nothing to see except darkness. Though I am dead, my soul is still alive in my grave, waiting for the Day of Resurrection. This thought frightens me because I know that after the grave, comes the Day when we will all be judged by our Creator. So instead of stuffing my face during Iftar and Soohur, instead of worrying what new outfit I was going to wear on Eid, and instead of being busy with family gatherings, I was busy worrying about how to strengthen my iman, how to keep myself focused on the straight path until the day I die, how to live my life day by day until the Day of Judgement arrives.

I would say for my first Ramadhan, it was the most productive time I have ever had in a long, long time. Now that Ramadhan is finished, I plan to live my life with the image of me in my grave waiting for that brutally, scorching, terrible Day of Judgement and a suggestion for the part-time Muslims, you may not live to make it to the next Ramadhan, so you might as well start working hard and promote yourself to Full-time Muslim.

In Response to my post, "Mankind creates their own natural disaster."

I received a comment from my dear sister in response to my post on "Mankind creates their own natural disaster". A well written follow-up to my post. JazakAllah Kheyr my pious sister. Love you for the sake of Allah! 
''Good morning,
Salamu'alaikum khadijah,
Very nice what you have written here as yre granting us a travel free of any charge: a cutural trip between geography, history , philosophy in such a kind interesting spiritual atmosphere..masha'allah sister ..A good analyse of the lifestyle in Toronto rather man's westernized life fulfilled by lusts and vain temptations ......
Lately, the different tv news speak daily about the expected Harricane and 55 millions of people in USA are then on the risk of death.
Could then the human's high technologies prevent this natural disaster of touching any man or destructing humans'buildings and their strong walls??!! 
Could man with all his power, his wealth and his
WILL win the battle , I mean a battle between Nature and Man's Mind?!! 
What do you think sisters: Allah's Will or Man's Will?!! 
For sure : Allah 's Will ...subhanna allah wa Allah wa akbar.
Allah does not want only the GOOD for us ..But who is thinking wisely??!!!
This Harricane can only be AYAT between many Ayats of Allah the mighty to all mankind...a proof of His Power and His greatness swt and He the almighty does not need any material proof to let us recognize His Glory but the cosmos around rather the small nice flower on one of the coin of a garden glorifies Him swt ..but who is listening?! Who is seeing?! Who is minding?!
I hope the few pious believers at least remember and spread this remembrance to all mankind throughout the world and yre already doing this khadijah..masha'allah...Go ahead and we are grateful elhamdulil allah.

But as muslims learning through their Deen( islamic religion)the Mercy and the Love of best for others whosever are even atheists , we ask Allah the most merciful the Forgiver to protect people there and make of this natural phenemonen a guide for many of them to His light, to believe that ''THERE IS NO GOD But ALLAH''.
O my Lord , yre the source of Peace , The preserver of safety, remove the Evil and make our sisters and brothers the muslims living there safe , open the heart of non muslims to yr Deen and enlighten their mind by yr Light of wisdom..ameen
This is My ISLAM..This is the true MERCY.
These are the morals of our Islam: Tolerance, Justice and pure Love of all mankind asking Allah's pleasure and nothing else than His obedience insha'allah.

Thank you khadijah..yre putting the hand on a crucial actual matter: the imbalance between the needs of the human's soul (Faith) and that of his self ''Al nafs''(fulfiling its Lusts and cravings only); an imbalance between Spiritualiy and Rationality ( materialism takes unfortunately the place of the king as we say in this modern world of the 21st century)..a Battle then between Evil and Good , between Right and Wrong.....
I am then wondering: When would man awake up from ''the lies'', the nonsense , the mirage of vain modernism rather the play that he is playing on the theater of life and see then the sunshine as Allah swt created it for us to enjoy its beauty??!!!
When would be the blindness of man's eyes dissipated??!!

The RIGHT will never die.
Btw, I think that neither man's ability of free Will nor that of choice to think as you noted sister, are his means to destroy himself or lead universe to its downfall but the lack of wisdom, the human selfishness,the arrogance and the reckness of the WHY of his existance on the earth ( I mean worshipping One God Allah swt and surrendering to Him) , all this would lead him to what we are seeing now as nonsense and as disbelief worldwide...
We ask Allah the most gracious the Beneficent the compassionate the safety from the weakness of our nafs (self) and satan's trips ...ameen 
I hope with the event of this new harricane, many blind minds find then the way, the path of worshipping One God without any partner, the upright way.

I testify that there is no God but Allah and I bear witness that Muhammed is His messenger.

Elhamdulil allah for the grace of Islam.

