Tuesday, October 16, 2012

My encounter with death.

Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatu, 

I would love to share with you a 'frightening' experience of mine.
I had an encounter with death, and it wasn't a typical one where I witnessed it with my two eyes (Alhamdulilah), or experienced it physically (Alhamdulilah). It was through a dream I had.
Now, on occasion I will experience these random dreams I have where I am encountering the Day of Judgement. I choose not to share them mainly for the sake of keeping terrifying dreams to myself, however, THIS dream I felt the absolute need to share. Perhaps we can all benefit from it, and give ourselves a reality check (including myself) on just how short life really is.

What are we doing while we are alive? Are we wasting time chasing the dunya and refusing to be obedient to Allah and His messenger (sallahu aleyhi wasselam)? (And by refusing to be obedient, I don't mean abandoning prayer, fasting and all the minimum obligatory acts, but I mean the small deeds like learning what proper modesty is, learning good manners,  improving ourselves through sisterly advice, and not be swallowed by our own nafs and pride). May Allah always protect us from the evils of ourselves and keep us steadfast upon the haq of deen-Al Islam. Ameen.

So, the dream.
This dream I had was not so much terrifying, but a true reminder. When I think about it, my heart still races and I pray that it will continue to leave this effect on me as time passes. I can't recall the exact details but it went something like this:
It started out at home, and I was physically dead but my soul was alive. I had died and questioning period with Allah had begun. I was being sent to the grave and when I got there I was laid upon a conveyor belt that was bringing me slowly through each and every part of my deeds from the beginning of my life as a Muslim. I was crying and pleading to Allah to forgive me my sins and to have mercy on me during the questioning period. I pleaded to Him that I wasn't ready to go, to give me more time, and that it was TOO soon! I kept crying and saying La ilaha ilAllah over and over again. I had reached finally onto the conveyor belt and  the questioning began, the conveyor belt was long, real long, it was like many stations set up of multiple choice questions that I had to answer and be held accountable for what I had done in my life. SUBHANA'ALLAH. I kept thinking "if only I had done this more during my time alive", " if only I could have done more good deeds."
...and suddenly I woke up. Could you imagine if I hadn't woken up from this dream?
Alhamdulilah, it was JUST a dream but it left me really panicking and hastening to work and strive harder in the way of Allah.
I remembered the verses mentioned in the Qur'an to the disbelievers;" Until, when death comes to one of them (those who join partners with Allah), he says: My Lord! Send me back," (23:99) the verse followed after mentions "So that I may do good in that which I have left behind!" No! it is but a word that he speaks and behind them is a barrier until the Day when they will be resurrected." (23:100).Could you imagine the disbelievers or hypocrites that have all the opportunity to do good and seek the truth, yet they choose not to because they follow their desires and are too attached to the wordly life?! Subhana'Allah. We are Muslims, blessed with Islam, we should be doing AS MUCH as we can on a daily basis earning only the pleasure of Allah....but are we? This made me REALLY think deeply.

SERIOUSLY we take time for granted and waste so much of it arguing with others, hating on other people's blessings (which ALLAH is the one who blessed them with in the first place), we waste so much time being ungrateful to Allah, we complain about everything, we forget to pray the Sunnah prayers, or say simple duaa's to help increase our ibaadah, we brag about our ibaadah even if it's just the BARE minimum, we are so easy to point fingers at others when we should focus on ourselves, and we forget our MANNERS AND have bad character.

All this time wasted, for what? To satisfy our own nafs? Why do we need to show off to people to gain their pleasure? So we can feel good about ourselves for 5-10 minutes? Do we seek applause from people because we lack the enthusiasm to want to please Allah instead? During the first while of my life as a new Muslim, I was ignorant. I suffered many of the characteristics that I see in many Muslims today.
I made it a point, a goal, and an absolute MUST to change the way I was and the FIRST STEP is to admit that you are ignorant and to stop pretending to be someone you are not. If you are not polite, humble, and modest then admit it to yourself, nobody needs to know but Allah. The SECOND STEP, is to research, learn and read from reliable sources such as the Qur'an and Sunnah to educate yourself (do not blindly follow the people) and to keep yourself in GOOD company (with sisters who are enthusiastic about seeking knowledge and Allah's pleasure alone). The THIRD STEP? APPLY the knowledge that you have learnt, otherwise it is pointless and valueless. FOURTH STEP? Remind yourself that you are doing this to seek Allah's pleasure, not your own, and not anyone else's. Finally, the FIFTH STEP, self reflect on your actions and if you notice that there is a reoccurring pattern of how others treat you, or  how you feel about yourself then seek Allah for forgiveness and guidance. THIS is what I went through in order to leave my nafs and focus on what pleases Allah and not the creation. I still am going through my learning curve and every single day is a struggle, and it will never end, just like the journey to seeking knowledge. As soon as you stop, you become ignorant, and when you become ignorant you fall into sins.

What a reminder this dream was.
All of it was surreal but every part of it was SO real because we will ALL die, and we will ALL go through our questioning period with Allah.

All I can say is, just be ready.




5 comments:

  1. Assalamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh,

    JAZAKI ALLAHU KHAYRAN FOR THIS INSPIRING POST AND MAY ALLAH REWARD YOU !!
    I shed tears while reading this.. it reminded me of the dreams I had when I was in jahiliya. I often dreamt about the Akhirah, there were fire balls falling off the sky. I was scared and was shouting to myself "If ONLY I remained upon the Straight Path".
    And now, I am extreeeemely grateful to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, because I felt His LOVE !! HE was giving me LOTS of chances to repent through those dreams !! AND SUBHANA ALLAH, when I came back to my deen, I stopped having those dreams. Because alhamduli Allah, I became more self aware and I also struggle on A MINUTE BASIS to keep firm and chase the darkness of my nafs that still and will always exist.

    Allahuma hdina wa thabbitna 'ala hadha deen (May Allah guide us and keep us firm on this deen). AMEEN.

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  2. Asalamu alaikum,

    Thank you for sharing a wonderful post. I have a special message for you posted today, hope you like.

    Take Care.

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  3. I keep saying istigfar when reading this. Thank you.
    And I've just voted you as best blog :).
    -Hanna-

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  4. What an incredible post!!
    That is reality, that we will be judged for everything we do in life! We have to be constantly conscience about that everyday of our lives. Life is a long or short test.
    Thank you for sharing!!

    -Liz

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  5. Jazaki Allahu khairan. You are so right, sister.
    I wasted too much time... and want to be ready for Akhira before being too late.
    I will dua for you, me and other sisters who strive to be better Muslim.

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Assalamualaikum, please be mindful about what you are about to write. Think about it before writing and make sure it is something positive and beneficial, otherwise it will be deleted and ignored. JazakiAllah kheyr ! Sisters ONLY! xo