Monday, December 1, 2014

Women love to talk.



"And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed, Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy." [Quran 17:53


By nature, women love to talk. We have a thousand things running through our minds and our mouth just automatically opens so we can express everything we are feeling, thinking, and experiencing! We love to tell stories, we love to talk about anything and everything! That includes some things that we must be extremely careful about...gossiping, backbiting, and slandering ! Many of us fall prey to these horrible self indulgent activities which I am no exception to! Allah Musta'an ! Gossiping has become a favourite pastime for many of us and it is a serious disease of the heart. It is something that creates enmity, false judgement and division amongst the ummah. It is a serious illness and we must really try our best to rectify our own state of affairs by the Permission of Allah. 



 "Woe to every slanderer and back-biter!" (Al-Humazah,104: 1)



Well, before I can go on to talk about this issue in detail, I want to first provide definitions to the words gossip, backbiting, and slander just so we can all understand if we are falling into these heinous acts of evil. Taken from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, 

gossipinformation about the behavior and personal lives of other people

backbiting:
to say mean or spiteful things about (as one not present)


slanderto make a false spoken statement that causes people to have a bad opinion of someone



It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you know what gheebah (backbiting) is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “Saying something about your brother that he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said, “If what you say is true then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.” 
[Muslim]

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) passed by two graves and said, “They are being punished, but they are not being punished for anything that was difficult to avoid. One of them used to walk about spreading malicious gossip (nameemah), and the other used not to take precautions to avoid getting urine on himself when he urinated.” Then he called for a green branch, which he split in two and planted a piece on each grave, and said, “May their torment be reduced so long as these do not dry out.” [al-Bukhaari, Muslim] 


If any of us have fallen into any of these three,or all three, then we must repent to Allah the Oft Forgiving and really educate ourselves about the dangers of such evil acts of shaitan! Allah, the Almighty says: 



"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is The One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful" (Qur'an 49: 12)

Subhana'Allah ! We always hear about crazy psychopath serial killers eating the flesh of their victims (audhubillah!) but can you imagine the three evil actions of gossiping, backbiting and slandering could very well account as the same thing ?! These evil things really harm our sisters in Islam and it also harms ourselves! We must be very, very careful! 


I believe that these three evils are caused by many different factors. Many reasons include: having low confidence with oneself, envy of what the other person has, low self-esteem, boredom, ignorance and low emaan. When we dig deep into ourselves and find out the reasons why we gossip, backbite, and slander, we realise that there are some flaws within ourselves that need to be addressed. Having a loose tongue is something very dangerous and it is something that I am working on changing, by the Permission of Allah. I am sure it is something we all strive hard to change because nobody is free from these flaws! We can even fall into this by accident and not realise that even saying " I don't want to backbite, but...." is backbiting! Or, " so and so did this and that, but i'm not sure if it is true" is considered as gossiping and slandering! 


We should put ourselves in the other person's shoes and think "would I want someone talking about me behind my back and saying something that was not true?" or maybe you don't mind if someone talked about you, but what if someone talked about your mother, father, sister  or brother ? Would you like that? 


I know that gossiping is something the kafirs love to do! It is what they are programmed to do because of the drama series and movies they watch! Wait! What about the NEWS?!!! The news is one big gossip fest!!! Slandering at its finest! Always making it seem like this and that person is evil and wicked! Always saying that Islam and Muslims are terrible people who are nothing but terrorists! Subhana'Allah! We don't even need to watch drama series or movies and we already are surrounded by wicked, evil gossip and we don't even know it!!!! We are subconsciously programmed to gossip! 


Ok, well this all has to stop! We really need to remember that every single thing we say or do is being and will be recorded until our last breath! Even as I am typing this right now, it is being recorded ! Everything that we do will be with us until the Day of Judgement. So how will we answer to Allah when He Asks us why we talked bad about so and so...what will we say when He Asks why we started rumours about so and so?! How will we answer? What will we say!? I really believe that we need to really rectify our affairs with regards to these malicious acts. eke!


If we have a problem with a sister, we should address her face to face in private. If we feel jealous about someone and it causes us to put them down verbally in front of people, then we really need to remember Allah and fear Him. We need to remember that all bounties and blessings that other people have are ONLY from Allah and His Wisdom. We may think blessings that others have may be something amazing but maybe it is a big test for them! We can not be jealous of others nor should we be bringing them down just because they have something that we want! This is something that we all need to work on (myself included of course!!) We must remember the next time we want to say something about somebody, we should THINK TWICE before speaking. Bite your tongue so hard until it bleeds if you have to! At least the only person you will be hurting is yourself and also you will be rewarded for keeping your mouth shut! Do not do something that you will regret in the long run! 


Our sisters are our family. We all belong to Allah and we all belong together under the banner of Islam. We should not show enmity towards them because they did something we did not like. Nobody is perfect and we are all human. We must remember that. If we expect others to be forebearing with us and if we expect others not to talk behind our backs and start rumours, then why should we do the same? That would be hypocritical (audhubillah) and we know what Allah says about the hypocrites in the Qur'an (and I am not calling anyone a hypocrite, I am just saying the actions are hypocritical) ! We must be just to ourselves and just to our dear sisters in Islam. There is already enough enmity in this world, and shaitan has worked very hard in dividing everyone (even the kafirs), so we must really hold onto that beautiful sisterhood of Islam and be mature and act like adults with every situation. 


It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever has wronged his brother with regard to his honour or anything else, let him seek his forgiveness today, before there will be no dinar and no dirham, and if he has any good deeds to his credit they will be taken from him in a manner commensurate with the wrong he did, and if he has no good deeds, then some of his counterpart’s bad deeds will be taken and added to his burden.” [al-Bukhaari].


If you have backbitten, gossiped or slandered someone in the past, please I urge you to repent to Allah and ask for His Forgiveness. Also, rectify your affairs with that sister and try to rebuild and rekindle what you have broken. Nobody is perfect and we are all on a spiritual journey to build ourselves into the best Muslimah for the sake of Allah. May Allah help us all and free us from the diseases of the heart and may He rectify our affairs with one another and put love in our hearts for others for His Sake! Ameen!



Prophet Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) was once asked: "Who is the best Muslim?" He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) replied: "He is the one from whom Muslims are safe from the evil of his tongue and hands." [Muslim]

2 comments:

  1. Salam arleyki
    Kayfa halouki ?
    My sister, look my blog lol
    http://as-salafiyat.blogspot.fr/
    kiss from france

    ReplyDelete
  2. MashAllah! This is so truth. Fillah sister! May Allah protect us all! Ameen.

    ReplyDelete

Assalamualaikum, please be mindful about what you are about to write. Think about it before writing and make sure it is something positive and beneficial, otherwise it will be deleted and ignored. JazakiAllah kheyr ! Sisters ONLY! xo