Wednesday, December 24, 2014

My hardship.

 “And when an affliction touches a man, he calls Us (while reclining) on his side, or sitting, or standing. But when We remove from him his affliction, he passes on, as if he never called Us to an affliction that touched him. Thus is made fair seeming to the extravagant that which they have been doing.” (Qur'an 10:12)

When everything is going well and we are getting everything we need, we tend to forget about Allah. It may not necessarily be on purpose, but because we are so consumed with the things from the dunya, we forget that Allah is the One who gives us everything that we need in the first place. Sometimes we forget to be thankful and grateful, until when calamity strikes....

It is usually the case that when something happens in our lives, something that happens out of our comfort zone then we turn to Allah asking Him for Help.  We do not realize the blessings we have until Allah afflicts us with hardship and trials. 

Lately, I have been writing a lot about trials and hardships because I am going through them right now. Alhamdulillah for these tests that really help me see just how weak I am physically and mentally. I thought that my emaan was strong and my tawakkul was firm. I thought my worship was fine until Allah inflicted me with this difficulty. It made me realise that my emaan is not so strong, my tawakkul is weak and my worship is lax. Things that I used to take for granted have now become so difficult for me to do. Things that I thought would always be easy for me, are now a struggle. Every day has become a struggle and this trial is something that has really opened my eyes. I realise that I am not doing enough. I realise that I have become complacent with my worship and that I am just doing things based on routine. I had been so busy with worrying and stressing over "what if this or that happened" that I slowly started losing tawakkul in my Lord.

I remember when I first became Muslim and how I was so excited about the deen and I was so passionate about connecting with my Creator and my trust in Him was so strong and my emaan was high. As time passed, I began to feel less connected with Allah and I was wondering what happened to those feelings I once had. It is truly a blessing that I am experiencing these trials and I know that there is a lot of kheyr in this and it is Allah's Way of bringing me closer to Him. 

I feel that I have become heedless all this time and this is my chance to reconnect and strengthen that feeling I had lost. Though these trials are extremely hard to mentally overcome, I feel that it is Allah's Way of helping me get through the barrier of complacency. I am realising that every day is a blessing. I am also saddened for letting my worship become a routine and letting my fear for Allah become more than my love for Him. I realise that my Hope in Allah is not where it should be and I realise just how ungrateful I truly am. Please keep me in your duaas if you are reading this, that Allah helps me overcome this hardship and grants me shifaa and ease and may I never be heedless again. ameen) 

I hope this lesson will always be a reminder to myself and a reminder to you. We often strive to chase this dunya and we always ask Allah to help us get whatever it is we want. We worry so much about the things in this dunya that we often forget that the purpose of this life is to strive for the Akhirah. We ask Allah for more than we deserve and yet He still Gives! We become heedless and forgetful about the smallest of blessings (like our health). I never realised how important health is until I was afflicted with hardship. It made me realise that we really take everything for granted from being able to wake up in the morning and look out your window from being able to make wudhu and feel the water on your skin. Subhana'Allah, the Mercy of Allah is ENDLESS!  I just wanted to write post because I want to share my experience and what I have learnt through this hardship.
Always be grateful for the Blessings of your Lord! Even though they may not seem much to you (because by default we just love to compare ourselves to others astughfurAllah) the blessings we have are too many! Be thankful and grateful and you will never be sad or depressed. What I have learnt through all this is that as long as you have your deen and your health then nothing else in this temporary world should matter. Subhana'Allah ...if you don't have sound health and a clear mind, nothing else matters at ALL!!! So be thankful Allah has blessed us with the guidance of Islam for others look for guidance and happiness their whole life but some never find it and die as a disbeliever (may Allah protect us all from such a calamity). Be thankful you have your youth and your health and that Allah can take away this at any given moment. What a big lesson for me. I was taking advantage of my health and every little thing I used to do on a daily basis has now become a struggle! Allah is the Greatest. It just shows how weak we are and how we should never take advantage of this huge blessing and we should never EVER complain about anything!

