Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Do clothes make the woman?


 We have all heard of the phrase " the clothes makes the man" but do "clothes make the woman?"

I say, YES!

Here are some obvious reasons from my personal experiences as to why clothes definitely makes the woman.

When I was a non-Muslim, I studied fashion at a local Toronto college. Fashion was my biggest obsession at the time, and I would eat, breathe, sleep "VOGUE" magazines. I had a huge collection dated back from 1997. I would often be the "go-to" source on the latest trends, hottest designers, and the must-have items. I had hopes to become a personal stylist who would offer styling tips and personal shopping to women. This "profession" made me perfect my self image with the latest trends, the cutest accessories and the most stylish hair styles. Fashion was my life, so I had to "walk the walk" as well as "talk the talk". This later became extremely tiring, as I had to live up to an image that was much too hard to maintain. Just when I thought I had mastered the latest trend, a new one would emerge from the fashion world and I had to spend more money trying to maintain this image.

I left the fashion industry and for the majority of my career I fell into the "health and wellness" industry which ironically isn't so healthy. Many people don't know this, but majority of the people working out at gyms are phonies. The most genuine thing about most gym buffs are, well, maybe their...running shoes. Many of the individuals who spend their days in the gym working on their physique are often using supplements to enhance their natural hormone growth, have hair extensions, breast augmentations, plastic nails, and loads of make up on. Luckily, I was never one of these gym "bimbos' but I was extremely into my appearance and would often waste my money on the best gym outfits. I wanted to look athletic and fit so I had to obviously dress the part as well. I started to feel like my gym clothes was what defined me and one specific brand would represent me and my lifestyle. Athletic clothing was comfortable and casual and it made me feel "myself". My love for yoga pants, fitted hoodies, and flip-flops or stylish runners was what I wore to represent myself.


And finally, after I came to Islam, my whole identity changed, including the way I dressed. There was no such thing as "tight", "fitted", or "spandex" in Islam. I truly believe that clothing makes the woman. I had to discard most of my clothing from my previous life and also did a little "revamping" of the wardrobe which now consists of beautiful abayas from Saudi Arabia, plain neutral colored hijabs, and long sleeve shirts. I cover up my entire body even during the summer. Sure, it took a little while to adjust to the heat, but on a hot summers day, it will be hot anyway clothed or not.

The reason I decided to blog about such a topic is that it has been brought to my attention that many women these days Muslim or not, have been dressing rather 'scantly-clad'. Baring cleavage, wearing skimpy revealing clothes, and some have even made lingere and swimwear part of their daily outfits. I often wonder, do any of these women have any self- respect or dignity? If a woman respected herself and believed that she had more to offer than just her body, I am sure they would not have any desire to dress this way. Most women who dress this way feel like they have to make up for something they are lacking. There really is no such truth to "if you got it, flaunt it." The more you "got it" the less you should flaunt it. A real woman who has the beauty inside and out, finds no means in showing it off or dressing like a, forgive me for my frankness, " a whore". You are, what you wear.
If a woman dresses modestly it is because she respects herself and others around her. A woman who dresses fashionably is because she is a slave to the media and feels a need to "show-off" her "good taste" (I was once guilty of this category). A woman who wears close to nothing is indirectly having an open invitation for unwanted sexual attention...or maybe she wants the sexual attention. Allah knows best. Allah knows best as to why women dress the way they dress, and if I have made any false judgements and accusations then shaitan has tried to alter my perception. But from what I have seen, and from what I have experienced in the past, I know for a fact that you are what you wear.

I used to be a victim of all this fashion slavery, but Alhamdulilah for Islam, I have finally found my balance. I dress a certain way when I am in my own home, and I dress a certain way when I am out in public. There is a place and time for everything and that includes the way you dress. If you want to portray a women who is modest, respectable, and a weak servant to her Lord, than you will see a woman fully covered up head-to-toe. MashAllah. If you want to portray a woman who is wild, loud, with an openly inviting 'free-sex' behavior, you will see a woman wearing a skirt so short that you are unsure whether she forgot to put on pants, and a shirt the size of a bra (or maybe it is her bra).

So which way would you like to dress? And which way would you like to portray yourself to your Lord? I truly believe that clothes make the women, so next time before you step out of your home in your hijab and tight-fitting outfit, ask yourself, who exactly are you trying to impress?


17 comments:

  1. wow spot on girl ur right!!!!!

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  2. Khadija my dear and sweetest sister!! I loved it!!! Thank you sooo much for this great article! Im gonna share it on my fb immidetly :)
    <3 <3 <3
    (Lana)

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  3. Mashaa Allah Ukhtyyyyy Loved it!!!! Keep up the Frankness we all need eye openers....
    Jazak Allah Khair LOVE U!

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  4. JAZAKALLA KHEYRUN TO MY TWO MOST BEAUTIFUL SISTERS EVER!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU BOTH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    THANK YOU BOTH FOR THE SUPPORT, May Allah unite us all one day in this dunya and if we are lucky, in the Hereafter AMEEN!!!!!

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  5. Good post :D. Thanks for this beautiful insight to your previous life (if I may say this :P).
    May I post this on my blog? I'll put a link to this blog :D.