And I end by those sacred verses from qur'an elkareem:
 قُل لِّمَنِ ٱلۡأَرۡضُ وَمَن فِيهَآ إِن ڪُنتُمۡ تَعۡلَمُونَ (٨٤) سَيَقُولُونَ لِلَّهِ‌ۚ قُلۡ أَفَلَا تَذَكَّرُونَ (٨٥) قُلۡ مَن رَّبُّ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٲتِ ٱلسَّبۡعِ وَرَبُّ ٱلۡعَرۡشِ ٱلۡعَظِيمِ (٨٦) سَيَقُولُونَ لِلَّهِ‌ۚ قُلۡ أَفَلَا تَتَّقُونَ (٨٧) قُلۡ مَنۢ بِيَدِهِۦ مَلَكُوتُ ڪُلِّ شَىۡءٍ۬ وَهُوَ يُجِيرُ وَلَا يُجَارُ عَلَيۡهِ إِن كُنتُمۡ تَعۡلَمُونَ (٨٨) سَيَقُولُونَ لِلَّهِ‌ۚ قُلۡ فَأَنَّىٰ تُسۡحَرُونَ (٨٩) بَلۡ أَتَيۡنَـٰهُم بِٱلۡحَقِّ وَإِنَّهُمۡ لَكَـٰذِبُونَ (٩٠)

Say: Unto Whom (belongeth) the earth and whosoever is therein, if ye have knowledge? (84) They will say: Unto Allah. Say: Will ye not then remember? (85) Say: Who is Lord of the seven heavens, and Lord of the Tremendous Throne? (86) They will say: Unto Allah (all that belongeth). Say: Will ye not then keep duty (unto Him)? (87) Say: In Whose hand is the dominion over all things and He protecteth, while against Him there is no protection, if ye have knowledge? (88) They will say: Unto Allah (all that belongeth). Say: How then are ye bewitched? (89) Nay, but We have brought them the Truth, and lo! they are liars. (90)''. Q 23 : 84-90

God bless you khadijah.

From your sister fi allah
Meriam (tn) ''
I encourage all the sisters to partake in commenting on posts as well, reading a post is only skin deep but replying and commenting shows that you truly understand or have an opinion on the matters that are affecting Muslims and non-Muslims today.
JazakamAllah Kheyr

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

If only.

The calm sun shines on the ocean leaving a beautiful reflection of a golden colour. The mountains scattered unevenly with perfection. The trees are so green you can smell the leaves from a far. The homes sit peacefully side by side, while the birds sing beautifully on the rooftop. The flowers stand tall tilting towards the sun. The weather is warm and the earth is cool. There is not a hint of pollution, nor is there a drop of garbage in the streets. Everything is so clean and just so beautiful. You wonder, how such beauty could ever be created?

The citizens of this town are calm, peaceful, and kind. They greet their neighbours with a "Assalamualykum" and welcome them as if they were family. You can hear them smiling through their speech, and their laughter so soft and gentle. Everyone is treated equally in this town and there is no such thing as segregation. Help is readily available for those in need and not a single soul judges anyone but themselves. The women dressed in their beautiful abayas with their hijab worn with perfection and the men in their thobes, tall and strong. Though the colour of the skin on each individual is different, they all have one thing in common, and that is the light radiating from their face. The adhan is their alarm clock, and once it goes off, everything stops except for the calling of "Allahu Akbar", everyone gathers as one Ummah (community) and begins to pray. They pray on the streets, in their homes, whatever they are doing, they stop, to pray and worship their Perfect Creator, Allah.

The society is clean and clear from corruption. There is no such thing as a social ladder or a "social status". Everyone is equal and abide by the Shari'ah. Nobody questions the laws, it is natural for them to just live this way, the way Allah planned. The media does not control the people, but the people control the media. The Western world does not control the people, only Allah is the One Controller. The Muslims who live in this community believe that Islam is the way of life, and not just a religion. The Muslims truly believe that without The Qur'an, there is no way to live. The Muslims truly believe in justice, equality, and peace. Everything is halal and done properly and in the name of Allah. He is the Perfect Creator of mankind and The Muslims of this Ummah fear Allah and The Day of Judgement. Everyone fears Allah and their every thought, action, and speech is measured as if Allah was right in front of them, Watching them, Hearing them, and Knowing what the are doing. The beauty of true iman that illuminates from each Muslim leaves you speechless. The way this town operates you think to yourself, wow, is this really true?

