You gotta read this,

I never liked exams, in fact I detested them!
I was never the top student of my class, in fact I was terrible at exams. I had exam anxiety and had to separate from another room so I could have extra time to finish (not that it helped my amazing marks *sarcasm*)

Why must one spend so much dedication and time towards studying for a topic while only to be tested on it after?
We learn all we can and some even cram and leave a years worth of knowledge to the last minute hoping to absorb as much information as possible before the final exam. Subhana'Allah.

The purpose of the exam is to test our knowledge and to see if we can correctly apply what we have been taught from what we learnt throughout the year. The one who puts in the hours and the efforts usually succeeds with a higher-than-passing mark. The one who crams all night and leaves everything to the last minute usually fails or barely passes.
I used to be the latter. I would leave my studying to the last minute and hoping that by fluke I would some how pass, and the joke here is, I would be praying to my wooden deities to pass me (lol!! but seriously, astughfurAllah). I concluded that exams (and tests) just weren't "my thing".

Writing an exam or a test requires so much preparation and focus (and SO much effort). That feeling of successfully passing and moving ahead in life is just SO rewarding. We spend so much time working hard to become the best student, earning that killer degree, and giving ourselves the head honcho titles but what about successfully preparing for our final exam? What about focusing on our daily tests we are put through every day by our Creator? Are we going to cram until the last minute hoping to pass THE final exam (our death, the grave, The Day of Judgement)?

Aha, but this final exam is different. There is no re-take. You can't erase and re-write the right answer. You can't separate yourself into another room and be allotted more time. This exam is limited on time. This is the exam that we have been preparing for all our lives. Wouldn't it be a shame to know that cramming for this exam will not grant you a passing grade? Wouldn't it be a shame to know that failing this exam will enter you into an eternal punishment with torture and pain that you couldn't even imagine? Wouldn't it be a shame to know that you were given all this extra time and credit to your advantage yet you decided to study other subjects? Failing each chapter of your tests will not help you with THIS final exam.

Just imagine, taking THE final exam that will determine your destiny for eternity (Paradise, or the Hellfire).

Would you then continue to slack off , or would you start studying and preparing ahead of time?

Exams and tests used to be a joke to me.
But there is nothing funny about this test I'm taking, and this final exam is definitely not a laughing matter.

Death of a disbeliever.

I feel claustrophobic. I can't move. I can't see. The darkness blinds me as the heat overpowers my breath. This tight space is suffocating me. There is no way out. My body is lifeless and still, yet my soul is more alive than ever. How long must I endure this constricting space? My soul cries for help, but nobody can hear me. My soul screams for mercy, but nobody can here me. My soul is tired and exhausted from trying to escape. What did I do to deserve such pain and torture? I am frightened and scared. What is going to happen next? Should I have listened to my believing brothers and sisters? Should I have read more of the Qur'an and listened to the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)? But I wanted to enjoy the worldy life! There was so much to offer! Everything seemed so beautiful and tempting, I really couldn't resist! But....where is shaitan? He was the one that helped me with all this! He said he would accompany me every step of the way! But where is he now? Will he help me get out of here?

"Verily, Allâh promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, so you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allâh (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.)." Ibrahiim 14:22

I should have believed in my Lord. I should have been more committed to my Islam. I should have followed the sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh). Why did I let the worldy life take over? I wanted just to be like everyone else! I swear I was going to start being a servant of Allah instead of a servant to the shatian!!! I swear! 

But it's too late now as I know where my destiny belongs:

  

"The disbeliever’s soul will then scatter, dispersing throughout his body, but the Angel of Death will rip it out violently similar to how a skewer [with many forks] is yanked through wet wool [ripping with it the veins and nerves].[Every angel between the heaven and earth and every angel in the heaven will curse the person. The gates of heaven will be closed and there will be no group of gatekeepers except that those angels will call upon Allah, asking that his soul does not ascend by way of them]. The Angel of Death will take the soul and when he has taken it, the other angels do not leave it in his had even for the blink of an eye before they put the soul into that sackcloth (of fire). There will emit from the soul a stench more disgusting, offensive than any decaying carcass found on the surface of the earth. " Aḥkām al-Janāiz wa Bidau’ha (no. 105, pp. 198-202)

Please watch.

