One Chinese Muslimah !

A memoir-blog written by a Chinese Canadian Convert.

With the terrifying events that recently took place, I often wonder why Muslims are still targeted as terrorists. There was a shooting in the heart of Toronto at one of the biggest malls, another shooting took place at a "block party" and then the recent event that happened at the screening of "Dark Knight", oh and let's not forget about the dismembering of the student from China by his male partner who sent the deceased's remains to the Canadian Parliament (gag). I am sure there are way more shootings and acts of violence that we haven't heard about as well. 


The amount of violence that has been happening around the world is just depressing.
This world has become a sad sad place and look at the Mercy of Allah, and how He still manages to bless us with His unending Mercy and Bounties. We human beings do nothing but harm the beautiful nature, torture other creations, and abuse the resources provided by Allah in excess. Though not ALL humans are like this, I speak based on what we see and hear with our own eyes and ears. I don't really have to watch the news to know what is happening in the world which is quite sad. We look around us and we see people and the way they behave, the way they disrespect other people because of their race or religion, the amount of violence and bad language that they use, and the plain arrogance and ignorance of the human being.

What has the human being become? I certainly feel like animals behave better than humans these days. Some animals are cleaner, have more modesty, and defend and protect their fellow pack. What have we been doing except polluting our minds, bodies, and the environment? What have we been doing except displaying half of our awrah to the world and calling it modesty?
Finally, what have we been doing to protect and fight for our fellow Muslims? What ever happened to treating the Ummah as one body?

You know whats sad? When I first became Muslim, I was so excited to meet Muslims all around the world who shared the same passion and love for Allah as I had/have but as I meet more Muslims and learn more about the Muslims around me, I get discouraged and feel nothing but disappointment with the lack of sincerity that they have for adhering to the Qur'an and the Sunnah.
I sometimes just want to go up to these "liberal" Muslims and ask them, " If you died right now, would you be ready to meet Allah?"
We should ask ourselves this powerful question each and every day, since it seems that the Qur'an and Sunnah astughfurAllah is not a good enough reminder for some. 

May Allah protect us all from kufr, bida'ah, and from the evils of ourselves and may He continue to guide us on His straight path that He has ever so generously blessed us with.
Ameen.

"Do you see the one who takes whatever he desires as his object of worship, and Allaah misguides him knowing that he will not be guided and He seals his hearing and his heart and He places upon his sight a covering."
(Sooratul-Jaathiyah (45), aayah23)




Looking back on the past posts I've written, I realised I haven't done much reflecting since maybe 6 months ago? Subhana'Allah how time flies. Though I always post valuable information that I know my sisters would benefit from (for the sake of Allah, and Allah alone) , I have yet to post something that's been "catchy" or left readers saying "wow, Masha'Allah!" lol.

Well, since I have all the time to my advantage (Alhamdulilah), I will attempt to write something worth reading Insha'Allah. 

Now that I have been a full fledged Muslimah for one year now, Alhamdulilah, I have learnt a lot about myself, I think. Islam has really taken me places I have never ever thought of going, EVER. I am not talking about physically because those moments are short lived and what remains in our memories slowly fade away with time. You can be in so many places physically, but mentally are you REALLY there? Well, the only place I feel that you can experience everlasting memories while being there physically and mentally is Makkah & Madinah. *sigh* <3

I wanted so badly to travel to Makkah & Madinah this Ramadan and but as Allah planned it, I did not go. Now this experience had left me sad, upset, and in despair. I had increased my duaas and my ibadaah hoping and praying that Allah would grant me the opportunity to spend Ramadan in Saudi because even before I became Muslim, I wanted to go to Masjid al-Haram. My iman came to a red light and I stayed idle for a time that felt like forever. I had slowed down in my trust in Allah because I thought for some reason astughfurAllah, Allah was punishing me. I am not going to lie, as I am only human, but I felt a bit of hopelessness and totally defeated (by myself). I can't really recall the exact feelings I felt at the time, as now I am Alhamdulilah back on the road to Jannah, trying to adjust my GPS. But I do remember that I was going through a series of emotions only Allah knows. Who would have thought, a trip to Saudi would affect me so badly? Was it the thought of spending Ramadan alone that I wanted to avoid? Or was it the visual image in my mind of making tawaf around the Kaabah with thousands of Muslims? I guess it was a bit of both. 