If only there really was a town so clean and pure and precisely following the teachings of our dear Prophet Muhammad(saw). If only there was a town where all Muslims feared Allah as if He were right in front of us. If only there was a place that was not corrupt and run by man made governments causing nothing but harm in the world. If only there was such a place called "One Nation" where everyone united as one and lived their life the way Allah had Planned for mankind. If only we could make a difference in the world and spread Islam the way Prophet Muhammad (saw) did, then perhaps we would then be known as a true servant to Allah.

We would be known as servants of Allah living together in one Ummah, spreading Islam as one Ummah, loving one another as one Ummah and working under one Ruler and that Ruler is Our Creator, Allah. We would be living in a world called, Tawheed.

Monday, August 22, 2011

A Lollipop Unwrapped.

'And Say to the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bossoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim women) (i.e. sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful' (24:31)

See the lollipop that is covered?
Compare that to a western woman flaunting her "goods" and then to a modest humbled Muslimah concealing her "goods".

"Why do they cover their beauty with that thing?"
"Aren't they hot in that?"
"Why do they cover up like that?"
"They must hate their religioin because they are forced to wear that thing"
"Whats that long robe thingie ?"

My sisters in Islam, please forgive me but I used to be among those who asked such ignorant questions and made such assumptions about the hijab. I never knew what the hijab was for and since I couldn't really formulate my own opinion I would just believe what anybody told me about Muslims. As I mentioned before, I had no idea that Muslims were the ones who practised Islam nor did I know what Islam really was. I didn't think past the "head thingies" as I was too self-absorbed and cared too much about what I looked like instead of what others looked like, WOW! Could you only imagine what kind of person I used to be before I came to Islam?

Most of you have already read my "Journey to Islam" story, where I described myself to have been extremely selfish, haughty, and ignorant. I can't believe the way I used to think and I thank Allah for the guidance. I definitely needed it, but you would be surprised (or maybe not) , to know that the majority of the Torontonians are still in their own little 'clouded bubble' (SEE POST "which catergory do you fit under"). Luckily, my bubble popped and now I am back into the world able to see clearly.

So, I'm sure most of you have been wondering how my first hijab experience was like. I gave myself a time frame, I was planning on sporting the hijab when I was "ready" and I had planned for it to be a month later I became Muslim. But of course, Allah is the Best of Planners and He knows best and I actually started wearing the hijab a week and a half after I became Muslim!

The hijab was definitely something I had to get used to!! I was always used to leaving my hair up in a ponytail or in a hairband so when I had to cover my hair and head completely, I was a bit nervous.
I actually was self conscious and worried what others would think! The hijab made me sweat and it felt very uncomfortable. It often made me frustrated when I couldn't keep it on properly and my hair would keep showing! The first few attempts, I failed miserably, but as the weeks progressed I learnt how to put it on properly and finally, Alhamdulilah I have mastered it :) !

There were times I wanted to give up and just stay at home to avoid going out at all costs! But I remembered the number one reason why I was wearing the hijab. It was to represent my trust and my faith in Allah. It was to hide my beauty and be a modest and humbled Muslimah. I was representing one of Allah's servants and I should be thankful that he chose me to walk in his straight path!
After constant reminders and struggles with my nafs, I won.
I love the hijab so much, I can't picture myself without it.
I feel honoured when I step out into the world with my hijab on as it represents true respect and love for Islam.

My hijab speaks for me and it says " Because I am a Muslimah!"
I would feel utterly naked if I didn't wear my hijab and when I see others who show their "goods" and flaunt them around carelessly, I thank Allah that I am now amongst billions who have chosen to wear the hijab with true pride and sincere dignity. I am not oppressed nor do I feel depressed when I wear my hijab. I look at the "bling bling whores" in the media today showing off their "goods" and think about the lollipop with no wrapper and with all the dirty flies flying around. Would I rather be like that? Or would I rather be respected for being a woman covered properly with butterflies flying around me?

I respect myself so much more now and I feel that because I am in a state where the Muslim population is almost close to none, it is my means of dawah. The hijab is my secret strategy to let others know that the hijab isn't just for "Arabs" or "Indians" but the hijab is for all women, every woman all over the world who believe that there is no God but one God and that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is the last messenger.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

QUESTION OF THE DAY : What is true beauty to you?

I would really like all Muslims and non-Muslims to respond to this question.

What constitutes as true beauty to you?
What do YOU find most beautiful in a human being?

Please share. I would love to see the point of views from others!