Hours in the car later, I managed to produce this!

Brass crescent awards!

So I just heard about this yesterday and would love to try for best new blog! There is only 2 days left to nominate :) please support me!! Jazakallah kheyrun my dear readers!!!!http://www.brasscrescent.org/ Though an award is not important as my blog is for the sake of Allah, it would be a great opportunity to spread my blog and expand my readers so I can help educate and continuing spreading the love for Islam. Thank you :) Khadijah

Can a friendship of a non-believer be kept?

The Prophet said: "There are three characteristics; whoever has them will taste the sweetness of faith: That Allaah and His Messenger are more beloved to him than all else, that he loves a person and does not love him except for the sake of Allaah, and that he would hate to revert to unbelief just as he would hate to be thrown into the Fire." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

In Islam, it is extremely important to surround yourself with good companions. Companions who will bring you closer to Allah, help you strengthen your deen, and help make you a better Muslim. I never really knew the importance of friendship until I entered Islam.

Friendship to me meant finding the person who shared the same interests as me, someone to call up and complain to about my problems, and someone who would make me feel better when I was having a bad day. I probably wasn't the best friend that one could have, I was often selfish and always put myself first. To me friendship was based on a give and take relationship and I would often take and never really give. I think a lot of it had to also do with trust issues as it was always hard for me to trust others because of past experiences that left me scarred. I had this mentality where the person I befriended had to "prove" themselves to me before they gained my trust and my friendship. I believe it is still a lot like this in the Western society. Which brings me to my topic of friendship of a non-believer, can it be kept?

Since becoming Muslim, it was a struggle for me to keep my non-Muslim friends. I tried hard to balance my lifestyle with theirs but it just wasn't possible. Many of them didn't understand why I couldn't go anywhere without my husband, and many of them would speak to me as if I was still a non-Muslim. It is extremely difficult to maintain such friendships mainly because I chose to leave the person I was behind as well as the lifestyle I was living. I never took myself seriously, so when I became Muslim a lot of my friends still didn't take me seriously. I was extremely serious about my new life and I wanted to share more about my experience and my decision. Some of them didn't take much interest and some did. I then began to contemplate, is it really worth it trying to keep these friends in my life? Friends who still revolve themselves around materialistic things, friends who didn't care about God or the Hereafter, friends who still believed that the haram things were halal? I slowly started to distance myself from the friends I knew would not bring me closer to my Creator, from friends who treated me like the same person I used to be, and from friends who had no interest in my religion. It took a while for me to decide if it was the right choice, I would keep trying to introduce the topic of Islam to many, but many would just listen to a few words and then began to speak about their worldy life. Perhaps Islam has opened my eyes to what the true importance of life has to offer. Not just parties and fashion magazines and looking "hot". Perhaps Islam has made me realize that the true friends in your life are supposed to be like the companions of the Prophet (pbuh). They should stand by your side and support your beliefs and trust you and your judgement. They should believe in you and believe that the decisions you made in your life would benefit them and the world as well. It's hard to find a good non-believing friend these days as they are blinded by the shaitan. I've tried several times to give them dawah incognito but over and over again I realize just how blind and deaf they are. My non-believing friends in my past life were great people, and for the sake of Allah I respect them, but also for the sake of Allah I have chose to left them for they will not bring me closer to my Deen, they will not help me be a better Muslim, and they choose to be blind when I am trying to help them see. I really can't express the challenges I had to face when having a simple conversation with my non-believing friends. I felt like I was having a tug-o-war with myself and the shaitan and keeping these friendships would just steer me back into my past memories. I want nothing to do with my past life and the importance of building my own "Sahabah" is priority. I don't want friends but I want a sisterhood where I can help my sisters become better Muslimahs while helping them become closer to their Deen. I don't ask for anything in return as I only ask that Allah be pleased with me.