I was shattered and heart broken. I felt like Allah was mad at me and hated me! I felt like I must have let Him down some how, and that really did break my heart. The thought of disappointing one's spouse or child is already a feeling that leaves your heart heavy, but could you imagine disappointing your Creator, your Protector, The MOST Merciful, The Almighty, The Most Loving, The Owner of the Day of Judgement?!!!!! *sigh* 

I finally realised, that this is my jihad. I was going through such inner struggles that I have never in my life felt before. The thought of truly letting down The One more important than your own husband! Though, I didn't even know what I was doing to let Him down, I felt that it was my own fault that I was not going to Saudi. I was thinking irrationally and my feelings were based on emotions. 

Fast forward to this present moment.

Alhamdulilah, by the Wisdom of my Almighty Creator, I realise (and continue to realise, and WILL continue to realise insha'Allah) that this is what was written for me. I am slowly seeing the benefits of me staying in Toronto this Ramadan. I have definitely learnt a valuable lesson with all that has happened within these few long months. Learning to FULLY trust in Allah, never becoming complacent or stagnant with your deen, and constantly reminding yourself " I can fight through my nafs with Allah's help and Allah is with me." 
I felt like I was at a standstill with my deen, and let me tell you, it is one frightening experience, that ONE moment you trip and fall and you don't get back up again, shaitan will charge at you full speed and keep knocking you down over and over and over until your in your grave with no good deeds to bring with you!! Can you imagine this? 

Well, It may not seem like such a big deal to you, that I was not able to travel this year to Saudi but it was, and still is, something that I have truly been longing for in my heart since the day I took my shahadah. I want to be able to set foot on the very place that prophet Ibrahim (as) and Hajar (ra) set foot on. The very place that our beloved prophet (pbuh) prayed at. To pray right in front of the Qibla, and to witness all the history that we learn about in the Qur'an standing right before me. Subhana'Allah. Insha'allah may Allah take me to Makkah and Madina, the two most holy cities known to mankind and may I die there.

If you are reading this, please keep me in your duaa and Insha'Allah I will see you there . 

I leave you with this beautiful Surah , for those who have felt (or are feeling) the way that I have been feeling. Never despair, for Allah is with His true believers, and Jannah is better for us. 

Surah 93 Ad-Duha.
1 By the glorious morning light,
2 And by the night when it is still,
3 Your guardian Lord has not forsaken you, nor is he displeased.
4 And truly the hereafter will be better for you than the present.
5 And soon will your guardian Lord give you what shall please you.
6 Did he not find you an orphan and give you shelter?
7 And he found you wandering, and he gave you guidance.
8 And he found you in need, and made you independent.
9 Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness,
10 Nor repulse the petitioner;
11 But rehearse and proclaim the bounty of your Lord!


Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatu!!!!!

Well, I am awake awaiting the first sahuur of the BLESSED MONTH! O' RAMADAN <3 ...
I am just so excited I know I won't be able to sleep tonight and even if I tried, i'd probably be tossing and turning in bed while checking the time every 5 minutes! So i'd rather just stay awake and insha'Allah start my nightly ibadaah that I have planned for this month Insha'Allah!

I have began with reading a few pages of the Qur'an in Arabic and insha'Allah I will start to memorize Surah Al-Qadr! I managed to memorize Al-Kafiroun last night with that link I provided yesterday! www.mounthira.com Masha'Allah this site is great for memorizing, it truly is!

Anyhow, I wanted to write a bunch of things but I forgot half of what I wanted to write about! Subhana'Allah...

I  had my first taste of timbits today from Tim Hortons. Oh how I miss thee'! Nothing beats an iced cappuccino and some timbit treats in the summertime! Though I thought I would devour the mini donuts in a matter of seconds, the box still lies on the kitchen counter, ignored ! >.< Insha'Allah I will get to them!

