One Chinese Muslimah !

A memoir-blog written by a Chinese Canadian Convert.


Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias! It's Friday! 

Today will be another 'blooming letters of love' episode!

This is an intermittent 'series' intertwined with the sit-down interviews.

Today I narrate the story of sister 'Sabra for episode 29! 

Come join me and grab your cup of 'halal goodness' , insha'Allah!

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there.  
 
**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** I do not & will not respond to brothers.
 



Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 28 is with Andrea from the UK. She is a foster carer and by far this is one of the most touching stories I have ever heard, masha'Allah!  Grab your cup of halal goodness for this week's episode (and for all episodes!) 

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

This podcast is suitable for all listeners however, I do not & will not respond to brothers

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!) Hey Camellias! Today's Episode 27 is with Muna from Philly. She found Islam while she was studying in Harvard, subhana'allah! Make sure you grab your cup of 'halal goodness' and tune in for this episode, you don't want to miss (and all the other episodes,  hehe!)  Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there.  **Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. **  This podcast is suitable for all listeners however, I do not & will not respond to brothers

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 26 is with Samar from The Niqabi Diaries! We sit down and chat about her life before Islam and how she converted back when the only resources were no smartphones and only cassette tapes!

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

This podcast is suitable for all listeners however, I do not & will not respond to brothers

Make sure to check out my interview on her Youtube Channel as well! The video is actually posted on this blog here somewhere, lol.
Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!) Hey Camellias! Today's Episode 25 is with Valentina from Sweden! She shares her story about how she converted when she didn't even know she wanted to become a Muslim, Subhana'Allah! Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there.  **Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. **  This podcast is suitable for all listeners however, I do not & will not respond to brothers.


Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!) Hey Camellias! Today's Episode 24 is with Nur from Tokyo! Another Japanese convert, masha'Allah!  She shares her story about how found Islam after getting married! Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there.  **Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. **  This podcast is suitable for all listeners however, I do not & will not respond to brothers.

 Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 23 is with Dani from Step by Step Podcast. She shares her story about how she was a devout Christian and felt lost when she started having doubts. She is a new Muslimah, masha'Allah!

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

This podcast is suitable for all listeners however, I do not & will not respond to brothers.



So a break here in between my own podcast. I had a lovely time chatting with the sister from The Niqabie Diaries podcast. I actually really cringe at hearing myself but thought I'd share with you ladies my interview as I chat about my hijab/niqab journey. Stay tuned for her interview on my podcast insha'Allah (I guarantee she is way more interesting than me, Allahumma Barik!)



*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*

Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias! It's Friday! 

Today will be another 'blooming letters of love' episode!

This is an intermittent 'series' intertwined with the sit-down interviews. Today I narrate the story of sister 'amira' for episode 22! 

Come join me and grab your cup of 'halal goodness' insha'Allah!

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 
 

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 21 is with the Indian Revert Muslimah! We met a while back and I didn't even know it! She takes us on her journey to Islam and shares her experience of how it was like growing up as a Hindu. 

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

This podcast is suitable for all listeners however, I do not & will not respond to brothers.

 Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 20 is with the lovely Mariya from Japan! Another Japanese convert, masha'Allah!  She shares her story about how she and her husband converted to Islam!

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

This podcast is suitable for all listeners however, I do not & will not respond to brothers.

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 19 is with Aysha from Toronto. She shares her story about how she was a devout Seventh-Day Adventist who tried to convert Muslims to Christianity but the tables turned and she ended up becoming Muslim!

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

This podcast is suitable for all listeners however, I do not & will not respond to brothers.


Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 18 is with Danni from Danni in the Desert. A British Blogger who converted in Dubai and loves to change the misconceptions about Muslims and the Middle East. Today she shares her story and it is a very interesting journey!

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

I do not & will not respond to brothers.

Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 17 is with Susian. She is a Vietnamese convert and she actually stumbled upon my blog way back when! We finally connected and had a good chat. She talks about sisterhood and some of her struggles!

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

I do not & will not respond to brothers.



*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*

Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias! It's Friday! 

Today's Episode 16 is with Amanda, a new friend from Instagram. Her story is quite similar to Tash from Episode 6.