So can a friendship of a non-believer be kept? Well, maybe, but for me?
That is a definite, no.

MY First Ramadhan.

My first Ramadhan and Eid experience did not live up to that of the Twitter and Facebook status updates. I will share with you my experience and what I thought about this blessed month. The month where The Holy Qur'an was revealed, the month of extra worship, the month of fasting.

I wasn't sure what Ramadhan would entail since it was my very first one. My husband told me in his country, they make it more of a huge event than it really is; feasts, food being wasted, large family gatherings, and weight gaining are part of the Ramadan starter pack. Many individuals would eat before praying Maghrib and many would also experience weight gaining at the end of Ramadhan. AstughfurAllah! The Holy Month of Ibadah (worship) has turned into, for some, the holy month of eating!  Also, during Ramadhan, the part-time Muslims were hard at work, and once Ramadhan ended, they would be back to their full-time job with shaitan. I chuckled at the thought of this.

First of all, how is it even possible to be a part-time Muslim? Well, it is very possible and it happening everywhere in the world today.
Secondly, since when did Ramadhan become a social event? I thought the main purpose was to worship your Creator and show Him your gratitude!?
Thirdly, what ever happened to sticking to what Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) taught?

I am not sure how most of the Muslim's Ramadhan went, but my Ramadhan went a little something like this:

It was quiet and extremely simple.
I had much time alone to reflect on my relationship with my Creator.
I didn't have any big Iftar parties.
I blogged a lot.
I prayed a bit more than I normally prayed.
I took more naps than usual.
I learned how to cook two new dishes.
I thought about ways to work on my Iman.
I truly thought about death and truly dreaded the Day.
I was able to envision in my mind the day the Angel of death came to take me away
I thanked Allah continuously for the opportunity to live each day to worship Him and only Him

As you can see, my Ramadhan was uneventful and quite "boring" compared to most Muslims, but I have to say that I preferred it to be that way rather than loud, hectic, and distracting. It was nice to spend it by myself and with my husband.

I had a lot of time to reflect about my new life and how I never ever want to go astray. I had much time to really think about what it would be like in my grave when I die. Really envisioning the confined space, with nowhere to go, nothing to see except darkness. Though I am dead, my soul is still alive in my grave, waiting for the Day of Resurrection. This thought frightens me because I know that after the grave, comes the Day when we will all be judged by our Creator. So instead of stuffing my face during Iftar and Soohur, instead of worrying what new outfit I was going to wear on Eid, and instead of being busy with family gatherings, I was busy worrying about how to strengthen my iman, how to keep myself focused on the straight path until the day I die, how to live my life day by day until the Day of Judgement arrives.

I would say for my first Ramadhan, it was the most productive time I have ever had in a long, long time. Now that Ramadhan is finished, I plan to live my life with the image of me in my grave waiting for that brutally, scorching, terrible Day of Judgement and a suggestion for the part-time Muslims, you may not live to make it to the next Ramadhan, so you might as well start working hard and promote yourself to Full-time Muslim.

In Response to my post, "Mankind creates their own natural disaster."

I received a comment from my dear sister in response to my post on "Mankind creates their own natural disaster". A well written follow-up to my post. JazakAllah Kheyr my pious sister. Love you for the sake of Allah! 
 

''Good morning,

Salamu'alaikum khadijah,

Very nice what you have written here as yre granting us a travel free of any charge: a cutural trip between geography, history , philosophy in such a kind interesting spiritual atmosphere..masha'allah sister ..A good analyse of the lifestyle in Toronto rather man's westernized life fulfilled by lusts and vain temptations ......

Lately, the different tv news speak daily about the expected Harricane and 55 millions of people in USA are then on the risk of death.