"Surely the men who submit and the women who submit, and the believing men and the believing women, and the obeying men and the obeying women, and the truthful men and the truthful women, and the patient men and the patient women and the humble men and the humble women, and the almsgiving men and the almsgiving women, and the fasting men and the fasting women, and the men who guard their private parts and the women who guard, and the men who remember Allah much and the women who remember-- Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a mighty reward."[33.35]

I was washing the dishes just now and had a random thought processing through my head. Could I stand the thought of not continuing to fast after the month of Ramadhan?

The answer was a quick and simple, NO.

I was THE most impatient person I knew. I would get angry, upset, and heated at the light of a switch. This terrible characteristic led me to be very short with people and extremely rude. My impatience made me outspoken and I was often "let go" from my jobs because I just didn't have the patience for dealing with people. Shame on me! I would push and shove others on the subway, I would breathe loudly and kiss my teeth when I had to wait in line for something, and I was extremely rude to my parents when I didn't feel like talking. Of course, as a Muslim now, I know that all these terrible flaws were part of my misguidance and lack of knowledge in "common courtesy".

I began changing slowly when I started reading about Islam, I learned that Muslims are very patient and kind. The greater the challenge, the greater humility.
I thought this to be something that I wanted to take on, and knew that being impatient was extremely unattractive. It took me about 3 months to learn about patience, and four months and counting to practice being patient. Being patient is not something you can master right way, it takes time and skill and perseverance.

Enter fasting. Fasting is by far another great gift from Allah. I started fasting the month after I became Muslim, mainly to begin my "purifying" process. I noticed many things since I started this fasting "detox".

I am now MUCH more patient with the small, medium, big things:

- I don't yell at my computer when it's lagging
- I don't pull on my hair hard when the knots don't come out
- I don't throw things around if they fall after I picked it up twice
- I can talk to my parents without yelling or being rude
- I can wait at the self-checkout at the grocery store (but after 10 minutes and still not being able to scan an item, I move onto the regular checkout! Still working on this one!)
- I don't sigh loudly, kiss my teeth, or mutter under my breath when things don't happen in my favour
- Waiting to break my fast has become a less difficult task as once was
- I am patient with strangers and smile when instead they are glaring at me with confusion
- I enjoy doing the dishes now
- I am STARTING to enjoy cleaning
- I don't get upset or angry at how my hijab looks because I can put it on properly now (Alhamdulilah!)
- I am starting to build a stronger foundation for what Allah has in store for me ( I pray that He may make things easier for me in this crazy dunya)
- I am not complaining about the heat as much. As I often wonder, if this is hot than how will The Day of Judgement be like?

The most important thing I have learned (and am still learning) to be patient with, is that, I don't get bothered or annoyed or as impatient than I once was with the thought of life and which direction I am headed in. I am patient and accepting that this life will be full of trials and errors and tests that my Creator, Allah has written for me. I am patient with the days that go by, and whenever I feel a bit of the shaitan trying to take over with that terrible flaw I once had, I ask Allah to help me with my guidance and I ask him to guide me with patience and adversity in all tasks, from small to big.

I must say, it's working!
Perhaps you should continue to fast after Ramadhan and you will notice the difference. Not only with developing more patience, but also in developing a more purified heart.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Many questions have arisen since I converted to Islam. I've been asked many times, "Why do you pray 5 times a day?" , "Why do you pray so much?" , and " What does it do for you?"

Well firstly, not just me but Muslims pray 5 times a day (which is the bare minimum!)
It is MANDATORY and is part of the 5 pillars of Islam.
If you want to be Muslim, get ready to pray my friends!

Now here is something different about my blog, I will include two points of views.
Though I am not a non-Muslim anymore, I used to be one. Therefore, I had my stereotypes and curiosities just like everyone else. I will try to include, for the most part, the curiosities of a NON-Muslim and a Muslim point of view. That way we can all get a better understanding and have no room for misunderstandings :) InshAllah (God Willing).

Ok so let's get started, shall we?

- To be honest with you, I didn't think much of Islam and I had NO IDEA that women wearing hijabs were Muslim! Shame on me! I didn't even know they prayed 5 times a day and I had no clue what they prayed to or who they prayed to. At least some non-Muslims know they "kiss the ground 5 times a day", I didn't even know this! The word "Allah" I thought was one of the many gods like the Hindus have (ASTGHFURALLAH - Forgive me Allah). I also had no idea what the Qur'an was and what was inside.
As you can see, I was absolutely clueless and had no knowledge whatsoever of Islam.
sisters taking time from shopping to pray!

Now here is what I have learnt as a Muslim!


I worship one God and one God only, no other deities and I also bare witness that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is the last messenger.

When I need questions answered, I know I can always seek Allah for help.