“. . . then when (Sulaiman (Solomon)) saw it placed before him, he said: “This is by the Grace of my Lord to test me whether I am grateful or ungrateful! And whoever is grateful, truly, his gratitude is for (the good of) his own self, and whoever is ungrateful, (he is ungrateful only for the loss of his own self). Certainly! My Lord is Rich (Free of all wants), Bountiful” 
[Qur'an 27: 40]

We should always be hastening to repent to Allah for our countless sins that we commit knowingly and unknowingly every single day! Our sins pile up and then our hearts darken with heedlessness and disease and then we forget our Lord. This is truly the greatest calamity we can go through. We should repent before its too late...and I know it is cliche and we always hear "submit to Allah before its too late" ...I want to tell you sincerely from my heart, repenting and obeying Allah will only benefit you in the long run and we really need to do it before our health runs out. Be thankful for everything and remember Allah can so easily take it away anything and everything from you! Be thankful when in times of ease and be thankful when in the times of hardship.

It was narrated that ‘Aishah said: When the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) prayed, he would stand for so long that his feet became swollen. ‘Aishah said: O Messenger of Allah, are you doing this when Allah has forgiven your past and future sins? He said: “O ‘Aishah, should I not be a thankful slave?” 
Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim. 

Always remember that everything happens by the Will and Mercy of Allah the Almighty. He says BE and it IS ! So just remember that the tests and trials that come our way are only to help purify us and to help build us into someone better and more obedient. Allah loves us otherwise He would just leave us to the shaitan ad destroy us like He has with those mentioned in the Qur'an ! Never think for a second Allah does not love us because it is only that He does that He truly tests us to see which one of us is true to Him !!! Subhana'Allah ! 

May Allah help us all through these times of difficulty and may we never become heedless during times of ease and comfort! Alhamdulillah for everything and may Allah protect us all from trials and calamities which we can not handle! ameen.  

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Who am I to judge?

 "O you who believe! stand out firmly for Allah, as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred of any people make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do. " [Sûrah al-Mâ'idah: 8] 

A really important topic that I most definitely need to address is the one that we all commit with or without knowing! For most of us, it comes naturally and it is only after we realise it, that we must remind ourselves that what we are doing is not right! I am talking about judging others. Many of us do it and again, I am no exception. 

In fact, I was brought up in a culture that did nothing but judge. Judged the amount of wealth you had, judged one based on their waist size, judged one by their abilities so on and so forth. I really can't blame people for judging but I do not encourage it either. Living in a Western society where media often promotes "bigger, richer, stronger" to its people, we are programmed to compete with each other and look down on others if they do not have something that we have. The media dictates to us that being the best requires one to have the top most luxurious brands in the world and if you are rich, then you are successful and everybody wants to be friends with the successful. We can't just be happy for people, we need to judge them. We are taught to have a sense of selfishness and that we are BETTER than everyone because we have something they don't have.

The (modern) Chinese culture is very materialistic and based mainly on status and wealth. They judge you based on what you have and don't have and they love to gossip about it behind your back. I never liked the Chinese culture and I always tried so hard to stay as far away from it as possible. But because of family members, it was hard to stay away from this mentality even if I tried. Judging people just turns you into a shallow human being who is closed-minded and selfish. Judging people will never make you grow as an individual because you are too busy worrying about putting other people down! If we keep judging people and forgetting to worry about ourselves, then we will never succeed as an Ummah! 

Alhamdulillah for Islam, which has taught and continues to teach us how to live life as a good human being. Our beautiful deen always teaches us to focus on how to better ourselves and to learn how to follow the manners of the prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Getting rid of old bad habits is something that we all should strive to do, especially if it causes harm between you and your sisters and family! 