Could then the human's high technologies prevent this natural disaster of touching any man or destructing humans'buildings and their strong walls??!! 

Could man with all his power, his wealth and his

WILL win the battle , I mean a battle between Nature and Man's Mind?!! 

What do you think sisters: Allah's Will or Man's Will?!! 

For sure : Allah 's Will ...subhanna allah wa Allah wa akbar.

Allah does not want only the GOOD for us ..But who is thinking wisely??!!!

This Harricane can only be AYAT between many Ayats of Allah the mighty to all mankind...a proof of His Power and His greatness swt and He the almighty does not need any material proof to let us recognize His Glory but the cosmos around rather the small nice flower on one of the coin of a garden glorifies Him swt ..but who is listening?! Who is seeing?! Who is minding?!

I hope the few pious believers at least remember and spread this remembrance to all mankind throughout the world and yre already doing this khadijah..masha'allah...Go ahead and we are grateful elhamdulil allah.

But as muslims learning through their Deen( islamic religion)the Mercy and the Love of best for others whosever are even atheists , we ask Allah the most merciful the Forgiver to protect people there and make of this natural phenemonen a guide for many of them to His light, to believe that ''THERE IS NO GOD But ALLAH''.

O my Lord , yre the source of Peace , The preserver of safety, remove the Evil and make our sisters and brothers the muslims living there safe , open the heart of non muslims to yr Deen and enlighten their mind by yr Light of wisdom..ameen

This is My ISLAM..This is the true MERCY.

These are the morals of our Islam: Tolerance, Justice and pure Love of all mankind asking Allah's pleasure and nothing else than His obedience insha'allah.

Thank you khadijah..yre putting the hand on a crucial actual matter: the imbalance between the needs of the human's soul (Faith) and that of his self ''Al nafs''(fulfiling its Lusts and cravings only); an imbalance between Spiritualiy and Rationality ( materialism takes unfortunately the place of the king as we say in this modern world of the 21st century)..a Battle then between Evil and Good , between Right and Wrong.....

I am then wondering: When would man awake up from ''the lies'', the nonsense , the mirage of vain modernism rather the play that he is playing on the theater of life and see then the sunshine as Allah swt created it for us to enjoy its beauty??!!!

When would be the blindness of man's eyes dissipated??!!

The RIGHT will never die.

Btw, I think that neither man's ability of free Will nor that of choice to think as you noted sister, are his means to destroy himself or lead universe to its downfall but the lack of wisdom, the human selfishness,the arrogance and the reckness of the WHY of his existance on the earth ( I mean worshipping One God Allah swt and surrendering to Him) , all this would lead him to what we are seeing now as nonsense and as disbelief worldwide...

We ask Allah the most gracious the Beneficent the compassionate the safety from the weakness of our nafs (self) and satan's trips ...ameen 

  

I hope with the event of this new harricane, many blind minds find then the way, the path of worshipping One God without any partner, the upright way.

I testify that there is no God but Allah and I bear witness that Muhammed is His messenger.

Elhamdulil allah for the grace of Islam.

And I end by those sacred verses from qur'an elkareem:

 قُل لِّمَنِ ٱلۡأَرۡضُ وَمَن فِيهَآ إِن ڪُنتُمۡ تَعۡلَمُونَ (٨٤) سَيَقُولُونَ لِلَّهِ‌ۚ قُلۡ أَفَلَا تَذَكَّرُونَ (٨٥) قُلۡ مَن رَّبُّ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٲتِ ٱلسَّبۡعِ وَرَبُّ ٱلۡعَرۡشِ ٱلۡعَظِيمِ (٨٦) سَيَقُولُونَ لِلَّهِ‌ۚ قُلۡ أَفَلَا تَتَّقُونَ (٨٧) قُلۡ مَنۢ بِيَدِهِۦ مَلَكُوتُ ڪُلِّ شَىۡءٍ۬ وَهُوَ يُجِيرُ وَلَا يُجَارُ عَلَيۡهِ إِن كُنتُمۡ تَعۡلَمُونَ (٨٨) سَيَقُولُونَ لِلَّهِ‌ۚ قُلۡ فَأَنَّىٰ تُسۡحَرُونَ (٨٩) بَلۡ أَتَيۡنَـٰهُم بِٱلۡحَقِّ وَإِنَّهُمۡ لَكَـٰذِبُونَ (٩٠)