Amanda found Islam in Japan! She shares her stories and talks about domestic abuse/violence and shares some beneficial advice for us all. 

Please make sure to like, follow and share your beautiful thoughts in the comments section!    

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

I do not & will not respond to brothers.

*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*

Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias! It's Friday! 

Today will be another 'blooming letters of love' episode!

This is an intermittent 'series' intertwined with the sit-down interviews. Today I narrate Shannon's story on this week's episode 15! 

Come join me and grab your cup of 'halal goodness' insha'Allah!

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 
 
**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 
I do not & will not respond to brothers.

*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*

Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 15 is with Iris, from Hong Kong!  She is a Chinese convert and we have a nice lighthearted chat. Iris shares her experiences growing up Chinese as well as how she became Muslim. A very positive experience compared to many, Alhamdulillah! 

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

I do not & will not respond to brothers.




*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!* 
 Bismillah! 
 Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!) Hey Camellias! 


 Today's Episode 13 is with Aisha Davies. It is one of the most personal and vulnerable episodes aired to date! Please show your support to our sister and all sisters going through something similar and remember the importance of Sisterhood and being a "WE" not " ME" community.  Aisha sits down and shares her story, her struggles with healing from abusive marriages and also about the lack of sisterhood in the Muslim community. Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there.  **Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. **  I do not & will not respond to brothers.

 *Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*

Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias!

Today's Episode 12 is with Dawn. She is a Vietnamese convert and we have a really reflective chat about the blessing of being guided to Islam. She shares her very unique story from being an atheist to finding Islam through her sleep paralysis episodes and we also talk about struggles which a lot of converts face today! 

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

I do not & will not respond to brothers.

 


*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*

Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias! It's Friday! 

Today I wanted to introduce to you all, 'the blooming letters of love' ! This is an intermittent 'series' intertwined with the sit-down interviews. Find out what the blooming letters of love is all about in this Episode 11 ! 

Today, I share sister Sabira's story, a Canadian sister who took shahadah 8 months ago, masha'Allah! 

Come join me and grab your cup of 'halal goodness' insha'Allah!

 

Your support really means a lot and this community can't grow without all of you and your interactive engagements with each other; please make sure to like, follow and share your beautiful thoughts in the comments section!    

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

I do not & will not respond to brothers.

Abu Musa reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the believers are like a structure, each part strengthening the other,” and the Prophet clasped his fingers together.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 467, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2585


Bismillah!

Upon me starting this new podcast project, I am reminded about how much I hate social media yet how much I am thankful for it. As much as it is annoying, it really can be beneficial if you know how to use it properly. I've also found that these days, it really filters out and reveals the truth of the human being much quicker than say, ten plus years ago when I first started using social media. 

The power of duaa is a mighty, mighty thing which day in and day out I have been reminded to keep making. 
 
Recently, 

I've realized just how selfish some people truly are and while we have to make excuses for our sisters, there comes a time when you just need to realize their lack of effort isn't working for you and you need to move on. If someone really is valuable to you, there really is NO excuse to not keep the relationship going. There are sisters who are way busier and have way more priorities than others yet they still can find a quick minute to reach other and fulfil the duties of a Muslim.

Like, honestly, we live in the digital era where everything is practically done by texting anyway...how hard is it to just send a quick "Assalamualaikum" and check up on someone you consider as a "friend". 

I've noticed a lot of self-centred, oblivious behaviour from the youth are now flooding everywhere like never before deeming themselves to be self-entitled, it's all about me, it's all about my mental health, it's all about my privileges!

Yes, take care of your mental health, I definitely don't deny that. We all must. If taking care of your mental health means to cut people off, then ok, that's fine. But do it in a classy way. No need to get defensive, ghost people or make up some lousy excuses. 

Busy? 
Going through something? 
We all are!
That's life, life goes on and if we can't even be a friend or show up for someone during the busy days of our lives or the hard times in our lives, it really shows a lot about our characters and what type of person we are. 
We shouldn't have double standards and expect others to give when we can't even give back anything valuable, not even a simple "hey sis, how's it going, let's schedule a time to chat." 