I was put on this earth by one Creator and ONE Creator only, that is Allah (God in Arabic), I submit to my Creator and Worship him and remembering Him 5 times a day, that if it were not for Him, I would not be alive on this earth today.

I am thankful for my sight, my hearing, my tongue, my health, and my beauty. Who gave me all these things? Allah The Almighty. By showing my appreciation and being given the opportunity to thank Him, I pray to him and submit.

I know the only One who knows how I truly feel, what I truly think, and what is truly in my heart, is Allah. The times I pray to Him, is my time to be closer to Him.

 I seek refuge and forgiveness in Him. No church or priest or minister can wipe away my sins. No confession booth will make me a better person. I pray directly to Allah and Allah only, He is All Knowing, All Hearing, Most Merciful.

It brings me peace and tranquility knowing that MY Creator and the Creator of the heavens and the earth is always with me and I put my trust in Him to keep me away from the bad and bring me closer to the good.

Prostrating before Allah is the most beautiful form of submission. It is an act full of humility and humbleness. Remembering Allah in all the movements we are taught to worship Him with, make you feel peaceful and spiritually satisfied bringing you closer to your Creator.

It is food for my heart, soul, and mind.

It helps me stay grounded and focused when I come home from a day out in this temporary, distracted, corrupt world we live in. It reminds me that I am a slave to Allah, and not a slave to shaitan (the devil) and his ways (i.e. media, music, sinful acts)


I know at the exact prescribed time, somewhere, everywhere, another Muslim is praying to Allah and remembering Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and how he tried so hard to unite the Ummah (community) to be ONE NATION.

JazakAllah Kheyr (May Allah reward you for your good deeds)

Picture this.

Here is an exercise for you.
Observe everything around you right now.
The colours of your room. The images on your computer. The bright sunshine. The darkness of the night.

Ok. now close your eyes for 10 seconds. Now keep them closed for 60 more seconds. Try to keep them closed for as long as you can.

Could you keep your eyes closed for more than 5 minutes before you wanted to open them?

Now really think hard about what I am about to say next. Try to really picture this in your mind.

Imagine that this would be the last time you could see.
That if you tried opening your eyes, all you could see was darkness, pitch blackness, nothing at all.
All the things around you are nothing but distant memories in your mind now.

The thought of not being able to see must be frightening. The thought of not being able to walk to the bathroom without worrying about your safety is frightening. The thought of never being able to watch your children grow up is frightening. The thought of not being able to go shopping and buy "nice, beautiful things" is frightening. The thought of not being able to look at your nice car or take it for a drive is frightening. Isn't?

How about not being able to watch the sunrise before FAJR prayer, or watch the sunset after MAGHRIB prayer? The thought of not being able to turn the page to read the next surah in the Qur'an is frightening. The thought of not being able to see your husbands beautiful smile is frightening. Not being able to recite the Qur'an without looking at the beautiful Arabic scripture that Allah has provided for is SO frightening.

Could you imagine, you close your eyes for a few seconds and that will be the last moment you will ever see the beauty of the world ever again.

The beautiful colours of the flowers that Allah has created.
The beautiful brightness of the sun that Allah has created.
The beautiful green leaves of the trees that Allah has created.
The beautiful blue skies and white clouds that Allah has created.
The beautiful smile of your children.
The beautiful wrinkles on your face.

The beautiful colour of your prayer mat Allah has created for you when you prostrate.
The beautiful Arabic text of the Qur'an that Allah has bestowed upon for mankind.
The beautiful mosques that Allah has created for us.
The beautiful life that Allah has created for you and me.

Take a minute of your time each and every day to thank Your Creator for giving you the ability to see what the blind can't see. Don't take advantage of your sight for you never know when Allah will take it away from you.

Don't forget!

This is so funny!

A request

Since becoming Muslim, I have been writing much about life through my eyes as a Muslim. Yes, this is a good thing but I did promise to deliver to my non-Muslim readers about life through my eyes when I was not yet a Muslim.

In my "Journey to Islam" story I did go into lengths about what brought me to Islam, but I feel that there is more to be added. There are things I want to share about my daily struggles before I came to Islam that many people in the Western society face today.

I always longed for the closeness with my family, but most Western families these days are often very secluded to themselves. Take my parents for example, I am an only child and have no grandparents and for my parents to have to call on their brother or sisters to help them out with something, is like pulling four wisdom teeth out at the same time. I feel like a complete stranger with my family and this was even before I became Muslim. Perhaps it is the "Western" way I was brought up. My parents originally are from Hong Kong but immigrated to Canada some odd 35 years ago, so they are pretty Canadian. I was always so lonely as a child and I was alone quite often.

