Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Do clothes make the woman?

 We have all heard of the phrase " the clothes makes the man" but do "clothes make the woman?"

I say, YES!

Here are some obvious reasons from my personal experiences as to why clothes definitely makes the woman.

When I was a non-Muslim, I studied fashion at a local Toronto college. Fashion was my biggest obsession at the time, and I would eat, breathe, sleep "VOGUE" magazines. I had a huge collection dated back from 1997. I would often be the "go-to" source on the latest trends, hottest designers, and the must-have items. I had hopes to become a personal stylist who would offer styling tips and personal shopping to women. This "profession" made me perfect my self image with the latest trends, the cutest accessories and the most stylish hair styles. Fashion was my life, so I had to "walk the walk" as well as "talk the talk". This later became extremely tiring, as I had to live up to an image that was much too hard to maintain. Just when I thought I had mastered the latest trend, a new one would emerge from the fashion world and I had to spend more money trying to maintain this image.

I left the fashion industry and for the majority of my career I fell into the "health and wellness" industry which ironically isn't so healthy. Many people don't know this, but majority of the people working out at gyms are phonies. The most genuine thing about most gym buffs are, well, maybe their...running shoes. Many of the individuals who spend their days in the gym working on their physique are often using supplements to enhance their natural hormone growth, have hair extensions, breast augmentations, plastic nails, and loads of make up on. Luckily, I was never one of these gym "bimbos' but I was extremely into my appearance and would often waste my money on the best gym outfits. I wanted to look athletic and fit so I had to obviously dress the part as well. I started to feel like my gym clothes was what defined me and one specific brand would represent me and my lifestyle. Athletic clothing was comfortable and casual and it made me feel "myself". My love for yoga pants, fitted hoodies, and flip-flops or stylish runners was what I wore to represent myself.

And finally, after I came to Islam, my whole identity changed, including the way I dressed. There was no such thing as "tight", "fitted", or "spandex" in Islam. I truly believe that clothing makes the woman. I had to discard most of my clothing from my previous life and also did a little "revamping" of the wardrobe which now consists of beautiful abayas from Saudi Arabia, plain neutral colored hijabs, and long sleeve shirts. I cover up my entire body even during the summer. Sure, it took a little while to adjust to the heat, but on a hot summers day, it will be hot anyway clothed or not.

The reason I decided to blog about such a topic is that it has been brought to my attention that many women these days Muslim or not, have been dressing rather 'scantly-clad'. Baring cleavage, wearing skimpy revealing clothes, and some have even made lingere and swimwear part of their daily outfits. I often wonder, do any of these women have any self- respect or dignity? If a woman respected herself and believed that she had more to offer than just her body, I am sure they would not have any desire to dress this way. Most women who dress this way feel like they have to make up for something they are lacking. There really is no such truth to "if you got it, flaunt it." The more you "got it" the less you should flaunt it. A real woman who has the beauty inside and out, finds no means in showing it off or dressing like a, forgive me for my frankness, " a whore". You are, what you wear.
If a woman dresses modestly it is because she respects herself and others around her. A woman who dresses fashionably is because she is a slave to the media and feels a need to "show-off" her "good taste" (I was once guilty of this category). A woman who wears close to nothing is indirectly having an open invitation for unwanted sexual attention...or maybe she wants the sexual attention. Allah knows best. Allah knows best as to why women dress the way they dress, and if I have made any false judgements and accusations then shaitan has tried to alter my perception. But from what I have seen, and from what I have experienced in the past, I know for a fact that you are what you wear.

I used to be a victim of all this fashion slavery, but Alhamdulilah for Islam, I have finally found my balance. I dress a certain way when I am in my own home, and I dress a certain way when I am out in public. There is a place and time for everything and that includes the way you dress. If you want to portray a women who is modest, respectable, and a weak servant to her Lord, than you will see a woman fully covered up head-to-toe. MashAllah. If you want to portray a woman who is wild, loud, with an openly inviting 'free-sex' behavior, you will see a woman wearing a skirt so short that you are unsure whether she forgot to put on pants, and a shirt the size of a bra (or maybe it is her bra).

So which way would you like to dress? And which way would you like to portray yourself to your Lord? I truly believe that clothes make the women, so next time before you step out of your home in your hijab and tight-fitting outfit, ask yourself, who exactly are you trying to impress?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Death of a disbeliever.

I feel claustrophobic. I can't move. I can't see. The darkness blinds me as the heat overpowers my breath. This tight space is suffocating me. There is no way out. My body is lifeless and still, yet my soul is more alive than ever. How long must I endure this constricting space? My soul cries for help, but nobody can hear me. My soul screams for mercy, but nobody can here me. My soul is tired and exhausted from trying to escape. What did I do to deserve such pain and torture? I am frightened and scared. What is going to happen next? Should I have listened to my believing brothers and sisters? Should I have read more of the Qur'an and listened to the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)? But I wanted to enjoy the worldy life! There was so much to offer! Everything seemed so beautiful and tempting, I really couldn't resist! But....where is shaitan? He was the one that helped me with all this! He said he would accompany me every step of the way! But where is he now? Will he help me get out of here?