I get it, some people go into hiding when things get tough, I did that myself for a while but you know what? Those that I gave the deserving title of "friend", I actually reached out to them still and showed them where they stood in my life. I showed up for them. 
Well, needless to say, those people are out of my life now because they can't show up for me or maybe they just don't want to and that's fine. 
People change and people grow...apart.
I've always believed truly in, actions speak louder than words, I don't care what excuses anybody ever tells you.
"Busy" is not an excuse especially when these very same people say they are busy yet they have time to post on Instagram and even take the time to write a caption! A caption! It takes more time to think of a caption to write under a picture than it does to just go and message a sister who you consider a "friend" and say hi! Subhana'Allah, lol.

Also, aside from those who "can't give you more than you need" there are those who get defensive when they are in the wrong and they are the ones who did something wrong yet they blame you! lol!
Sisters, if you wronged a sister or you did something wrong, own up to your mistake and just apologize! It doesn't take much to do that, a sincere apology. Remember you are a Muslim and you get rewarded from Allah for being humble and putting aside your ego and arrogance. 

Subhana'allah. I've noticed those who are a decade younger than us, their mentality and attitudes are much more different than say, those who are the same age. Don't get me wrong, some sisters are very mature for their age, Allahumma barik! 
But others, well, it shows. 
I never thought age would even be a reason as to why such behaviour exists...but now that I take a look at it from another perspective, it makes total sense. Especially a lot of the youth these days are in their own self-entitled super privileged bubble forgetting their manners with how to talk to their elders. Like, who do we think we are? Did our parents teach us and raise us to talk down to those older than us? Nevermind our parents, does Islam teach this? 



What is friendship?
These days I'm not sure I know anymore, lol.
I think I can tell you more about what friendship is NOT, though.
and that is :

All the countless excuses from sisters deeming that they can only give what they can (which to a certain degree is understandable and by all means acceptable) but when it comes to a certain point where their actions just don't match up to their words, this is not a friendship.
Constant excuses, selfishness, reaching out for your own personal gain only, this is not friendship.
When times get tough and we go through things and take our frustration and anger out on others around us, this is not friendship.
When we take but can't give, this is not friendship.
When it is all about ourselves and we don't have it in us to reciprocate and give our sisters their due rights as a Muslim, this is not friendship.
When we tell someone something and said specifically, THIS IS A SECRET, DO NOT TELL ANYONE, yet they go and tell your secrets and get upset at YOU for calling them out, THIS. IS. NOT. FRIENDSHIP.
When we can't even take a quick minute to check up on our "friends" and say "hey, how are you sis!" yet we can spend time on social media platforms, this is not friendship.
Never reaching out to someone but they are the ones reaching out to you, this is not friendship.
You go above and beyond for a "friend" yet they are ungrateful, unappreciative and feeling entitled to your kind treatment, this is not friendship. 
Blocking you because they know they are not doing their job as a friend and they get defensive at YOU, this is not friendship. 

Anything else I am missing? Please feel free to comment below. 

Since I started this new community project, I am reminded again at how important it is to maintain and build and cherish the sisterhood in Islam. I really feel a big difference from when I first started online. People have changed a lot and things are a lot different yet still the same. 
I hope with The Camellias Bloom, I can find the authentic and genuine sisters who truly care about their shade on the Day of Judgement and who don't live in their own self-entitled oblivious bubbles. 
I understand everyone is different and handles hardships and struggles differently. I also understand that people grow apart from each other due to personal differences, and that's ok...but do it with class and don't be a double standard hypocrite, may Allah protect me. Just because you get married or have children, doesn't mean you abandon your friends who were there for you once before. You might end up needing a strong support system in the end when things don't work out in the end, and maybe by then you would have pushed everyone away and left all alone for the wrong and harm you did to others.

Let us reflect, a reminder to myself and foremost.
If we want others to show up for us, show up for them first. 
Relationships goes both ways, who are we to expect that we deserve to be given without us giving first?  



Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Do not hate each other, do not envy each other, do not turn away from each other, but rather be servants of Allah as brothers. It is not lawful for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three days.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5718, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2559

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim



*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*

Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias! It's Friday!

Today's Episode 10 is with another new Japanese friend from Instagram!She is a Japanese convert currently living in France! Join us today as she shares her struggles and interesting experiences!