So, the reason why I wanted to write about this subject is that it was something that I had really fallen into and I wanted to share with everyone how it destroyed me and was making me into someone that I really did not like to be. I became Muslim to exit out of all the bad habits but I found myself naturally falling into judging others. It started off with these reminders from the Qur'an and Sunnah : 

“You (true believers in Islamic Monotheism, and real followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah) are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained) and forbid Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden), and you believe in Allaah” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:110] 

 The Prophet (peace and blessing
be upon him) said:  if one sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; and if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by feeling that it is wrong] – and ths of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever among youat is the weakest of faith.” (Narrated by Muslim, 49) 

“The Prophet(SAW) said, (three times), “The Religion is naseeha (sincerity and sincere advice).” We said, “To whom?” He said, “To Allaah, His Book, His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and the general people.”  [Saheeh Muslim No.55] 

and it began with pure intentions to really enjoin the good and forbid the evil. I really wanted others to be aware of their sins and faults so that they could change for the sake of Allah. I am sure that most of us begin with these intentions (and try to stick to them) but there is an art and etiquette on giving advice without seeming judgmental. I would worry about judging others while forgetting myself and my own sins. This can come off as arrogant (audhubillah) and definitely the person whom you are advising will not pay any attention to your words. I thought that I was doing something right but I later realised, because of all the negative feedback I was getting (from people who did not know how to advise either! lol) I knew that this way was not correct and it did not bring love amongst me and my sisters (for the sake of Allah) and I was not respected because I was not respecting others. I felt in my heart, this was not correct and I didn't want to continue like this because it could be potentially earning the Wrath of Allah (Audhubillah!) 

Alhamdulillah, Allah guided me to the correct understandings and I realised I needed to make many changes (hence why I stopped blogging for a long time). It really made me into an ugly soul and I really felt that this is not what Islam teaches. This is not the Muslim that prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) tried to be. I made excuses that I was allowed to be harsh because he (peace and blessings be upon him) would be harsh to some of his companions and to the people when it called for it! ! 

We really need to be careful and mindful on how to give our sisters advice, without coming off as arrogant. We should not abandon them either! And we should never call them kafirs and treat them like one (astughfurAllah!) as this is forbidden in Islam! 

1732. Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) said: The Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "When a person calls his brother (in Islam) a disbeliever, one of them will certainly deserve the title. If the addressee is so as he has asserted, the disbelief of the man is confirmed, but if it is untrue, then it will revert to him.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Just because they sin openly or privately, it does not give us the right to call them kafirs. How do you know what is in their hearts? What if they have repented over and over to Allah and they are struggling so hard to change their ways? That is for Allah to Know and for us to leave! If we see a sister who wears too much makeup and she is advertising her beauty online, we should keep her in our duaas and advise her gently in private. She may not take heed initially, but it may get around to her eventually. Maybe your good manners will speak to her and she will consider what you have said! I know for a fact that most of these sisters get a LOT of hateful, rude, judgmental  comments on a daily basis and if those comments really worked as advice, then they would obviously stop what they were doing ! These judgemental comments can even cause a sister with weak faith to leave Islam completely (audhubillah!!!!!!) Of course, I do not support tabarruj (beautifying oneself in public for non-mahram) in any way, shape or form (as you all know lol) but I also do not think that being harsh and being a keyboard warrior would help either. They are still our sisters in Islam and WE TOO started somewhere. We were not perfect with hijab or niqab when we first became Muslim and even if we were, it does not give us the right to look down on others because they do not dress the same way as us. We all had that one sister who helped us along our journey and who never judged us, why not reciprocate for the sake of Allah and be that sister ? Maybe these ignorant sisters are just looking for a friend who does not judge them with everything and who is just looking for support!

I never truly understood "every body is at different levels of faith" until I came across some sisters who were extremely kind and even though could improve on their outward appearance, they still believed in the Oneness of Allah and were trying their best to be a good Muslim. So until I actually came across sisters who may not outwardly show their dedication, they still had better character than I did! 