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  6. It's only simple courtesy, just because its on the internet it doesn't mean we loose our ethics :)

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  7. Asslamualykum warahmatallahi wabarakatu!

    thank you everyone for your kind words! JazakAllah Kheyrun :)

    Please I encourage everyone to spread the word of my blog and share with others, as well to please become a follower (if you use blogger) and subscribe by e-mail. This is all for the sake of Allah and we should be letting others know the importance of their duties as a Muslim! May Allah be pleased with us all . Ameen!

    Also, yes thank you Hanna for asking, I dont mind at all for sharing my pieces on other's blogs but please at least let me know :)

    thank you again !!!<3

    Khadijah

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  8. Salamu'alaikum khadijah,
    ''you are what you wear.'' Is it really what we wear especially as women what we are inside, is it what we believe mightily on, is it what we feel as suitable to prove our presence in such a modern societies where Fashion is the language of the modern woman, is what we wear what makes us feeling our feminity, is this or that kind of woman-dressing completely reflecting her morals as Human being whom Allah swt honours by a mind to think by , are clothing an ABSOLUTE STANDART to judge this or that woman if she is ''Good'' or ''Bad'',''Pious'' or ''Stray'', are woman Outfits THE UNIQUE CRITERION to measure her Piety rather her heart's whiteness and her Dignity??!! Is it and is it...??!!!!

    Honestly, it is a so sensitive issue to argue and perhaps to be more objective or away of any prejudice or any Bias, the matter needs more than one coin to speak about to not oppress or be oppressed without overlooking or hiding the truth of the things around as the Wrong is often more clear than the sun in the sky, as the Right too remains ''Powerful'' and its voice is high even if the majority of its seers are blind and its hearers are deaf.
    Allah swt says:

    إِنَّمَا ٱلتَّوۡبَةُ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ لِلَّذِينَ يَعۡمَلُونَ ٱلسُّوٓءَ بِجَهَـٰلَةٍ۬ ثُمَّ يَتُوبُونَ مِن قَرِيبٍ۬ فَأُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ يَتُوبُ ٱللَّهُ عَلَيۡہِمۡ‌ۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَڪِيمً۬ا (١٧)

    ''Forgiveness is only incumbent on Allah towards those who do evil in ignorance (and) then turn quickly (in repentance) to Allah. These are they toward whom Allah relenteth. Allah is ever Knower, Wise. (17)''Q 4:17

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  9. FOLLOWING (1):


    In brief, I appreciate your frankness sister khadijah and your great jaleousy for your feminity as a muslimah now and that of all women worldwide as it is well described between the lines of yr Post here according to yr personal experience as a western ex-non muslimah and the right that yre saying aloud without fearing any criticism from an islamic perspective ...Great!
    Jazakki allahu kulla alkhair and keeps you steadfast on His straight way and all muslim woman throughout the world asking too His guidance for any non muslim woman to the light of His wisdom...ameen

    And as a complement to your point of view sister , I say to any woman whatever her belief what Allah swt states:
    يُرِيدُ ٱللَّهُ لِيُبَيِّنَ لَكُمۡ وَيَہۡدِيَڪُمۡ سُنَنَ ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِڪُمۡ وَيَتُوبَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ‌ۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ۬ (٢٦) وَٱللَّهُ يُرِيدُ أَن يَتُوبَ عَلَيۡڪُمۡ وَيُرِيدُ ٱلَّذِينَ يَتَّبِعُونَ ٱلشَّہَوَٲتِ أَن تَمِيلُواْ مَيۡلاً عَظِيمً۬ا (٢٧) يُرِيدُ ٱللَّهُ أَن يُخَفِّفَ عَنكُمۡ‌ۚ وَخُلِقَ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنُ ضَعِيفً۬ا (٢٨)

    ''Allah would explain to you and guide you by the examples of those who were before you, and would turn to you in mercy. Allah is Knower, Wise. (26) And Allah would turn to you in mercy; but those who follow vain desires would have you go tremendously astray. (27) Allah would make the burden light for you, for man was created weak. (28)'' Q 4: 26-28

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  10. FOLLOWING (2):


    Btw, as a quick reminder and important one to say to my sister ''THE WOMAN'' worldwide,is that what I am reporting here as verses are from a whole great surat ( group of verses whose number is 176 verses) called ''An-Nisa''(in arabic transliteration) means ''WOMEN'' showing her rights and her duties as a dignified, Cherished , respectful human being in islam...
    Tell me then my sister the woman, tell me please : where can you find all this tremendous precious interesting and Honor as what Allah swt in islam grants you??!!! Regardless to your Belief,sister ''the woman'' ask please your Consciousness, ask your Mind, as your instinct..brief, see how you are dealing with your condition in your social environment and ask yourself: which value do I have? Which is my aim from dressing like this or that? Am I satisfied? Am I comfortable as I am? and as Khadijah said , ask yourself : ''who am I trying to impress?'' and perhaps I rather say ''trying to satisfy: man's lusts or myself as a dignified honoured creature of Allah the One the Almighty??!!