Your support really means a lot and this community can't grow without all of you and your interactive engagements with each other; please make sure to like, follow and share your beautiful thoughts in the comments section!

**Disclaimer: Hey!The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. **

I do not will not respond to brothers.

 *Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*

Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)

Hey Camellias! It's Friday! 

Today's Episode 9 is with my awesome friend, Helen!  She is a Portuguese convert and she has such a lively personality and a beautiful soul. I can't wait for you all to listen to her share her story and talk about her struggles with the hijab and her non-Muslim family. It is going to be very beneficial for us all to learn from her!

Your support really means a lot and this community can't grow without all of you and your interactive engagements with each other; please make sure to like, follow and share your beautiful thoughts in the comments section!    

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

I do not & will not respond to brothers.



*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*

Bismillah!

 

Eid Mubarak! 

 

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu! 

I wanted to publish this a little early so you all will be able to enjoy it a little earlier since it is an Eid Special episode!

What's Eid like for us converts? 

Arisa is back with me and we have a fun chat about our own Eid experiences as a convert.  

This episode is full of laughter and happiness so I hope you will all enjoy it and stay positive on this blessed day! 

Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

I do not & will not respond to brothers.



*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*
Bismillah!
Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)
Hey Camellias!
It is the first week of Dhul Hijjah! 
Let's try our best to work on ourselves and increase in all the good deeds we can sincerely for the sake of Allah, insha'Allah!

Today's Episode 7 is with Nur Arisa Maryam @thejapanesemuslimah ! She is an Instagram Lifestyle Influencer who I was following back in the day! I always wanted to connect with her and Alhamdulillah I finally got the chance thanks to Allah! Check-in on this week's episode where we talk about her life in Japan and the UK and how important it is to always remember our manners and common etiquettes in Islam! 
Please don't forget to like, subscribe & share your thoughts and comments with us! Your support means everything to me and all the sisters out there. 

**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 

I do not & will not respond to brothers.



*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!* Bismillah! Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!) Hey Camellias! It's Friday! Today's Episode 5 is with Tash, a new friend I recently met on Instagram! I had a lot of fun with her talking about her life in Japan and how she discovered Islam! She talks about how she loved the hijab without even knowing anything about it! Come join us for today's episode! It is a perfect day to start your Friday! Please make sure to like, follow and share your beautiful thoughts in the comments section! **Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** I do not & will not respond to brothers.


*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*
Bismillah!
Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)
Hey Camellias! It's Friday, woohoo!!!
Welcome Back!
Today's Episode 5 is with Eva! A Tawainese Convert sister who shares her story on how her interest in Islam started in University. She also shares personal experiences that dive a little deep into issues we all face as humans! 
Please make sure to like, follow and share your beautiful thoughts in the comments section!  Now on Apple, Google & Spotify! 
**Disclaimer: Hey! The acapella you hear in the background are vocal sounds with no lyrics or instruments. ** 
I do not & will not respond to brothers.




*Please kindly grab your headphones/earphones for this one!*
Bismillah!

Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you!)
Hey Camellias! It's Friday! 

Today's Episode 4 is with Leandra (Khadija). She is an Italian convert and she shares her beautiful story about how she navigates through life as a Muslim with her family and her husband's family (they both converted together! Masha'Allah!) 


Please make sure to like, follow and share your beautiful thoughts in the comments section! Find me on Instagram @thecamelliasbloom.podcast! 

All episodes are now on Apple, Spotify and Podbean !


Assalamualaikum!
It's Friday!

This week I sit down with my friend Sharrell. We go way back and she was the first sister I met in the USA...actually, she was the first sister I met when I first converted back in twenty-eleven.
It has been a journey for her since she discovered 2006 and only start practicing in 2011!

Sit down, relax, plug those EARPHONES in and check out our chat!


Please visit : https://thecamelliasbloompodcast.podbean.com/ for more episodes !
Please share your support to us converts/reverts/new muslimahs!



Assalamualaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu !

Hope you ladies had a chance to check out my very first episode where I launched my new project! Here is this week's episode where I get into more detail and get more personal about how I became Muslim ! I'm actually really nervous because I'm such a private person and don't really like to talk too much about my personal life. But this is a support networking platform to connect with one another, so I hope that you ladies will be able to find some solace and comfort knowing you are not alone!