"Verily, Allâh promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, so you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allâh (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.)." Ibrahiim 14:22

I should have believed in my Lord. I should have been more committed to my Islam. I should have followed the sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh). Why did I let the worldy life take over? I wanted just to be like everyone else! I swear I was going to start being a servant of Allah instead of a servant to the shatian!!! I swear! 
But it's too late now as I know where my destiny belongs:

"The disbeliever’s soul will then scatter, dispersing throughout his body, but the Angel of Death will rip it out violently similar to how a skewer [with many forks] is yanked through wet wool [ripping with it the veins and nerves].[Every angel between the heaven and earth and every angel in the heaven will curse the person. The gates of heaven will be closed and there will be no group of gatekeepers except that those angels will call upon Allah, asking that his soul does not ascend by way of them]. The Angel of Death will take the soul and when he has taken it, the other angels do not leave it in his had even for the blink of an eye before they put the soul into that sackcloth (of fire). There will emit from the soul a stench more disgusting, offensive than any decaying carcass found on the surface of the earth. " Aḥkām al-Janāiz wa Bidau’ha (no. 105, pp. 198-202)

Please watch.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Monday, September 5, 2011

Brass crescent awards!

So I just heard about this yesterday and would love to try for best new blog! There is only 2 days left to nominate :) please support me!! Jazakallah kheyrun my dear readers!!!!http://www.brasscrescent.org/ Though an award is not important as my blog is for the sake of Allah, it would be a great opportunity to spread my blog and expand my readers so I can help educate and continuing spreading the love for Islam. Thank you :) Khadijah

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Can a friendship of a non-believer be kept?

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "There are three characteristics; whoever has them will taste the sweetness of faith: That Allaah and His Messenger are more beloved to him than all else, that he loves a person and does not love him except for the sake of Allaah, and that he would hate to revert to unbelief just as he would hate to be thrown into the Fire." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
In Islam, it is extremely important to surround yourself with good companions. Companions who will bring you closer to Allah, help you strengthen your deen, and help make you a better Muslim. I never really knew the importance of friendship until I entered Islam.

Friendship to me meant finding the person who shared the same interests as me, someone to call up and complain to about my problems, and someone who would make me feel better when I was having a bad day. I probably wasn't the best friend that one could have, I was often selfish and always put myself first. To me friendship was based on a give and take relationship and I would often take and never really give. I think a lot of it had to also do with trust issues as it was always hard for me to trust others because of past experiences that left me scarred. I had this mentality where the person I befriended had to "prove" themselves to me before they gained my trust and my friendship. I believe it is still a lot like this in the Western society. Which brings me to my topic of friendship of a non-believer, can it be kept?

Since becoming Muslim, it was a struggle for me to keep my non-Muslim friends. I tried hard to balance my lifestyle with theirs but it just wasn't possible. Many of them didn't understand why I couldn't go anywhere without my husband, and many of them would speak to me as if I was still a non-Muslim. It is extremely difficult to maintain such friendships mainly because I chose to leave the person I was behind as well as the lifestyle I was living. I never took myself seriously, so when I became Muslim a lot of my friends still didn't take me seriously. I was extremely serious about my new life and I wanted to share more about my experience and my decision. Some of them didn't take much interest and some did. I then began to contemplate, is it really worth it trying to keep these friends in my life? Friends who still revolve themselves around materialistic things, friends who didn't care about God or the Hereafter, friends who still believed that the haram things were halal? I slowly started to distance myself from the friends I knew would not bring me closer to my Creator, from friends who treated me like the same person I used to be, and from friends who had no interest in my religion. It took a while for me to decide if it was the right choice, I would keep trying to introduce the topic of Islam to many, but many would just listen to a few words and then began to speak about their worldy life. Perhaps Islam has opened my eyes to what the true importance of life has to offer. Not just parties and fashion magazines and looking "hot". Perhaps Islam has made me realize that the true friends in your life are supposed to be like the companions of the Prophet (pbuh). They should stand by your side and support your beliefs and trust you and your judgement. They should believe in you and believe that the decisions you made in your life would benefit them and the world as well. It's hard to find a good non-believing friend these days as they are blinded by the shaitan. I've tried several times to give them dawah incognito but over and over again I realize just how blind and deaf they are. My non-believing friends in my past life were great people, and for the sake of Allah I respect them, but also for the sake of Allah I have chose to left them for they will not bring me closer to my Deen, they will not help me be a better Muslim, and they choose to be blind when I am trying to help them see. I really can't express the challenges I had to face when having a simple conversation with my non-believing friends. I felt like I was having a tug-o-war with myself and the shaitan and keeping these friendships would just steer me back into my past memories. I want nothing to do with my past life and the importance of building my own "Sahabah" is priority. I don't want friends but I want a sisterhood where I can help my sisters become better Muslimahs while helping them become closer to their Deen. I don't ask for anything in return as I only ask that Allah be pleased with me.

So can a friendship of a non-believer be kept? Well, maybe, but for me?
That is a definite, no.