Say: Unto Whom (belongeth) the earth and whosoever is therein, if ye have knowledge? (84) They will say: Unto Allah. Say: Will ye not then remember? (85) Say: Who is Lord of the seven heavens, and Lord of the Tremendous Throne? (86) They will say: Unto Allah (all that belongeth). Say: Will ye not then keep duty (unto Him)? (87) Say: In Whose hand is the dominion over all things and He protecteth, while against Him there is no protection, if ye have knowledge? (88) They will say: Unto Allah (all that belongeth). Say: How then are ye bewitched? (89) Nay, but We have brought them the Truth, and lo! they are liars. (90)''. Q 23 : 84-90

God bless you khadijah.

Salamu'alaikum

From your sister fi allah

Meriam (tn) ''

I encourage all the sisters to partake in commenting on posts as well, reading a post is only skin deep but replying and commenting shows that you truly understand or have an opinion on the matters that are affecting Muslims and non-Muslims today.

JazakamAllah Kheyr

Khadijah' 

If only.

The calm sun shines on the ocean leaving a beautiful reflection of a golden colour. The mountains scattered unevenly with perfection. The trees are so green you can smell the leaves from a far. The homes sit peacefully side by side, while the birds sing beautifully on the rooftop. The flowers stand tall tilting towards the sun. The weather is warm and the earth is cool. There is not a hint of pollution, nor is there a drop of garbage in the streets. Everything is so clean and just so beautiful. You wonder, how such beauty could ever be created?

The citizens of this town are calm, peaceful, and kind. They greet their neighbours with a "Assalamualykum" and welcome them as if they were family. You can hear them smiling through their speech, and their laughter so soft and gentle. Everyone is treated equally in this town and there is no such thing as segregation. Help is readily available for those in need and not a single soul judges anyone but themselves. The women dressed in their beautiful abayas with their hijab worn with perfection and the men in their thobes, tall and strong. Though the colour of the skin on each individual is different, they all have one thing in common, and that is the light radiating from their face. The adhan is their alarm clock, and once it goes off, everything stops except for the calling of "Allahu Akbar", everyone gathers as one Ummah (community) and begins to pray. They pray on the streets, in their homes, whatever they are doing, they stop, to pray and worship their Perfect Creator, Allah.

The society is clean and clear from corruption. There is no such thing as a social ladder or a "social status". Everyone is equal and abide by the Shari'ah. Nobody questions the laws, it is natural for them to just live this way, the way Allah planned. The media does not control the people, but the people control the media. The Western world does not control the people, only Allah is the One Controller. The Muslims who live in this community believe that Islam is the way of life, and not just a religion. The Muslims truly believe that without The Qur'an, there is no way to live. The Muslims truly believe in justice, equality, and peace. Everything is halal and done properly and in the name of Allah. He is the Perfect Creator of mankind and The Muslims of this Ummah fear Allah and The Day of Judgement. Everyone fears Allah and their every thought, action, and speech is measured as if Allah was right in front of them, Watching them, Hearing them, and Knowing what the are doing. The beauty of true iman that illuminates from each Muslim leaves you speechless. The way this town operates you think to yourself, wow, is this really true?

If only there really was a town so clean and pure and precisely following the teachings of our dear Prophet Muhammad(saw). If only there was a town where all Muslims feared Allah as if He were right in front of us. If only there was a place that was not corrupt and run by man made governments causing nothing but harm in the world. If only there was such a place called "One Nation" where everyone united as one and lived their life the way Allah had Planned for mankind. If only we could make a difference in the world and spread Islam the way Prophet Muhammad (saw) did, then perhaps we would then be known as a true servant to Allah.