The Camellias Bloom is not on Apple, Podbean and Soundcloud. Please like, follow, comment and share to show your support! Supporting me is supporting each other. Thank you to all the new friends I've met who have already shown their support and to the very few who I know personally and have actually shown their support. May Allah bless you.



Assalamualaikum Ladies! So this is what I've been working on! Please listen, support, follow and share! Your support is actually supporting all of us convert/revert/new muslimah sisters! May Allah put blessings and success with this project so we can come together and build a small online community for all of us convert/revert/new muslimah sisters Ameen!


Eid Mubarak, ladies. May Allah accept our fasts and bless us with many blessings this year and more to come ameen!

I hope you're all well.
I decided to start a new project, insha'Allah specifically for Convert/Revert sisters. I will be hosting my own Podcast Show , insha'allah (currently in the words by the permission of Allah). Hope you can all support and join in on the fun, for now, I've only got an Instagram account poppin' so check it out insha'Allah : 
https://www.instagram.com/thecamelliasbloom.podcast/
https://www.instagram.com/thecamelliasbloom.podcast/
So, I've been browsing through Facebook because it helps me keep up with worldly events and to also see what kind of nonsense is spreading during this time. A consistent theme I have been seeing is that just how many cultural and born Muslims are dependent on their Ramadan social gatherings! Subhana'Allah!

I've been seeing a bunch of these skit reminders and posts where they are reminding (mainly born) Muslims about how there won't be Taraweeh in the masjids and to urge everyone to stay in their homes during Ramadan. This year, it seems that no masjids will be open during Ramadan. That means no iftar, no suhoor, no five daily prayers and no Taraweeh in the masjids (mosques) this Ramadan. Now, while this is something foreign and heartbreaking to many men and even some women, I feel like it's definitely a beautiful lesson for us to all learn.
It is a time for some to realize that Ramadan is actually a month of solitude and serene worship between the creation and their Creator.

I've written countless posts regarding my Ramadan experiences. At the beginning of it all, I was sad and unable to acknowledge the importance of spending Ramadan in solitude. When I first converted, I expected Ramadan to be a family function and I wanted to be a part of that cultural practice. I thought spending Ramadan with a Muslim family where everyone engaged in worship together and spent time reflecting and understanding the deen together was how a (born) Muslim family celebrated Ramadan, lol.
I couldn't have been more wrong, lol.

Anyway, I'm not here to judge others and how they want to spend their Ramadan but I am here to write about this COVID-19 thing and how it has forced many of us, including myself to spend Ramadan at home. I will, however, mention that, to see many born Muslims share their sorrows of not being able to spend Ramadan in the masjid or spend it with their extended families, kind of makes me sad. I mean, of course, Ramadan is about praying in the masjid and worshiping Allah in a congregation, but when it comes down to it, even though you are standing shoulder to shoulder and standing before the imam reciting the Qur'an, you are to experience a singular and individual experience with you and Allah. Ramadan is for you to improve your relationship with Allah and with yourself. That can't be done by spending all your hours with family and friends. Sometimes, I don't understand how many born Muslim families consider Ramadan a time for eating and sitting with each other and automatically, that's how you are getting closer to Allah. I've kind of witnessed this and experienced it for myself recently and honestly, it is far from the reality of what Ramadan should be.

Ramadan should be a lot of things and spending 24/7 with friends and family, eating and laughing and watching sitcoms is something it shouldn't be.
Ramadan shouldn't be about just sitting there and looking at the time and waiting for that minute to hit the sunset time. Ramadan shouldn't be you wondering what you will buy for Eid and spend countless hours scrolling down your shopping app for the latest trends. Ramadan shouldn't be about just spending hours in the kitchen to prepare iftar. Ramadan shouldn't be about reading Qur'an from cover to cover only the words leaving the tongue. Ramadan shouldn't be about just the technical and physical actions of a Muslim.
I'm really blessed to be able to realize that Allah has allowed me to spend countless Ramadans alone and being able to find that balance of going to the masjid and spending it in the comfort of my own home. I feel blessed that I am able to finally realize that Ramadan should be focusing on bettering myself and preparing my meeting with my Lord, Allah.