When I was maybe around 6 or 7 a memory comes back to life.

I was sitting in the back seat of the car on the way back home from playing at my friend's house and I asked my parents " How come I can see what my friends are doing when I am with them, but I can't see what they are doing when I am away from them?" Now this question coming from a 6-year-old though sounds like words of a curious child, also sound like words of wisdom. How come at this young age I was already asking questions about God?
If you are wondering why I refer this question to God, it's because He Sees, Hears, Knows All that we do not. He is The Knower of The Unseen. So for me to ponder such a thought at this age, my heart was already searching for the truth.

I often did a lot of talking and playing by myself as I was not always allowed to go outside and play with the other kids because of my parents who were overprotective. This brings me back to my point about the wishes of being closer to my family. I never showed much affection to my parents as I was raised not to. To this day, I find it so awkward to hug my mom or my dad. I was raised also, to worry mainly about getting a good education so I can succeed and make money. That was the most important thing to my parents. It was never about being happy and content with yourself and with your life. Their rule for success was that money buys happiness and nice material things.
I never believed this to be true. I, unlike most of my family, have a spiritual soul. A soul that seeks for contentment in the detailed things in life, a soul that seeks for love and affection from human beings, a soul that seeks for God.

The struggle to be close to my family brought me to be close to my friends instead. I am a very social individual by nature, though I was often secluded in my room most of my years in high school, I was openly social with everyone in school. By this I mean, I was not part of a "clique" like many people are these days. I never had a close group of friends but just a general group of friends. But of course, I always wanted to be like "that group"who were inseparable. You know those groups of girls who have pictures from high school together and then who have pictures of their weddings and kids together? I was definitely never a part of this either.
I struggled to look for a place to belong but couldn't find it through friends, hence why all the friends I've had in my lifetime are no longer my friends. Except for one. She is the only friend, though non-Muslim, accepts me for everything I am and never judges nor complains. Can you imagine, 20 odd years of my life, I met many people and only ONE remains my good friend despite everything I have been through.

I know for many individuals living in Western society, true friendship is almost as hard to find as a diamond in the desert. Many people are selfish, ignorant, and arrogant. The three worse attributes that I once carried heavily. I am still cleansing my soul from this and I ask God to help bring more light into my heart and soul so I can rid of the toxins I once possessed.

Being Muslim really opens my eyes up to friendship and it's true meaning.
Friendship should not be based on "I'm there for you so be there for me." Nor should it be based on "she likes to go shopping, or partying so let me call her"(for the Western society individuals).

Friendship is a sisterhood. A relationship with a arms wide open policy. A relationship where you will never be judged, but always accepted and welcomed like you are part of the family. To my amazement which I am still adjusting to, is exactly what Islam is about. True sisterhood. I find my struggle to build my sisterhood lighten, as I am always welcomed by my dear sisters in Islam. From twittering with sisters I have never met, to sisters I meet at the masjid(mosques), to my sisters I met at a conference in Toronto, I finally belong and am part of a family that I never was a part of. Though, I still am looking to unite more and more sisters together to celebrate our uniqueness and love for Islam, I have started with this blog.
You know, before I became Muslim, I did a lot of browsing on blogs and websites about Islam, and I thank all those who made such great websites full of knowledge and support to non-Muslims, so I really want to pass on their good deeds, and hope that this will help others who are curious, and seeking the truth.

I really can't express to you how much I have struggled with being accepted in this Western society. From constantly changing identities, mentalities, friends, lifestyles to struggling to feel close to someone who knows me better than myself, who knows what I am thinking, and who will always be there for me. I finally found light at the end of my struggle. I found Islam, Islam found me. I found God, and God chose to direct me back on the right path so I could feel like I belong in this crazy temporary world called 'Life'.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Smile and be happy!

Qur'an Verse of the day.

" And He it is who causes gardens to grow, [both] trellised and untrellised, and palm trees and crops of different [kinds of] food and olives and pomegranates, similar and dissimilar. Eat of [ each of] its fruit when it yields and give its due [zakat] on the day its harvest. And be not excessive. Indeed, He does not like those who commit excess" [Al- An'am 6:141]

How beautiful! SubhanAllah. This beautiful quote is perfect for our month of Ramadhan as it explains the different foods that Allah has grown for us. The importance is also that of giving zakat as well and do not be greedy for it is forbidden to not share the food Allah has blessed for you amongst others, especially to those in need.
Also, do not be of excess with food and as well other things in this temporary life.
If we can continue to live by the verses sent down to us by Our Creator, we will succeed in this temporary life as well as The Hereafter.