O you who have believed, when you went forth in the cause of Allah, investigate; and do not say to one who gives you [a greeting of] peace, “you are not a believer,” aspiring for the goods of worldly life; for with Allah are many acquisitions. You [yourselves] were like that before, then Allah conferred His favor upon you, so investigate. Indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted. (Suratul Nisaa: 94) 

Everybody starts somewhere and at the end of the day we are judged according to our own deeds. So wouldn't it be better to be judged for being kind and gentle to our sisters in Islam rather than being judgmental and rude? Another problem I noticed is that we all (and I am included) like to judge who is more righteous and knowledgeable than others! A lot of us judge each other based on the length of their beard (or no beard, and  lets not forget some men are not able to grow facial hair as easy as others, like my dad!), the colour of hijab, the niqab style etc...Just because one wears the niqab or has a beard DOES NOT mean that they are more righteous or religious. I have seen with my own eyes on many social networks, sisters in niqab claiming they are "salafi", mock others and post things that have explicit language ! So you can not judge someone just because of their outer appearance and claim them to be more righteous just because of the way they dress! And lets not forget the ones who claim they are more on the Sunnah than others! Many put others down because they think they have more knowledge than others. Knowledge is a BLESSING from Allah and we should be humble with it and never use it to flaunt to others because just as easily as Allah gave it to us, He can take it away. I will not go into full detail with this one because insha'Allah I want to dedicate an entire post on this issue! But I think we must be very careful in judging others just because they don't do certain acts of worship the way you do! Again, every one will be judged according to their own deeds and and surely, Allah is the One who knows who is righteous and who is not! 

Verily, your Lord knows better, who (among men) has gone astray from His Path, and He knows better those who are guided. (Surah Qalam:7)

Subhan'Allah this Hadith pretty much sums up everything about WHY we should not judge others. 
Narrated Abu Hurairah رضي الله عن ه: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (ﷺ) say: “There were two men among Banee Israa’eel, who were striving for the same goal. One of them would commit sin and the other would strive to do his best in the world. The man who exerted himself in worship continued to see the other in sin. He would say: ‘Refrain from it.’ One day he found him in sin and said to him: ‘Refrain from it.’ He (the other man) said: ‘Leave me alone with my Lord. Have you been sent as a watchman over me?’ He (the first man) said: ‘I swear by Allaah, Allaah will not forgive you, nor will he admit you to Paradise.’ Then their souls were taken back (by Allaah), and they met together with the Lord of the worlds.
He (Allaah تعالى) said to this man who had striven hard in worship; {Had you knowledge about Me or had you power over that which I had in My hand?} He said to the man who sinned: {Go and enter Paradise by My mercy.} He said about the other: {Take him to Hell.}”
Abu Hurairah said رضي الله عنه: By Him in Whose hand my soul is, he spoke a word by which this world and the next world of his were destroyed.
[Sunan Abu Dawood (4901) and graded as “Saheeh” by Shaikh al-Albaanee]

I can't stress this enough, but our Ummah is becoming more and more divided because we are becoming more and more judgmental. YES , we should not mix with everybody (i.e- the extremist sects who's shirk and extremism brings them outside the folds of Islam) but we should not abandon those who dress differently or do things differently because we should be the ones helping them and trying to show them that they are still our sisters in Islam and we should maintain respect and kindness among each other! We should try our best to think good of our sisters in Islam and we should not be judging them and making them feel uncomfortable. It will not please Allah and it is something that causes division and we are in a time now where we should be sticking together and helping each other. Islam is being criticized too much and we are not doing anything to show that Islam is the perfect religion! If we claim that we follow the Qu'ran and Sunnah then we really should start acting like it insha'Allah! We need to STOP judging one another, focus on working on our own selves and remembering that Allah will judge us all according to our own deeds. If you want to advise a sister, do it with kindness and wisdom and try to put yourself in their shoes. How would you like to be advised?  

the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “Avoid suspicion, for suspicion is the greatest of lies in talk and do not be inquisitive about one another and do not spy upon one another and do not feel envy of one another, and nurse no malice, and nurse no aversion and hostility against one another. And be fellow-brothers and servants of Allah.” (Sahih Muslim, No: 2563)

May Allah grant me the ability to take my own advice and put it into practice and may He continue to guide us all and give us the ability to follow the proper teachings of our prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) AMEEN!! 