So, what should Ramadan be about?
What are your thoughts? Comment below if you'd like.








These quarantine days haven't necessarily been any different than my usual regular routine outside of this whole COVID-19 situation.

I usually spend time alone most of the day and stay at home as much as possible. I actually have to force myself to go outside and get a breath of fresh air, otherwise, I could just continue staying at home avoiding people and avoiding life. 
Sometimes, the thought of getting dressed and having to put on all that Islamic gear, sunscreen and getting my purse ready and then thinking about how I'll feel hot while I'm out or getting too much sun totally just warrants me to stay at home and not be bothered with such strenuous tasks. Not to mention, having to shower and take off the sunscreen with a cleansing balm so my pores don't clog and end up giving me zits and then having to do laundry because you unwillingly perspired under all that fabric of love. I'm sure some of you get me. 

Now that I'm forced to stay at home, I feel like I'm on a holiday. An indefinite holiday where I feel like I can just sit and do absolutely nothing outside of my regular routine. Ramadan is a week away and I know I should be preparing for it but here I am, playing Scrabble Go and wondering what kind of nothing I should do for the rest of the day. 

I am aware that this time-wasting will be held against me on the Day I meet Allah. I know I should be doing more with my time and for His Sake, I should be as productive as possible.
You know, I envy (in a positive way) those who are so active in the deen and so consistently active. Like I've met a bunch of sisters on social media back in 2011 and to this day, they are still engaged in Qur'an studies and forcefully enjoining good and forbidding evil (well, so it seems on their Instagram accounts). They still (seem) to be the same kind of people they once were when I first 'met' them. These types of people seemingly are very inspirational to me as I struggle with consistency and as well, I get bored very quickly. When I start something, I usually intend to finish it but on my own schedule. I hate setting short-term goals or even long-term goals because then I feel forced and once I feel forced into something, I will just lose interest and end up hating something or leaving it altogether. I know this is not a good thing and I recognize it. I'm still trying to find that balance and trying to figure out how I can stay engaged and consistent without turning something into a chore (daunting task?). I know Allah loves consistency even if the deed was something small. I have to remember that.

I think because I'm somewhat an OCDer and an imperfect-perfectionist, I think only grandiose deeds are most beloved and acceptable for rewards. This is not true and I know it, and here's proof, Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Take up good deeds only as much as you are able, for the best deeds are those done regularly even if they are few.” (Sunan Ibn Mājah 4240 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani) 

While it's good to always surround yourself with those who are righteous, I think I've realized that I need to surround myself with people who understand balance and who also recognize that they are human beings who err and struggle. We live in the dunya and therefore we should acknowledge that the dunya is part of this life. We have to find that balance. I wish that I could go back to 2011 and spend every waking, breathing hour learning the deen, spreading the deen and engaging and encouraging others to do the same. I wish I could go back to the way I once was, but as I've learned throughout this journey to Allah, is that, though life is not constant, we are constantly changing. 

I've changed a lot. I've also recognized that I'm not that person I once was back in 2011. Situations are different now and I need to just go with the flow. I know I am wasting time now, I know it and I'm not happy about it. But I also know that I need to figure out what works for me without me falling into what I fell into back in the earlier years of my new Muslim days. I took the plunge when I didn't even know how to float. 

Well, one thing is for sure. 
Something that has kept with me consistently since I converted to Islam has been my writing. Without me even knowing or realizing, writing has always stuck with me. During my easiest and most difficult days, I've always kept writing. By default, I write when I'm happy, sad or just feeling bored and without even knowing it, writing has been the only form of solace that has stuck by me throughout this journey to Allah. 

So, I guess I will continue to write for as long as Allah wills for maybe this is that small, consistent good deed that can help me on the Day I return to Allah. 
Sigh.
The thought of returning to Allah just sends me terrifying chills. 
I guess that's another topic for another day, insha'Allah. 
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu,

as Ramadan is in a few days (wow, subhana'Allah!) and most of us (those who can follow rules) are in quarantine, I was thinking to start a Ramadan group where we share reminders daily from the Qur'an and Sunnah. I think it would be a good idea to help each other do small deeds during this time, insha'Allah. The group will be on LINE app ( avoiding whatsapp) . If you are interested, you will have to download the app and e-mail me your user ID , at converts4converts@gmail.com !  
Lately, I don't really know what to write.
I don't have much inspiration to write.
Things have changed quite a bit since a year ago and I'm trying to catch up with all of the changes.