We would be known as servants of Allah living together in one Ummah, spreading Islam as one Ummah, loving one another as one Ummah and working under one Ruler and that Ruler is Our Creator, Allah. We would be living in a world called, Tawheed.

A Lollipop Unwrapped.

'And Say to the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bossoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim women) (i.e. sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful' (24:31)

See the lollipop that is covered?
Compare that to a western woman flaunting her "goods" and then to a modest humbled Muslimah concealing her "goods".


"Why do they cover their beauty with that thing?"
"Aren't they hot in that?"
"Why do they cover up like that?"
"They must hate their religioin because they are forced to wear that thing"
"Whats that long robe thingie ?"

My sisters in Islam, please forgive me but I used to be among those who asked such ignorant questions and made such assumptions about the hijab. I never knew what the hijab was for and since I couldn't really formulate my own opinion I would just believe what anybody told me about Muslims. As I mentioned before, I had no idea that Muslims were the ones who practised Islam nor did I know what Islam really was. I didn't think past the "head thingies" as I was too self-absorbed and cared too much about what I looked like instead of what others looked like, WOW! Could you only imagine what kind of person I used to be before I came to Islam?

Most of you have already read my "Journey to Islam" story, where I described myself to have been extremely selfish, haughty, and ignorant. I can't believe the way I used to think and I thank Allah for the guidance. I definitely needed it, but you would be surprised (or maybe not) , to know that the majority of the Torontonians are still in their own little 'clouded bubble' (SEE POST "which catergory do you fit under"). Luckily, my bubble popped and now I am back into the world able to see clearly.

So, I'm sure most of you have been wondering how my first hijab experience was like. I gave myself a time frame, I was planning on sporting the hijab when I was "ready" and I had planned for it to be a month later I became Muslim. But of course, Allah is the Best of Planners and He knows best and I actually started wearing the hijab a week and a half after I became Muslim!

The hijab was definitely something I had to get used to!! I was always used to leaving my hair up in a ponytail or in a hairband so when I had to cover my hair and head completely, I was a bit nervous.
I actually was self conscious and worried what others would think! The hijab made me sweat and it felt very uncomfortable. It often made me frustrated when I couldn't keep it on properly and my hair would keep showing! The first few attempts, I failed miserably, but as the weeks progressed I learnt how to put it on properly and finally, Alhamdulilah I have mastered it :) !

There were times I wanted to give up and just stay at home to avoid going out at all costs! But I remembered the number one reason why I was wearing the hijab. It was to represent my trust and my faith in Allah. It was to hide my beauty and be a modest and humbled Muslimah. I was representing one of Allah's servants and I should be thankful that he chose me to walk in his straight path!
After constant reminders and struggles with my nafs, I won.
I love the hijab so much, I can't picture myself without it.
I feel honoured when I step out into the world with my hijab on as it represents true respect and love for Islam.

My hijab speaks for me and it says " Because I am a Muslimah!"
I would feel utterly naked if I didn't wear my hijab and when I see others who show their "goods" and flaunt them around carelessly, I thank Allah that I am now amongst billions who have chosen to wear the hijab with true pride and sincere dignity. I am not oppressed nor do I feel depressed when I wear my hijab. I look at the "bling bling whores" in the media today showing off their "goods" and think about the lollipop with no wrapper and with all the dirty flies flying around. Would I rather be like that? Or would I rather be respected for being a woman covered properly with butterflies flying around me?

I respect myself so much more now and I feel that because I am in a state where the Muslim population is almost close to none, it is my means of dawah. The hijab is my secret strategy to let others know that the hijab isn't just for "Arabs" or "Indians" but the hijab is for all women, every woman all over the world who believe that there is no God but one God and that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is the last messenger.