On a lighter note....

Before I became Muslim, I never wanted to get married. The thought of being "tied down" as the Westerners call it these days, was something I did not want to be! Marriage in the Western world has been outlined such that you have to make sure that you date long enough to know if he or she is "the one", you have to be financially stable before you can "settle down", and you have to make sure that there is enough alcohol served at your wedding. Though there are many more that I could list, these are the top IMPORTANT factors to a Westernized marriage.

I was born and raised in Toronto, Ontario where the city has become so overpopulated by materialism, unfaithfulness in all aspects, and polytheism. It is no wonder that when it comes to marriage, it is almost close to impossible to find a mate that would be forever grateful, loyal, and devoted til "death do us part."

Now enter marriage in Islam.
Marriage in Islam described by Allah in the Qur'an as this :

"O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah , through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer." [ An-Nisa 4:1]

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . .)" [Ar-Rum 30:21]

"And whoever among you cannot [find] the means to marry free, believing women, then [he may marry] from those whom your right hands possess of believing slave girls. And Allah is most knowing about your faith. You [believers] are of one another. So marry them with the permission of their people and give them their due compensation according to what is acceptable. [They should be] chaste, neither [of] those who commit unlawful intercourse randomly nor those who take [secret] lovers. But once they are sheltered in marriage, if they should commit adultery, then for them is half the punishment for free [unmarried] women. This [allowance] is for him among you who fears sin, but to be patient is better for you. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful." [An-Nisa 4:25]

"It is He who created you from one soul and created from it its mate that he might dwell in security with her. And when he covers her, she carries a light burden and continues therein. And when it becomes heavy, they both invoke Allah , their Lord, "If You should give us a good [child], we will surely be among the grateful.""[Al-A'raf 7:189]

These beautiful verses from the Qur'an deliver the ultimate guidance on marriage.
A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah The Almighty can give to a man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living. With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquility and pleasure.

It is mentioned in a Hadith:
"A woman came to ask the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He asked her, “How are you with him?” She said, “I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me.” He said, “Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.”

The importance of this Hadith is that the way you treat your husband is extremely important. Your destiny on Judgement Day could easily be determined by how you treat your husband.
A righteous wife never falls short of :

- She is obedient to her husband and shows him respect 
- She treats his mother and family with kindness and respect 
- She endears herself to her husband and is keen to please him 
- She does not disclose his secrets 
- She stands by him and offers her advice
- She encourages her husband to spend for the sake of Allah The Almighty
- She helps him to obey Allah
- She fills his heart with joy 
- She makes herself beautiful for him  
- She is cheerful and grateful when she meets him 
- She does not look at other men 
- She does not describe other women to him 
- She tries to create an atmosphere of peace and tranquility for him 
- She is tolerant and forgiving 
- She is strong in character and wise 
- She is one of the most successful wives    

Allah our Creator who is Most Gracious, Most Merciful, Most Beneficent is The One who has chosen for you your mate. He knows who is best for you and if you dare disobey or fall short of treating your husband any less than the mentioned above, than you are indeed mistreating and disobeying Allah. 
So for our married, engaged, looking to get married Muslimahs, make sure you have these things perfected !


Friday, August 12, 2011

Your Fear.

When or if we ever encountered this critter anywhere near us, our initial reaction would be to scream and run away with fear. Our hearts would be racing, pounding, and so afraid. 

 SubhanAllah, another one of Allah's great creations. So why would you fear Allah's creation and not Allah the Creator Himself?
He creates animals and insects that are venomous and lethal, He creates anything and everything we see on this earth today including YOU! 

So why do you not fear your very own Creator? Just like the fear you would have for this tarantula (though harmless), should be the fear you have for your Creator. Your heart should be racing with fear, your every action should be careful and fearful. You should be thinking in your mind, that if you dare commit a sin and disobey your Lord, Your Lord unlike this tarantula is not harmless and you will be punished severely .

Stats' on the Muslim population!

Major Religions of the World

Christian - 2,038,905,000 - 32% (dropping)
Roman Catholics - 1,076,951,000
Protestants - 349,792,000
Orthodox - 217,522,000
Anglicans - 81,663,000
Other - 537,135,000
Muslims - 1,226,403,000 - 21% (growing)
Hindus - 828,130,000 - 13% (stable)
Chinese folk religionists - 389,543,000 - 6%
Buddhists - 364,014,000 - 6% (stable)
Sikhs - 23,821,000 - < 1%
Jews - 14,535,000 - < 1%
According to the statictics of the U.N. 