I wish that I was in Saudi this Ramadan but I know that Allah has plans for me and this is written in my nqadr, so I must go with it, and take full advantage of these quiet nights. The solitude and peacefulness I am enjoying in my room right now is something I do appreciate. Though, its 1:03AM I hear some sort of chirping outside, is that normal? I mean I'm on the 18th floor of a apartment, so I'm not sure what bird would be flying about at this time!? Allah knows best!

Anyhow, at first I was truly sad and almost depressed that I would be spending Ramadan all by myself (physically, because Allah is always with me!) and I would have nobody to have my sahuur or iftar with but then I thought about all the other sisters who are in the same boat as me, if not worse, and I can't help but say Alhamdulilah 3la kul 7al ( Praise be to Allah upon every state of being ) and so I go about my days being thankful rather than being mopey. This solitude sort of forces me to be closer to my parents, as well as forces me to learn more about Islam and read Qur'an more. As I admit during this year, I was struggling to keep consistent with my studies! Insha'Allah this Ramadan will give me a boost and will last me until next Ramadan (if I am still alive until then!)

Alhamdulilah my parents are slowly coming through, Masha'Allah , they are respectful of my Islam and know that I need to pray 5 times daily, and they know that I need to fast this month. They do not bother me with my Islam nor do they say anything, but rather they have been encouraging Alhamdulilah! . I find it great Masha'Allah when they know that I can't eat certain things because they are not halal, and I like that my mom buys me hijab clips (even though I havent told her I wear niqab when I'm not in Toronto!) for my hijabs Masha'Allah! They don't ask me to go out with them because they know I have to pray on time! Alhamdulilah, this is TRULY a blessing from Allah. I continue to pray to Him asking Him that He will guide my parents and all the non-Muslim parents of my dear revert sisters to the truth of Islam!!!!! Ameen.

Well, that's it for now.. insha'Allah I will blog tomorrow as I attempt to keep up with my "30(+) posts in 30 days " Insha'Allah!


Assalamualaikum wa rahamtulahi wa barakatu!!!!

I stumbled upon this amazing site! Masha'Allah! To help us memorize key surahs easier, check out this link! It has the recitation so you can hear the pronounciation (which is slowly recited) , and the transliteration so you can read it and also the Arabic as well as the English translation!!!

This is GOLD!!! MASHA'ALLAH! please pass it on and increase yourselves in a good deed before Ramadan insha'Allah!!!!!

http://www.mounthira.com/ 




<3Khadijahxo





I recently designed some hand drawn patterns onto some blank gift cards, and as well some patterns on paper! These are all done with colour pencils!! I would really love your input! 

For many people, the key question regarding fasting is 
whether it is good or bad for your health. The answer to 
this requires a quick overview of what happens inside the 
body during fasting: the physiology of fasting.

The changes that occur in the body in response to fasting 
depend on the length of the continuous fast. Technically 
the body enters into a fasting state eight hours or so after 
the last meal, when the gut finishes absorption of nutrients 
from the food. In the normal state, body glucose, which is 
stored in the liver and muscles, is the body’s main source 
of energy. During a fast, this store of glucose is used up 
first to provide energy. Later in the fast, once the stores 
of glucose run out, fat becomes the next store source of 
energy for the body. Small quantities of glucose are also 
‘manufactured’ through other mechanisms in the liver.

Only with a prolonged fast of many days to weeks does 
the body eventually turn to protein for energy. This is 
the technical description of what is commonly known as 
‘starvation’, and it is clearly unhealthy. It involves protein 
being released from the breakdown of muscle, which 
is why people who starve look emaciated and become 
very weak.

As the Ramadan fast only extends from dawn till dusk, 
there is ample opportunity to replenish energy stores at 
pre-dawn and dusk meals. This provides a progressive, 
gentle transition from using glucose to fat as the main 
source of energy, and prevents the breakdown of muscle 
for protein. The use of fat for energy aids weight loss, 
preserving the muscles, and in the long run reduces 
your cholesterol levels. In addition, weight loss results in 
better control of diabetes and reduces blood pressure. 