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Don't let it be too late!

" By Al-Asr (the time).Verily! Man is in loss. Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth (i.e. order one another to perform all kinds of good deeds which Allah has ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which Allah has forbidden), and recommend one another to patience."
 (Al-Asr 103:1-3)
Something that we all take for granted in our every day lives is the very thing that we should be grateful for. Time. So many of us, me included of course, forget that the time Allah subhanahu wa ta a'la has given us, is something that we should cherish and make good use of. It is something that we should be using to our advantage and being thankful for. Time is what we should be using so that we can increase in our good deeds and our remembrance of Allah. We should be using our time wisely and we should be very mindful of not wasting time. 

Should I not inform you of the best of deeds, and the most sanctifying of deeds before your Lord, which does more to raise your positions (with Him), and is better for you than the disbursement of gold and money, or battle with the enemy?” They (the companions) said: “Indeed inform us.” He (SAW) then said: “Remembrance of Allah.” [Narrated by At-Tirmidhi, 5/459; Ibn Maajah, 2/1245]

These are all the things we SHOULD be doing with our time but what do we really do with our time these days? One of my biggest weaknesses is being lazy and procrastinating (audhubillah!) These are the worst things to have as a weakness because you take your time and health for granted! A few months ago, I went through a personal health problem which I am still getting over. Alhamdulillah for everything and everything that happens is a test from Allah, but it really made me realise that I really took my time and health for granted! Sometimes I would go through moments that would make it so hard for me to function and do my daily activities that I take for granted! Subhana'Allah, it really made me realise just how weak I am and how much I need and rely on Allah. This experience really has been and continues to be an eye opener for me. (May Allah help me and remove this hardship from me . Ameen) It really makes me realize the hadith : 

"Take benefit of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death" (al-Hakim 4/306)

is something that hold a lot of truth and that we must really overcome our weakness of procrastination and laziness! Every moment we spend, should be spent remembering Allah the Almighty! We should be working hard in this dunya for things that will benefit our Akhirah! We should be spending time with those who will make us a better Muslimah and who will remind us about death and how we should hasten to do good before our live comes to an end. 

Ibn Abbas reports that the Prophet (saw) said "There are two blessings which many of the people lose: Health and Free time"(Bukhari 8/421)

Health and free time are the biggest blessings that Allah, the Almighty has given us! Could you imagine, even if we had all the money in the world but we had bad health and no free time? The money would be useless! Just as if we had the best job or the highest education degree but we were afflicted with bad health and no time? We would not be able to do anything! We waste so much time in chasing the dunya and we race with each other to compete for the "finer" things in this life but we forget that this dunya is only meant for us as a test. This dunya is meant for us to work hard and struggle so we can attain success in the Akhirah! 

“O Mankind, remember the favour of Allah upon you. Is there any creator other than Allah who provides for you from the heaven and the earth? There is no deity except Him, so how are you deluded?” [35:3] 

We must really remember the beautiful blessings that our Lord has given us! We do not want to regret the moments we spent on this earth. Being heedless of Allah's Commands and committing evil acts of disobedience and NOT being able to repent when comes the time of need! Let it not be too late before the Angel of death takes our soul and we are are not able to take back all our sins and heedlessness ! The worse thing in this world would to be to die upon carelessness and forgetfulness of Allah! We must take advantage of our own selves and use the blessings that Allah has blessed us with and use it for His Sake! 