World's Most Muslim Nations

The populations of the following countries are almost entirely Muslim (About 99.5% or more of the native populations, and nearly all of the foreign workers, are Muslim.) Listed alphabetically.
  • Bahrain
  • Comoros
  • Kuwait
  • Maldives
  • Mauritania
  • Mayotte
  • Morocco
  • Oman
  • Qatar
  • Somalia
  • Saudi Arabia
  • Tunisia
  • United Arab Emirates
  • Western Sahara
  • Yemen


Top 10 Largest National Muslim Populations

of Muslims
Indonesia 170,310,000
Pakistan 136,000,000
Bangladesh 106,050,000
India 103,000,000
Turkey 62,410,000
Iran 60,790,000
Egypt 53,730,000
Nigeria 47,720,000
China 37,108,000

U.S. States With Highest Proportion
of Muslims in the Population

New York 0.80%
California 0.60
New Jersey 0.60
Washington, D.C. 0.60
Illinois 0.40
Massachusetts 0.40
Ohio 0.40
Rhode Island 0.40

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Qur'an Verse of the day.

"O you who have believed, enter into Islam completely [and perfectly] and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy. "[Baqarah 2:208] 

This verse is self-explanatory.  Allah is telling us as a Muslim to practise Islam completely and perfectly and to fufil and maintain our five pillars (Shahada (declaring there is no god except One God and Prophet Muhammad is the last messenger),  Praying 5 times, Fasting, Zakat (charity), and Hajj (pilgrimage to Makkah)). Amongst these of course there are other obligations. 
If we maintain all these and stay away from the whisperings of shaitan then we will be granted into Paradise.

UK Violence, another sign.

"What are the causes of the violence?
Although the initial outbreak of violence was linked to racial tensions and the shooting death of Duggan, it appears there is no single cause. 

Some have pointed to unemployment, insensitive policing and widespread anger over the government's austerity budget, which will cut £80 billion ($129 billion) in public spending by 2015. 

Others appeared to simply revel in the violence. "Come join the fun," one youth was quoted as shouting in the east London suburb of Hackney. Others have reportedly used RIM's BlackBerry Messenger service to encourage people to join the unrest. 

British Prime Minister David Cameron said the riots were "criminality, pure and simple" and Nick Clegg, the country's deputy prime minister, said the violence was "opportunistic theft."
In an interview with the BBC, criminology professor John Pitts said riots are complex events and cannot be explained away as "just thuggery." 

Most of the protesters reportedly come from poorer communities, and poor socio-economic conditions have been fingered as a factor in the riots. 

"They have no career to think about. They are not 'us'," Pitts said. "They live out there on the margins, enraged, disappointed, capable of doing some awful things." 

London-based journalist Laurie Penny said in a blog post that "violence is rarely mindless," but is found in long-term resentment and disenfranchisement. Penny said it is easy to rush to quick, but incorrect, explanations for the looting. 

"The truth is that very few people know why this is happening," she wrote. 

"They don’t know, because they were not watching these communities. Nobody has been watching Tottenham since the television cameras drifted away after the Broadwater Farm riots," she wrote, referring to similar violence that erupted in Tottenham 26 years ago."
excerpt from

Though I don't watch television or listen to the news, it's amazing what twitter can do!
I have been updated through the worldy events by twitter, and I found out what was happening in the UK. It saddens me of course, but also proves the Qur'an to be yet once again accurate in it's words. Each and every day, more violence is happening throughout the world. The events that are taking place in Tottenham is a clear sign that the world is indeed coming to end. Of course only Allah knows when.
I wish somehow I could speak out and make a difference and help these lost, confused, troubled souls who are slaves of shaitan.

But who am I, just one Chinese Muslimah amongst billions of people.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Qur'an Verse of the day.

"And fear for a trial which will not strike those who have wronged among you exclusively, and know that Allah is severe in penalty." [ Surah al-Anfal 8:25]

SIDENOTE: "trial" i.e. an affliction or punishment during life upon this earth. When corruption spreads among a people, its consequences will affect everyone. As mentioned in the Qur'an

The Qur'an was revealed the period of approximately twenty-three years beginning in 610 CE when Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was forty, and concluding in 632 CE. The content in This Book seems to foretell the real events that are happening today.
I find it absolutely miraculous that the words of Allah are proven to be happening today.
InshAllah I will be sharing more with you about the things I learn as I read more of the Qur'an !

Though, I am sure for most Muslims this is not new news to you, but do keep in mind, I once was absorbed by the world we live in today, and important issues were never a favorite of mine! But Alas! It is now :)