The only thing I've learned lately is the things I totally dislike, lol.
Recently, I have learned many things and met many people who I absolutely just don't want to deal with.
I don't know why I've been so intolerant and antisocial lately.
The more people I meet, the less I want to deal with them. I thought I was easygoing, but at this point, I'm not even sure anymore, lol.

I feel like once I thought I had myself figured out, I'm suddenly faced with new challenges.
Well, I guess this is life; I have to keep reminding myself.

Just when things get quiet and I can take a quick breather, I am forced to suddenly rise and keep running to that finish line, whilst not even having caught my first breath!

This dunya is so tiring and I often find myself fighting to find that balance between the dunya and akhirah.
Lately, I'm finding myself more focused on the dunya rather than the akhirah.
It just sneaks up on you without you even realizing!

One minute you fear for what's to come regarding the akhirah and then the next minute you are worrying about financial stresses and not wanting to deal with family members who make your blood boil!

The Journey to Allah really is not an easy one.
There are so many distractions along the way and challenges that just stop you in your tracks and make you wonder what has become of me thus far???

I think the reason I haven't really written much lately or done any self-reflecting posts is that I don't even know what I am these days, lol.

I thought I had it figured out or at least part of me figured out, but the more I am faced with all these people and new situations which I never asked for, I find myself reacting instead of acting. Reacting in a way that isn't positive in the least. What happened to the things I've preached about good manners and good character?

I hate when people think I'm still the person I was when I first converted. Overzealous, 'religious', always have the answers and a good example.
A good example of what, though, lol.

Lately, I feel like I'm far from all of those things. Well, was I ever any of those things?
lol.
Overzealous, yah, maybe a bit too much.

Now, I'm just trying to get to that finish line and hope that my many sins and character flaws won't bring me down. I feel like they are slowing me down and also making me forget from time to time what my true purpose in this life truly is.

I guess, slowly, but surely is better, right?

Sigh, how crazy the dynamics of life is.
One minute you are this and the next minute you are that.

O Allah, our Lord! Give us that which is good in this life, that which is good in the Hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire.

assalamualaikum,

How is everyone doing with this whole coronavirus thing?
Are you having a hard time quarantining?

Insha'Allah I'll try to post more often during these times!
I've got a lot to say! 