    To sum up, if I agree with khadijah in her point of view, to be fair, I don't want to absolutely judge any human intention just on what he or she is wearing even if I distaste the obscene clothing and this is Haram ( forbidden) in islam and it is from saitan's tricks and Fitna (temptation)for any man whoever is wherever, and whenever.

    If clothing can be misused, this fabric or that way of dressing can not definitively be the miror of what we are inside even if it could be but not always.
    We just ask Allah the mighty the safety from the Evil of ourselves and the saitan the damned and let us see the Right Right and the Wrong Wrong...ameen
    Allah states:

    ''وَلَا تَلۡبِسُواْ ٱلۡحَقَّ بِٱلۡبَـٰطِلِ وَتَكۡتُمُواْ ٱلۡحَقَّ وَأَنتُمۡ تَعۡلَمُونَ (٤٢)

    Confound not truth with falsehood, nor knowingly conceal the truth. (42)'' Q 2:42

    In all cases, Modesty is well recommendated according to our Deen (islam)and it is well asked from both man and woman.This is our way to chastity and Dignity.

    Therby,the woman needs perhaps more to understand wisely the sense of what she is wearing as woman and especially the ''why'' of being created as a dignified human being..To know this ''why'' leads her to know ''whom she has to believe on'' and I mean the ONE, THE FIRST, THE LAST,THE LOVING, THE HIGH-EXALTER, Allah swt...She then would know ''whom she is disobeying'' and ''whom she has to be afraid of while she is sure of His great mercy '' and ''whom she has to surrender to asking His pleasure''..this ''Whom''is ALLAH your creator sister the woman...
    This way, any woman could then choose between the Right and the falsehood, her favor or her loss, her Dignity or her humiliation, her chastity or its lack....brief , The jannah ( paradise) or the Hellfire.

    And I end by the most precious honest words from our holy book Qur'an alkareem:

    يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفۡسٍ۬ وَٲحِدَةٍ۬ وَخَلَقَ مِنۡہَا زَوۡجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنۡہُمَا رِجَالاً۬ كَثِيرً۬ا وَنِسَآءً۬‌ۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلۡأَرۡحَامَ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ رَقِيبً۬ا (١)

    O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty toward Allah in Whom ye claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs (that bare you). Lo! Allah hath been a watcher over you. (1)'' Q 4: 1

    God bless you khadijah and all sisters worldwide..ameen

    Salamu'alikum
    your sister fi allah

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  11. JazakAllah Kheyr for your wise words my dear sister !!!!!!! I alway look to you for the best advice as you are a born Muslim representing her faith in Allah SWT !!!! Great words of advice and encouragement as women have become objects of lust and desire for men and nothing else. It is sad to see that the 21st century has changed women into slaves of shaitan and slaves of media rather than slaves of Allah SWT.

    I hope my blog, for the sake of Allah will open up if not many, at least one or two eyes of women who are willing to change for the better for they do not want a place in the hellfire on the day of judgement.

    xox
    Your loyal sister ,
    Khadijah

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  12. Ameen Ukhtyyyyyy......We all want more from you....Mashaa Allah....May Allah bless your hard work and effort......Love u my lovely sister...

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  13. Jazakumullahu khairan my dears sisters for the great work you've been doing to our great deen. MashaAllah!

    Just and observation, although pink color is mostly loved by girls/women [another fashionable issue huh?], but i find it difficult reading your pinked written notes. in my opinion if you can change the text color to a more legible one that would help more towards your goal of spreading the message of Islam and away from the pink textual fashion.

    i hope you don't mind my criticism and thanks once more for effort in spreading the message of Islam

    Salihu Garba

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  14. Assalamualykum wahramatalahi wabarakatu!

    Jazakallah kheyr :)

    Pink is my favourite colour and once being a fashion student, i never once associated pink with fashion :) !

    It's just a personal preference and a favourite colour of mine.

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  15. Wa alaikum salam warahmatullah wabarakatuhu sister khadijah.

    Pink color is cool - keep it - nothing wrong with it all. However, you may wish to consider using deep pink #FF1493 so that it can contrast well with the background ash/grey color #CCCCCC. One of your objectives here inshaAllah should be high accessibility of your web contents and that should entails eligibility of your textual contents as well and to ensure any "noise" that would hinder readability/communicating your content should be kept at a distance - even if that include our "personal preference".

    Have a look at these sites for more options on Web (safe) colors:

    http://colorschemedesigner.com/
    http://www.hypergurl.com/colormatch.php

    Once more Jazakillah bil hayrat for your great contributions to Allah's deen. May it be accepted as part of ibadah inshAllah

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  16. :) SALIHU ..thank you for this information! But I have changed the layout of the blog and I quite like this one! What do you think? it's easier to read and all posts are easily accesible!

    Jazakilah Kheyr for sharing the info :)

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  17. Yes! Sister Khadija you've got it right!! This is exactly what am talking about. Now you have a more professional looking site with a highly legible text as well. MashaAllah keep it up! :)

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Assalamualaikum, please be mindful about what you are about to write. Think about it before writing and make sure it is something positive and beneficial, otherwise it will be deleted and ignored. JazakiAllah kheyr ! Sisters ONLY! xo