“Until, when death comes to one of them, he says: “My Lord! Send me back so that I may do good in that which I have left behind” [23:99-100]

I just wanted to share this reminder with everyone including myself! Whenever I write these posts, it serves as a good reminder to myself first and foremost and I just share them with you, hoping that you too will benefit and take heed (insha'Allah !) Remember my DEEN QUEENS! Time on this earth is limited and nothing is ever guaranteed! We are only here temporarily and we should not make this dunya our biggest concern. I know that is easier said than done but we can try our best to take heed to Allah's Commands and try our best to win the race to Jannah! We are all in this together and we must always strive day after day to make sure that when we meet Allah, He will be Pleased with us! How we can be successful is by leaving out the things we KNOW waste time (i.e- watching television shows that we know are bad influences, listening to music that we know will blacken our hearts, and socializing with the opposite sex which we know will only lead to haram and heartbreaks) and how we can leave those things, is to replace them with things that will benefit our time in this dunya and the akhirah. Maybe you can pick up a hobby and try to take on some baking projects with some friends and family! Go for walks and enjoy the nature and start a scrapbook of your findings and include verses of the Qur'an that really speak to you about Allah's creations! Take up a new language! Start a blog! The possibilities are endless!! But as long as it helps you remember Allah and to get rid of the haram things that you know will waste your time then that is a beautiful start! 

For all my lazy procrastinators out there :p think about death often and always ask yourself "I could do that tomorrow, but what if I don't even live to see tomorrow? What if I were to return to Allah today....would He be pleased with me and what will I bring to Him?" This is something I often worry about and wonder about myself...I wonder how will I face my Lord, Allah, and what will I bring to Him !? (May Allah forgive me and us and help us strive harder for His sake! Ameen) 

“O Allah! I seek Your protection from anxiety and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from stinginess and cowardice, and from the burden of debt and domination of people.” [Bukhari]

Monday, December 1, 2014

Women love to talk.

"And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed, Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy." [Quran 17:53

By nature, women love to talk. We have a thousand things running through our minds and our mouth just automatically opens so we can express everything we are feeling, thinking, and experiencing! We love to tell stories, we love to talk about anything and everything! That includes some things that we must be extremely careful about...gossiping, backbiting, and slandering ! Many of us fall prey to these horrible self indulgent activities which I am no exception to! Allah Musta'an ! Gossiping has become a favourite pastime for many of us and it is a serious disease of the heart. It is something that creates enmity, false judgement and division amongst the ummah. It is a serious illness and we must really try our best to rectify our own state of affairs by the Permission of Allah. 

 "Woe to every slanderer and back-biter!" (Al-Humazah,104: 1)

Well, before I can go on to talk about this issue in detail, I want to first provide definitions to the words gossip, backbiting, and slander just so we can all understand if we are falling into these heinous acts of evil. Taken from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, 

gossipinformation about the behavior and personal lives of other people

to say mean or spiteful things about (as one not present)

slanderto make a false spoken statement that causes people to have a bad opinion of someone

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you know what gheebah (backbiting) is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “Saying something about your brother that he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said, “If what you say is true then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.” 

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) passed by two graves and said, “They are being punished, but they are not being punished for anything that was difficult to avoid. One of them used to walk about spreading malicious gossip (nameemah), and the other used not to take precautions to avoid getting urine on himself when he urinated.” Then he called for a green branch, which he split in two and planted a piece on each grave, and said, “May their torment be reduced so long as these do not dry out.” [al-Bukhaari, Muslim] 

If any of us have fallen into any of these three,or all three, then we must repent to Allah the Oft Forgiving and really educate ourselves about the dangers of such evil acts of shaitan! Allah, the Almighty says: 

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is The One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful" (Qur'an 49: 12)

Subhana'Allah ! We always hear about crazy psychopath serial killers eating the flesh of their victims (audhubillah!) but can you imagine the three evil actions of gossiping, backbiting and slandering could very well account as the same thing ?! These evil things really harm our sisters in Islam and it also harms ourselves! We must be very, very careful! 