A detoxification process also seems to occur, as any 
toxins stored in the body’s fat are dissolved and removed 
from the body. After a few days of the fast, higher levels 
of certain hormones appear in the blood (endorphins), 
resulting in a better level of alertness and an overall 
feeling of general mental well-being.

Balanced food and fluid intake is important between 
fasts. The kidney is very efficient at maintaining the 
body’s water and salts, such as sodium and potassium. 
However, these can be lost through sweating. To prevent 
muscle breakdown, meals must contain adequate levels 
of ‘energy food’, such as carbohydrates and some fat. 
Hence, a balanced diet with adequate quantities of 
nutrients, salts and water is vital.

(http://www.alhudainstitute.ca/Upload/kitabassaum/Ramadan_Health_Guide.pdf)
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu!
I stumbled upon this great little reminder and decided the importance of sharing. It is a great reminder for us all who are married or who will be getting married soon! 

The following is part ONE of a summary of the book "How to make your husband happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

1- Beautiful Reception
After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,
begin with a good greeting.

* Meet him with a cheerful face.
* Beautify and perfume yourself.
* Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.
* Receive him with loving and yearning sentences.
* Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2- Beautify and Soften the Voice
* For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men
(men who can marry you if you were unmarried).

3- Smelling Good and Physical Beautification
* Taking good care of your body and fitness.
* Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.
* Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces
or bad smells.
* Avoide that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape.
* Avoide prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoo.
* Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes.
* Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time.
* However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course,
only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4- Intercourse
* Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.
* Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning
yourself of released fluids during intercourse.
* Exchange loving phrases with your husband.
* Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.
* Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband,
and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a
travel, weekends, etc.

5- Satisfaction With What Allah (SWT) Has Allotted
* You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a
simple job.
* You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember
Allah (SWT) for all that was given to you.
* You should remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety.

6- Indifference to Worldly Things
* You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.
* You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.
* Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible
(Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and
utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah).
* Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order
to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7- Appreciation
* By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women
because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.
* The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and
will do his best to please you in more ways.
* The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed
and will start asking himself: Why should I do good to her, if she never
appreciates?

8- Devotion and Loyalty
* In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business,
e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy
* Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9- Compliance to Him
* In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram).
* In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his
support and consultant.

10-Pleasing Him If He Is Angry
* First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
* But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:
1- If you are mistaken, then apologize.
2- If he is mistaken then:
# Keep still instead of arguing or
# Yield your right or
# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully
with him.
3- If he was angry because of external reasons then:
# Keep silent until his anger goes
# Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone
insulted him
# Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened,
e.g. 1) You should tell me what happened? 2) I must know what
made you so angry. 3) You are hiding something, and I have the
right to know.

11-Guardianship While He is Absent
* Protect yourself from any prohibited relationships.
* Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things
that the husband doesn't like other people to know.
* Take care of the house and children.
* Take care of his money and properties.
* Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full
hijab.
* Refuse people whom he does not like to come over.
* Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place.
* Be good to his parents and relatives in his absence.

12- Showing Respect for his Family and Friends
* You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his
parents.
* You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.
* You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose
between his mother and his wife.
* Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to
sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
* Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.
* Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for
them, support them in calamities, etc..

13- Admirable Jealousy
* Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept
within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others,
disrespecting them, etc..
* You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14-Patience and Emotional Support
* Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.
* When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your
husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases,
accidents, death, etc.
* When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested,
etc.), be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and
remind him of paradise.
* When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment

15- Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad
* Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory
and voluntary worships.
* Encourage him to pray at night.
* Listen and reciting the Qur'an individually and with your husband.
* Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.
* Remember Allah SWT much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.
* Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.
* Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners ('adab) for women.
* Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise
opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
* Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband
for Da'wah.
* Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and
children will be in the preservation of Allah SWT.

16-Good Housekeeping
* Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.
* Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.
* Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods.
* Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.
* Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17-Preservation of Finances and the Family
* Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission
unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
* Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
* Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of
their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam
and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions. 
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      • The world today
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      • What do you think?
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A Chinese Convert born and raised in Toronto. A moody but friendly introvert. I recently started a Podcast for Convert/Revert/New Muslimahs! I blog about stuff.

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