Newer Posts Older Posts Home

Blog Archive

  • ►  2022 (6)
    • ►  November (1)
    • ►  October (1)
    • ►  May (2)
    • ►  April (1)
    • ►  February (1)
  • ►  2021 (28)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  June (2)
    • ►  May (2)
    • ►  April (7)
    • ►  March (7)
    • ►  February (4)
    • ►  January (5)
  • ▼  2020 (38)
    • ▼  December (4)
      • blooming letters of love: Episode 29- Sabr
      • Episode 28: Andrea- The Foster Carer
      • Episode 27: Muna- The Harvard Grad!
      • Episode 26: Samar from The Niqabi Diaries!
    • ►  November (5)
      • Episode 25- Valentina From Sweden!
      • Episode 24 - Nur from Tokyo
      • Episode 23: Dani - The New Muslimah!
      • My Niqab Journey on The Niqabi Diaries
      • blooming letters of love : Episode 22- 'amira'
    • ►  October (5)
      • Episode 21: The Indian Revert Muslimah- from Hindu...
      • Episode 20 : Mariya, The Japanese, Converts With H...
      • Episode 19: Aysha from Seventh-Day Adventist to Is...
      • Episode 18 : Danni in the Desert
      • Episode 17 : Susian another Vietnamese Convert !
    • ►  September (4)
      • Episode 16: Amanda - The Sensei!
      • blooming letters of love : Episode 15 - "Shannon"
      • Episode 14: Iris from Hong Kong~
      • Episode 13: Aisha Davies
    • ►  August (5)
      • Episode 12: A New Dawn, A New Day - The Vietnamese...
      • the blooming letters of love : Episode 11 - Sabira!
      • The "friend" That Wasn't
      • Episode 10: Yuka from Japan, to France!
      • Episode 9 : Helen, The Portuguese Convert!
    • ►  July (5)
      • Episode 8: Eid Mubarak! Eid Special with The Japan...
      • The Camellias Bloom: Episode 7 - The Japanese Musl...
      • The Camellias Bloom : Episode 6 - Tash Finds Islam...
      • The Camellias Bloom : Episode 5 - A Taiwanese Convert
      • The Camellias Bloom: Episode 4 - The Italian Conve...
    • ►  June (3)
      • The Camellias Bloom : Episode 3 - Sharrell. (now o...
      • The Camellias Bloom - EPISODE 2 ! (now on Apple!)
      • PODCAST LAUNCHES!!!!!
    • ►  May (1)
      • COVID-19: NEW PROJECT
    • ►  April (5)
      • COVID-19: OH NO! RAMADAN AT HOME?
      • COVID-19: I'm wasting time.
      • COVID19 : Ramadan Group
      • COVID-19 : Who am I these days?
      • COVID-19 : quarantine life
    • ►  January (1)
      • Beauty of Islam
  • ►  2019 (6)
    • ►  December (1)
    • ►  October (1)
    • ►  August (1)
    • ►  March (2)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2018 (13)
    • ►  November (2)
    • ►  October (2)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  August (1)
    • ►  June (1)
    • ►  April (1)
    • ►  March (2)
    • ►  February (2)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2017 (13)
    • ►  December (1)
    • ►  November (2)
    • ►  October (2)
    • ►  September (2)
    • ►  August (3)
    • ►  July (1)
    • ►  April (2)
  • ►  2016 (5)
    • ►  November (1)
    • ►  July (1)
    • ►  June (3)
  • ►  2015 (31)
    • ►  December (1)
    • ►  November (1)
    • ►  October (3)
    • ►  September (1)
    • ►  July (3)
    • ►  June (3)
    • ►  May (1)
    • ►  April (2)
    • ►  March (5)
    • ►  February (7)
    • ►  January (4)
  • ►  2014 (25)
    • ►  December (4)
    • ►  November (2)
    • ►  September (5)
    • ►  August (3)
    • ►  June (2)
    • ►  May (1)
    • ►  March (4)
    • ►  February (2)
    • ►  January (2)
  • ►  2013 (49)
    • ►  December (4)
    • ►  November (6)
    • ►  October (3)
    • ►  September (6)
    • ►  August (2)
    • ►  July (6)
    • ►  June (1)
    • ►  May (3)
    • ►  April (3)
    • ►  March (3)
    • ►  February (6)
    • ►  January (6)
  • ►  2012 (128)
    • ►  December (5)
    • ►  November (8)
    • ►  October (10)
    • ►  September (16)
    • ►  August (23)
    • ►  July (9)
    • ►  June (3)
    • ►  May (13)
    • ►  April (8)
    • ►  March (7)
    • ►  February (21)
    • ►  January (5)
  • ►  2011 (45)
    • ►  December (2)
    • ►  November (12)
    • ►  October (3)
    • ►  September (9)
    • ►  August (19)

Support The Camellias Bloom

Become a Patron!

The Camellias Bloom Podcast

Loading...

ABOUT ME



A Chinese Convert born and raised in Toronto. A moody but friendly introvert. I recently started a Podcast for Convert/Revert/New Muslimahs! I blog about stuff.

Followers

Search This Blog

POPULAR POSTS

  • The Future of Hijab
  • Sunnah Style : My HONEST review..
  • Memorable Monday's
  • Who am I to judge?
  • Being Chinese....??!
  • The Struggle is Real. - Me, my niqab & life.
  • Can a friendship of a non-believer be kept?
  • Sister, who are you striving to be like?
  • The Islam Way: How to change the world
  • Do clothes make the woman?
One Chinese Muslimah!. Powered by Blogger.
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.

Followers

Visits



Pages

  • Home
  • My Journey to Islam.
  • Links
  • Arabic Translations

Designed by OddThemes | Distributed by Gooyaabi Templates