I believe that these three evils are caused by many different factors. Many reasons include: having low confidence with oneself, envy of what the other person has, low self-esteem, boredom, ignorance and low emaan. When we dig deep into ourselves and find out the reasons why we gossip, backbite, and slander, we realise that there are some flaws within ourselves that need to be addressed. Having a loose tongue is something very dangerous and it is something that I am working on changing, by the Permission of Allah. I am sure it is something we all strive hard to change because nobody is free from these flaws! We can even fall into this by accident and not realise that even saying " I don't want to backbite, but...." is backbiting! Or, " so and so did this and that, but i'm not sure if it is true" is considered as gossiping and slandering! 

We should put ourselves in the other person's shoes and think "would I want someone talking about me behind my back and saying something that was not true?" or maybe you don't mind if someone talked about you, but what if someone talked about your mother, father, sister  or brother ? Would you like that? 

I know that gossiping is something the kafirs love to do! It is what they are programmed to do because of the drama series and movies they watch! Wait! What about the NEWS?!!! The news is one big gossip fest!!! Slandering at its finest! Always making it seem like this and that person is evil and wicked! Always saying that Islam and Muslims are terrible people who are nothing but terrorists! Subhana'Allah! We don't even need to watch drama series or movies and we already are surrounded by wicked, evil gossip and we don't even know it!!!! We are subconsciously programmed to gossip! 

Ok, well this all has to stop! We really need to remember that every single thing we say or do is being and will be recorded until our last breath! Even as I am typing this right now, it is being recorded ! Everything that we do will be with us until the Day of Judgement. So how will we answer to Allah when He Asks us why we talked bad about so and so...what will we say when He Asks why we started rumours about so and so?! How will we answer? What will we say!? I really believe that we need to really rectify our affairs with regards to these malicious acts. eke!

If we have a problem with a sister, we should address her face to face in private. If we feel jealous about someone and it causes us to put them down verbally in front of people, then we really need to remember Allah and fear Him. We need to remember that all bounties and blessings that other people have are ONLY from Allah and His Wisdom. We may think blessings that others have may be something amazing but maybe it is a big test for them! We can not be jealous of others nor should we be bringing them down just because they have something that we want! This is something that we all need to work on (myself included of course!!) We must remember the next time we want to say something about somebody, we should THINK TWICE before speaking. Bite your tongue so hard until it bleeds if you have to! At least the only person you will be hurting is yourself and also you will be rewarded for keeping your mouth shut! Do not do something that you will regret in the long run! 

Our sisters are our family. We all belong to Allah and we all belong together under the banner of Islam. We should not show enmity towards them because they did something we did not like. Nobody is perfect and we are all human. We must remember that. If we expect others to be forebearing with us and if we expect others not to talk behind our backs and start rumours, then why should we do the same? That would be hypocritical (audhubillah) and we know what Allah says about the hypocrites in the Qur'an (and I am not calling anyone a hypocrite, I am just saying the actions are hypocritical) ! We must be just to ourselves and just to our dear sisters in Islam. There is already enough enmity in this world, and shaitan has worked very hard in dividing everyone (even the kafirs), so we must really hold onto that beautiful sisterhood of Islam and be mature and act like adults with every situation. 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever has wronged his brother with regard to his honour or anything else, let him seek his forgiveness today, before there will be no dinar and no dirham, and if he has any good deeds to his credit they will be taken from him in a manner commensurate with the wrong he did, and if he has no good deeds, then some of his counterpart’s bad deeds will be taken and added to his burden.” [al-Bukhaari].

If you have backbitten, gossiped or slandered someone in the past, please I urge you to repent to Allah and ask for His Forgiveness. Also, rectify your affairs with that sister and try to rebuild and rekindle what you have broken. Nobody is perfect and we are all on a spiritual journey to build ourselves into the best Muslimah for the sake of Allah. May Allah help us all and free us from the diseases of the heart and may He rectify our affairs with one another and put love in our hearts for others for His Sake! Ameen!

Prophet Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) was once asked: "Who is the best Muslim?" He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) replied: "He is the one from whom Muslims are safe from the evil of his tongue and hands." [Muslim]